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Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Disney Takes Action Against Stinky Guests

I really wondered why Disney decided to remodel the logs on Splash Mountain. I thought if you were going to remodel the logs you would have made them a little roomier or redesign the front to prevent people from getting soaked during the drops. After all that’s what a sane person would do.

Disney decided to redesign the logs so more water would fly up and hit everyone in the face. They redesigned it to really soak people. Why? That makes no sense.

I decided to do what I do best, I looked into it.

As you know Disney tries to be very PC even when being PC isn’t very PC. They often think of the minority when making decisions. That can be a good thing. It allows a vast majority of people to enjoy Disney World.

According to my fake sources, the Splash Mountain log redesign was the result of a mandate that was given to Disney Imagineering. They were told to find a way to reduce the number of stinky people in the Parks.

Many people are offended by body odor. It can make people sick and generally ruins a good time. Other people have allergies and have a bad reaction when they are stuck next to someone who smells like they bathed in cologne, such as the cast from Jersey Shore. The best way to counter smelly people is to give them a bath / shower.

The Imagineers already had a good anti stinky person ride in the form or Kali River Rapids. Even if the guests were wearing ponchos enough water makes it through to be effective. In the Magic Kingdom Splash Mountain has been redesigned to give everyone a bath. In Epcot the boats on Maelstrom are going to be redesigned with holes in the front to blast people with water when they go down the drop. In DHS the Tarzan scene of the Great Movie Ride is going to be replaced with a scene from Back Draft. The fire will be on one side of the ride vehicle and the fire fighters, including fully functional fire hoses, will be on the other side.

When all of the changes are in place Disney World will be a wetter but less stinky place.

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