Donald Duck is recuperating tonight after being mistaken for a mallard duck.
For an upcoming roll in which he plays a mallard duck; Donald had been preparing by dressing up like a mallard and seeing if he can go about without being noticed.
Mallard ducks are an invasive species to central Florida and in an effort to curb their spread Disney has a policy of capturing and neutering mallards found on property.
This afternoon while visiting the Animal Kingdom, some cast members caught Donald and brought him to the Conservation Station where he was knocked out and operated on.
"This was just a terrible misunderstanding. The cast members that caught Donald really thought he was a freakish large mallard duck," stated an unnamed Disney spokesperson.
It appears that the cast members in question did not react to Donald's cries of protest. Apparently they could not understand him. In fact one of the cast members involved in the capture, Goofy, freely admitted this fact. "I've know Donald for decades. When he gets excited you can't understand a word he says. I truly believe this is his fault. You'd have to be dumber than I am to dress up like a mallard in Disney World."
Donald could not be reached for comment but is expected to be released from the hospital this weekend.
Showing posts with label Donald Duck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Donald Duck. Show all posts
Friday, September 16, 2011
Monday, December 13, 2010
400 Posts - Somone Must Have Lost a Bet by Now
Somehow I made it to 400 posts. I think I’ll adopt the slogan “I succeed despite my best efforts.”
In the last 100 posts I rolled out a number of photos, videos, and accidently my two of my most popular posts ever. I don’t know why or how it happened but someone running another Disney site that people actually visit linked to one of my posts about a new fake marathon. Sadly most of the people hitting my blog had no idea what they were in for. No one complained but I’m guessing a lot of people were not pleased. The other post drew people because they thought it might be true. COME ONE PEOPLE! Did you really think Disney was going to off Light Cycle rentals in it's parks?
Those people are the first group I’ll apologize to. If you’ve never read one of my round up posts, I don’t thank people anymore I apologize to them for mentioning them on the worst Disney blog on the net.
Here are the others I’d like to apologize to:
Mr. Potato Head – It wasn’t even a good photo but I posted it anyways.
The Power Rangers – Even though I really don’t like you I know I kicked you while you guys were down.
Father from the Carousel of Progress – You were the brunt of one of my meanest posts ever.
Anyone who works at any Disney Resort – I’m sure you don’t appreciate the fake nicknames.
Michael Eisner
People Who Like Mission Space
The Yeti
Kodak – I would have run for the hills too.
Donald Duck – I know your not an insane terrorist.
Len Testa – I must have made fun of you at some point in the last 100 posts. If not I’m really losing my edge.
Lou Mongello – For stealing your idea for a restaurant.
Now without any further shenanigans here are the last 100 posts. It might not look like it but all of the titles are linked to the posts.
Post #301
A photo of the best audio animatronic in Disney World
Post #302
The classic fireworks show from a secret location.
Post #303
My review of the much beloved dining location
Post #304
A true story about what happens when things go wrong on the tower of terror.
Post #305
A decent photo of the neon Soarin sign.
Post #306
My second review of the San Angel Inn
Post #307
I celebrate the announcement that the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers got dropped by Disney.
Post #308
Want to read a review about a bad restaurant? Well here you go.
Post #309
I explain in this post when Disney has some of the best queues anywhere.
Post #310
My review of the Downtown Disney eatery.
Post #311
I explain why the Princess and the Frog is one of the worst Disney movies ever.
Post #312
It’s been a while since I did a truly demented post. It was long over due.
Post #313
A photo of some of the harder to see animals on the tree of life.
Post #314
My review of the Hall of Presidents. I got to do it without my wife. Which means I didn’t have to listen to someone complain.
Post #315
A photo of Cinderella’s Castle during the 25th anniversary celebration.
Post #316
An overview of the good, the bad, and the ugly rides when you have a bad back.
Post #317
A true story about how a well meaning cast member can put you in the dog house.
Post #318
Lets go hang out in a giant tree house! Oh joy!
Post #319
I ride Pooh again. I guess I’m a slow learner.
Post #320
A photo of the dumbest cowboy boots you’ve ever seen.
Post #321
A fake news story about the Splash Mountain
Post #322
A photo proving that Disney hasn’t abandoned educational attractions.
Post #323
My plan to ruin Golden Oaks. This post was inspired by Elizabeth Barrett’s Facebook post.
Post #324
My review of the Tiki Room. It makes me sad.
Post #325
I compare the two versions and explain which I like better.
Post #326
I do a review of the boring, misguided movie in China
Post #327
A nice photo of the Illuminations show in Epcot.
Post #328
A fake news story about Universal turning fat people away and Disney helping them out.
Post #329
I do a comparison of the morning and evening extra magic hours. Beyond time there is a huge difference.
Post #330
I explain why I bought another hat when I don’t wear hats.
Post #331
I describe a new YouTube video that covers one family over 25 years of Disney vacations.
Post #332
A fake news story about one of the animatronics resigning from the Carousel of Progress.
Post #333
A new YouTube video that only took me six months to get to.
Post #334
True stories about some of the grumpiest people in Disney World.
Post #335
I explain the real reason why the Magic Kingdom
Post #336
I expose what the most neglected park is and explain why it qualifies as the most neglected park.
Post #337
My idea for an amazing Disney video game that will never happen.
Post #338
A fake news story about a Disney Donkey being decorated.
Post #339
The first round of the Resort Rivalry series.
Post #340
A nice photo of World Showcase just before Illuminations begins
Post #341
An honest look at Michael Eisner’s Impact on the Disney Company
Post #342
A rant about one of the worst rides in Epcot – Mission Space
Post #343
A fun fake news story about the status of Jose the Yeti
Post #344
A great nighttime photo taken in Frontier Land
Post #345
I do an overview of things that should be made into movies and movies that should be remade.
Post #346
I explain why Disney raises their ticket prices every year in this post.
Post #347
A photo of Burt and Mary in a parade.
Post #348
Part two of the fake cast member rivalry. This one is full of insults that can be used to offend numerous cast members.
Post #349
A fake news story about how Disney plans to attract boys to the new Fantasy Land Expansion.
Post #350
A Decent photo from the Hoop Dee Doo Review
Post #351
A fake news story about monkeys invading the Swiss Family Tree House
Post #352
A fake interview with a Disney spokesman about the dynamite chewing goat on Big Thunder Mountain
Post #353
I officially announce my next trip to Disney World.
Post #354
The last of the resort rivalry series.
Post #355
I review one of the worst attractions in Disney World!
Post #356
A photo of Jim Henson’s imprint in front of the Great Movie Ride.
Post #357
I give props to Mongello. Please do not send hatemail.
Post #358
A decent photo of Spaceship Earth in the Morning
Post #359
An overview of the places to injure yourself in Disney World.
Post #360
I expose something that Carnival likes to keep hidden.
Post #361
My overview of the rumors people spread about Walt Disney and how true they are.
Post #362
A decent photo of the inside of the Tower of Terror
Post #363
A dire prediction of horrid weather on it’s way.
Post #364
My overview of Kodak ending their sponsorship of the Imagination Pavilion.
Post #365
I provide a list of people who are addicted to google.
Post #366
A fake news story about Donald Duck going nuts.
Post #367
A list you can use to know when you’ve gone nanners.
Post #368
I explain where to find a big design flaw in Disney World. I also explain why it’s a flaw.
Post #369
A cool photo from the seas pavilion.
Post #370
A list of 20 must follow rules while in Disney World.
Post #371
The announcement of a new brutal marathon and of course it’s fake.
Post #372
An old school photo taken with an old school camera.
Post #373
Some tips and tricks for getting the most out of the dining plan.
Post #374
Blog Updates
Post #375
I explain why it’s an honor to be a deek.
Post #376
I give some simple advice for people who want to take better photos
Post #377
Failed Disney SlogansA list of fake Disney Slogans that never saw the light of day.
Post #378
A half decent photo taken in one of the darkest parts of the Haunted Mansion
Post #379
You Won’t Find Boobies Here…At Least Not the Ones You’re Looking For
You just have to read this one.
You just have to read this one.
Post #380
Disney Announces New Crowd Control MethodA crazy post about using shrinking rays to fit more people onto rides.
Post #381
My top ten list of the best movies of all time.
Post # 382
I show a decent fireworks photo and explain how you can take it.
Post #383
CMDTA’s Worst Movies of All TimeI do my top ten worst movies list.
Post #384
In this part of photo tips I explain the different settings on the average camera and when to use some of them.
Post #385
A joke news story about a new promotion where you can help build Disney World.
Post #386
A fake news story about Disney trying to milk as much money as possible out of Tron Legacy.
Post #387
My announcement and reaction to Disney shutting down the Food and Wine Festival in Disney Land
Post #388
Toy Story 3 ReviewI finally watch Toy Story 3 and give everyone my two cents.
Post #389
A photo of Illuminations taken with a Fireworks setting.
Post #390
A fake news story about Disney banning ugly people from their parks because of their new promotion.
Post #391
I explain why Carnival has some of the worst customer service in the cruise industry in this post.
Post #392
I explain how Disney fireworks are different from normal fireworks displays.
Post #393
I explain why an on-ride photo can be a painful experience for some people.
Post #394
I explain why some Disney films die before they even hit the screens in this post.
Post #395
A Photo of the topiary versions of Mickey and Minnie at night with Cinderella’s Castle in the background.
Post #396
I tell what Disney song gets me out of bed.
Post #397
It’s what you think. A list of upcoming topics with some good old fashion NCL bashing.
Post #398
In the return of the CMDTA series I explain why flying is just awful.
Post #399
CMDTA on Vacation – Pre-Cruise HotelI relate the my experience with one of the worst shuttle services EVER!
If you missed the past group lists - here they are:
100 Posts - What a Fun but Colossal Waste of Time!
200 Posts – The Men With the Nets Haven’t Caught Me Yet!
300 Posts – Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid
If you missed the past group lists - here they are:
100 Posts - What a Fun but Colossal Waste of Time!
200 Posts – The Men With the Nets Haven’t Caught Me Yet!
300 Posts – Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Donald Duck Involved in Armed Stand Off
Disney fan favorite Donald Duck was recently involved in an armed standoff at his boat in Mickey’s Toon Town Fair.
Disney security was called to Mickey’s Toon Town Fair last Friday morning after a report of a “heavily intoxicated” Duck who was “up to all kinds of shenanigans.” When security arrived they found Daisy Duck in a yelling match with Donald Duck. The situation quickly escalated when Donald ran inside after spotting the security cast members.
“Mr. Duck barricaded himself inside his boat at which time Ms. Duck informed us that Donald was intoxicated and armed to the teeth,” stated Disney’s SWAT team leader Grumpy Dwarf.
Through out the stand off police found out that Donald was upset because of an eviction notice he received. His boat is to be demolished as part of the
After hours of trying to reason with Donald they decided to gas him out of the boat. A squad car was sent over to
Once the location was secure, security was able to search the boat. They found two bazooka’s, a M16 assault rifle, a dozen hand grenades, back issues of “Ducks and Guns Quarterly,” countless bags of beef jerky, bottled water, and a voodoo doll in the form of Mickey Mouse.
Donald is currently undergoing psychiatric evaluation and charges are pending the outcome.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Disney Helps People Who Fail the “Three Click” Test
To ride the new Harry Potter ride, guests must not only fit in the ride vehicle but make the safety bar click three times. If a guest fails to get the third click they deemed to be a chunky butt and turned away.
To embarrass the average guest even further Universal has deployed fat police to look for average to large guests trying to get on the ride. If the fat police spot you they will pull you out of line.
“Universal displayed the mental capacity of a slug when they designed that ride,” said Donald Duck in an interview. “A guest who is 5’10” and weighs over 220lbs normally cannot ride. That’s a huge proportion of our guests.”
To ease the pain of failing the three click test, Disney is offering free admission to any average to large guest who turns in a valid Universal day pass. The guest will also receive a shirt that says “I just failed the three click test. I’M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”
When asked how Disney would recoup their losses Donald stated, “You have to remember two things: One – we can afford to help our valued guests. Other parks might make fun of them but they are always welcome here. Two – The people Universal is preventing from riding eat the most. We’ll be just fine.”
In preparation for the expected crowds Disney is stocking up with extra turkey legs, popcorn, Dole Whips, and other beloved treats. All Disney restaurants will also be fully staffed for the foreseeable future.
(If you couldn’t tell by the fact Donald Duck was the spokesperson – this is a fake news report. However, I think it would be one of the greatest PR stunts in Disney history)
Friday, January 15, 2010
Len Testa Hates Donald Duck
Recently it came to light that there is a recommendation in the “Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World” that is inaccurate.
As you may know if you follow the blog I ate at Yack and Yeti on my last trip to Walt Disney World. I ordered the duck and it was horrifyingly bad (see Yak Yack and Yeti).
I emailed the gang at the WDW Today Podcast to relay my experience. They answered the email in episode 633. When responding Len asked “Who orders the duck?!?” despite the fact that the duck is recommend in the book he co-authors.
I found it odd that Len would make that statement despite the fact that at least one person has claimed (emphasis on “claimed”) he writes every review, experience, reader feedback, and comment in the Unofficial Guide. That made me do what I do. I looked into it.
I discovered a dark secret and a massive feud that has been raging for years.
Back in 1998 Len was in WDW for a research trip. He was in line for
Len got over this in time but another event broke the flood gates open.
In 1999 Donald Duck convinced the Disney big wigs to shut down the Alien Encounter in
Things calmed down a little when Len’s distant cousin Stich was announced as the star of the new attraction. However, things really hit the fan when the ride opened. Donald ensured that the ride was AWFUL! He ensured that it was a slap in the face to all aliens.
This was the last straw. Len pulled some strings and made sure that duck became a recommended dish in the Unofficial Guide.
Donald didn’t realize the effect of the recommendation until six of his cousins disappeared without a trace. When Donald looked into it he discovered an explosion in the number of ducks being eaten through out Disney World.
In response Donald pulled strings and ensured that the duck was one of the most overcooked, tasteless dishes in Disney World. He also convinced the powers that be to force Stich into another awful attraction. In fact Stich’s Super Sonic Celebration turned out so bad it was shut down after less than a month of shows.
It is rumored that to get back at Donald, Len has recently taken up the sport of duck hunting and convinced the vets over at the Animal Kingdom to castrate all mallard ducks they catch on property.
No one knows how this feud will end but be warned. If you find your self in Disney World and see Len and Donald at the same time, take cover! It won’t be pretty.
DISCLAIMER: The above story is mostly fiction with accurate facts worked in. It’s never been proven that Len is an alien (it’s just common knowledge). Len claims he did not write the review for Yak and Yeti (see episode 668 of the WDW Today Podcast). Donald did not cut Len in line in 1998 (I think he was in front of him to begin with). There is no proof that Donald was involved with the decision to shut down EAC, open Stich’s Great Escape, or involved with the Super Sucky Celebration.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Mexico’s Tequila Bar Has Disastrous Opening
The new tequila bar in Epcot’s Mexico pavilion experienced a disastrous opening earlier this week.
Everything was going well; guests were sampling numerous tequilas and enjoying their day in Epcot. The bar was well supplied with tequila, salt, and limes and there was no fear of running out of supplies.
Around 12:30pm things changed. Everyone’s favorite alien, Len Testa (see Len Testa – Tequila – the Shocking Connection) arrived on the scene.
When Len caught the scent of tequila he went nuts. He charged the bar, knocking numerous guests out of his way. He jumped over bar itself and started to grab the tequila bottles. The cast member working the bar tried to restrain him but was rendered unconscious when Len burped his chilidog breath in his face. Donald Duck, in his Mexican outfit, ran over and tackled Len from behind. Len, using his alien strength, tossed Donald about 50 feet into river.
Len proceeded to guzzle all 70+ bottles of tequila before calming down. He then apologized to everyone, helped Donald to his feet, and left a generous tip for the still unconscious cast member.
A park representative announced that an armed guard will now be stationed at the bar to prevent tequila guzzling aliens from causing any future problems.
Everything was going well; guests were sampling numerous tequilas and enjoying their day in Epcot. The bar was well supplied with tequila, salt, and limes and there was no fear of running out of supplies.
Around 12:30pm things changed. Everyone’s favorite alien, Len Testa (see Len Testa – Tequila – the Shocking Connection) arrived on the scene.
When Len caught the scent of tequila he went nuts. He charged the bar, knocking numerous guests out of his way. He jumped over bar itself and started to grab the tequila bottles. The cast member working the bar tried to restrain him but was rendered unconscious when Len burped his chilidog breath in his face. Donald Duck, in his Mexican outfit, ran over and tackled Len from behind. Len, using his alien strength, tossed Donald about 50 feet into river.
Len proceeded to guzzle all 70+ bottles of tequila before calming down. He then apologized to everyone, helped Donald to his feet, and left a generous tip for the still unconscious cast member.
A park representative announced that an armed guard will now be stationed at the bar to prevent tequila guzzling aliens from causing any future problems.
Monday, July 6, 2009
Disney Announces New Service for Divided Homes
A Disney spokesman announced a new service for people who live in Disney Divided households last week. The new service called “Spouse Locker” will allow Disney fans to bring their unknowing non-Disney spouses to a facility where they will be put in a medical comma for a set period of time.
“This is a great service for all of our fans whose spouses complain about vacationing at Disney. We expect to see a boost in park attendance from this program,” stated VP of Grumpy Guests, Donald Duck.
The service has multiple levels and price points to cover almost every household. Level one includes basic medical sedation and revival. Level two adds a manicure / pedicure to the package. Level three adds vacation memory implants so your spouse doesn’t know they didn’t going on a Caribbean vacation. Level four adds spray tanning and numerous simulated photos as proof they were on vacation.
A fifth level is being considered for long term storage. Cryogenics has been proposed as an option for individuals whose spouses truly hate Disney.
The service is expected to be online later this year.
“This is a great service for all of our fans whose spouses complain about vacationing at Disney. We expect to see a boost in park attendance from this program,” stated VP of Grumpy Guests, Donald Duck.
The service has multiple levels and price points to cover almost every household. Level one includes basic medical sedation and revival. Level two adds a manicure / pedicure to the package. Level three adds vacation memory implants so your spouse doesn’t know they didn’t going on a Caribbean vacation. Level four adds spray tanning and numerous simulated photos as proof they were on vacation.
A fifth level is being considered for long term storage. Cryogenics has been proposed as an option for individuals whose spouses truly hate Disney.
The service is expected to be online later this year.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Disney Books You’ll Never See
Over the years Disney has releases many books. Some have been stories about characters, some have been comic books, and some have been non-fiction. What many people don’t know is that every year Disney decides not to release books to the public that they feel would be taken the wrong way or ruin certain aspects of the parks. Here are just a few of those now shelved books:
“My Addiction to Honey – How I lost Everything” by Winnie the Pooh
“Clown Feet: Cinderella’s Dark Secret” by Sleeping Beauty
“I Ordered the Fish at Narccossee’s” by Ariel
“The Seven Pre-Madonna’s” by Snow White
“He Has Ear Implants – 101 Things You Never Knew about Mickey” by Minnie Mouse
“Crying Spaceman: The Time I Kicked Buzz’s Butt in a Fight” by Woody
“The Ultimate Wingman – Bar Hopping With Genie” by Aladdin
“Chipmunks Are Tasty” by Pluto
“Pants Are Overrated” by Donald Duck
“How to Make Bio Weapons with Household Products” by Professor Honeydew
“I Talk This Way to Get Chicks” by Beaker
“My Life as a Cage Fighter” by Stitch
“My Jokes Aren’t Bad, You’re Just Stupid” by Fozzie Bear
“I Was A Bare Knuckles Boxer” by Gonzo
“The Princesses Biggest Secrets” by The Fairy God Mother
“I Taught Remy Everything He Knows” by Rizzo the Rat
“Why You Should Run Away” by Nemo
“I’m really Canadian” The Autobiography of Sam the Eagle
“Respect Through Fear: How to Compensate Being Short” By Piglet
“I Hate Mice” by Roy E. Disney
“My Addiction to Honey – How I lost Everything” by Winnie the Pooh
“Clown Feet: Cinderella’s Dark Secret” by Sleeping Beauty
“I Ordered the Fish at Narccossee’s” by Ariel
“The Seven Pre-Madonna’s” by Snow White
“He Has Ear Implants – 101 Things You Never Knew about Mickey” by Minnie Mouse
“Crying Spaceman: The Time I Kicked Buzz’s Butt in a Fight” by Woody
“The Ultimate Wingman – Bar Hopping With Genie” by Aladdin
“Chipmunks Are Tasty” by Pluto
“Pants Are Overrated” by Donald Duck
“How to Make Bio Weapons with Household Products” by Professor Honeydew
“I Talk This Way to Get Chicks” by Beaker
“My Life as a Cage Fighter” by Stitch
“My Jokes Aren’t Bad, You’re Just Stupid” by Fozzie Bear
“I Was A Bare Knuckles Boxer” by Gonzo
“The Princesses Biggest Secrets” by The Fairy God Mother
“I Taught Remy Everything He Knows” by Rizzo the Rat
“Why You Should Run Away” by Nemo
“I’m really Canadian” The Autobiography of Sam the Eagle
“Respect Through Fear: How to Compensate Being Short” By Piglet
“I Hate Mice” by Roy E. Disney
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
We Need to be PC Because It’s PC to be PC
Anyone notice how rabid Disney is about being PC? Over the last 30 years Disney has gone off the deep end. Remember the genius that created Disney? Some guy named Walt? He wasn’t very PC. He was a visionary and an entertainer. Those two things seldom are PC. If you do not know what I am talking about consider this. Walt was responsible for Song of the South (enough said), a pirate chasing after an underage girl, a fat lady chasing a pirate, and a mouse that often abused animals in his early films.
Here is where Disney has gone a little crazy:
Did you know Indiana Jones fought the Red Cross? If you don’t know what I am talking about look at the plane in the Indiana Jones stunt show at DHS. The plane has red crosses on it. The symbol looks like the American Red Cross logo. I don’t know when this changed but it’s been in the last ten years. I have a picture of that same plane with a swastika on it. You’re portraying the Nazis as bad guys. I think it’s ok to blow up a plane with a swastika on it. I actually think that’s better than blowing up a plane owned by the American Red Cross.
Splash Mountain: So it’s less offensive to have a fat frog imitate the African American that originally narrated the story than the actual African American? Ok Uncle Remus was a racist character (not the character but the way he was portrayed) so replace him with another character from the film not a fat frog that sounds like him. In some ways that’s more offensive.
Snow White and the Seven Little People. That sounds funny but I’ve seen stuff online that suggests that a discussion like that took place. Even beyond that a discussion occurred about whether Dopey should be seen in the parks and if his mine carts should be removed from the ride. Excuse me! Most kids don’t know what "dopey" is. No one has used that term in 20 years. It’s not like he’s named retard, stupid, or nitwit. Although nitwit might be ok. I think that’s another term that’s dropped out of the American vocabulary.
Donald Duck – America’s Favorite Nudist. Disney has discussed putting pants on Donald Duck. I’ll give you a minute to stop laughing. How insane is that? Did someone forget he’s a duck? The fact that his wardrobe was more of consideration than his speech impediment fries my noodle.
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