A Disney spokesman announced a new service for people who live in Disney Divided households last week. The new service called “Spouse Locker” will allow Disney fans to bring their unknowing non-Disney spouses to a facility where they will be put in a medical comma for a set period of time.
“This is a great service for all of our fans whose spouses complain about vacationing at Disney. We expect to see a boost in park attendance from this program,” stated VP of Grumpy Guests, Donald Duck.
The service has multiple levels and price points to cover almost every household. Level one includes basic medical sedation and revival. Level two adds a manicure / pedicure to the package. Level three adds vacation memory implants so your spouse doesn’t know they didn’t going on a Caribbean vacation. Level four adds spray tanning and numerous simulated photos as proof they were on vacation.
A fifth level is being considered for long term storage. Cryogenics has been proposed as an option for individuals whose spouses truly hate Disney.
The service is expected to be online later this year.
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