A major outbreak of the dreaded Yeti Virus has forced Disney’s Animal Kingdom theme park to close until further notice.
The virus was first detected last week when guests of the park started to display symptoms often associated with the disease. By the end of the week it was estimated that one hundred and eight people had contracted the virus.
“If you start sprouting tuffs of coarse hair all over you body, grow large fangs, and start eating people, we urge you to seek medical attention,” stated a leading expert on the Yeti Virus.
“I don’t think it’s any surprise as to the origin of the outbreak. The Yeti who hangs out in Expedition Everest said he wasn’t feeling well. He also started sneezing on the guests as they passed through his cave,” a cast member stated.
“My girlfriend got sneezed on by the yeti. She got off the ride and ran to take a shower. She was covered in Yeti boogers. By the next day she stared growing hair everywhere and then she ate my roommate. That’s when I got concerned and called for help,” stated a local resident.
The virus is only spread through direct contact and is not airborne. The Yeti has been quarantined and the Animal Kingdom is being disinfected. The park is expected to open as soon as the cleaning is complete. However, Expedition Everest will not reopen until two weeks after the Yeti’s symptoms have cleared.
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