A Last Ride on Snow White

The Scary Adventure of Snow White was a ride that scared more kids that Alien Encounter ever did.  Why?  Because it was around a lot longer than Alien Encounter.  The witch freaked a lot of kids out.  It's almost sad that kids will need to find another way to get freaked out in the Magic Kingdom.

I'm sure there are some people out there who loved this ride.  For those people I have something.  I've posted a video of the ride in 1080p on YouTube.  It was taken back in October.  If you loved this ride go ahead and check it out.

Good bye Snow White.  


You can see the video here.

Dining Review: Princess Storybook Dining

I'm not a fan the whole princess fad.  Then again I think it would be disturbing if I was.  A guy in his 30's who loves the princesses is just creepy.

So why did I go to the Princess Storybook Dining in Norway?  For a couple reasons.  This is a very popular breakfast, a lot of people who are considering a Disney vacation and have young children might want some info on this,  and I didn't go alone I brought my wife and 21 year old niece.

Since this is a character breakfast and has a fixed price I'll cover this one a little differently than usual.

First - What do you get?

You get a photo of you and your party taken with one of the princesses.  The price of the photo is included in the price. You also get a half buffet style meal which consists mainly of generic breakfast food items.  The last thing is the interaction with the princesses.

Now I say it's a half buffet because the hot food items are delivered to your table family style while the rest of the food is available at a buffet.  Like the other Disney buffets you also get juice or coffee.

Next - The food

The food is really generic.  If you have been to one Disney breakfast buffet you have been to this one.  The typical bacon, eggs, Mickey waffles, and pancakes are here.  The only exception to the norm, and the only Norway connection I could find, was the fish offering.  To be honest if you just want breakfast DO NOT GO HERE.  The food is not worth the money.

The Atmosphere

The atmosphere is ok.  It's nothing special.  There are some nice wood accents and some fireplaces that are not accentually burning wood.  Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with the atmosphere.  I guess the best way to put is that it's a normal Disney atmosphere.  It's not boring but it's not top notch like the San Angel Inn.

The Princesses

The princesses are decent.  I really tried to put aside my feelings about the Princesses and try to think about how a kid would react to their interaction.  What they typically do is approach the table, refer to all of the girls (and women) at the table as fellow princesses, and they might refer to some of the men at the table as kings or princes.   Keep in mind all of the princesses are totally in character so Ariel will mention having her legs instead of a tail, Aurora might mention being woken up with a kiss, and Snow White might talk about the the seven dwarfs.  While this is nice they really do not do anything that really makes them stand out.  None of the princes really went above and beyond while we were there.

I will say one thing.  One would think that Disney would almost have their choice when it came picking their princesses.  It seems like there should be enough people who want to be princesses to really be selective.  Now don't get me wrong, all of the princesses were nice and tried to stay in character.  However,  I could understand why a prince would fight for the Cinderella and Ariel that came to our table.  However if Snow White or Aurora had to rely on their looks alone to get their princes to wake them up....they might have had to wait quite a while.   I'm not saying they were ugly but they were not what I'd call a princess.

To be honest the Aurora that came to our table looked a little psychotic.  I thought at any minute she could lose it and start stabbing people.  The Snow White looked like she just woke up in an ally and Disney stuffed her into a princess outfit and tossed her out there.

You might have noticed that I didn't mention Belle.  That's because she was being used for the formal photos that Disney was taking.  There was a reason for this.  The lady playing Belle was extremely nice and stunningly beautiful.  She was a near perfect Belle.  You will not see a photo of her because Disney technically owns the rights to that photo and also because I'm in it and there is not a single photo of me anywhere online.

The Service

There really isn't much to mention here.  It's typical buffet style service.  Our server was nice.  I actually felt bad for her.  It can't be easy to work somewhere like this.  The price is basically fixed and you are not the center of attention.  It's almost like no matter what you are going to get what you get and nothing more.

The Value

If your children are REALLY into the princesses then you might find this experience to be a good value.  If you or your children are not into the princesses then you're better off skipping this because it's insanely expensive for a breakfast never mind a buffet breakfast.

Snow White Bites the Apple

It’s now official – The Scary Adventures of Snow White is getting shutdown.  What’s amazing is - not many people are really upset about it.  I think the fact that a new Snow White related ride is coming is helping to temper people.

In some ways I’ll miss Snow White.  I remember riding it as a kid.  The witch scared me.  The part that really scared me was when she was trying to drop the boulder.  I have no idea why it scared me it just did. 

Years later I was happy to know I wasn’t alone.  Lots of kids have been frightened by Snow White over the years.

I do feel bad for family with the autistic child who have ridden this ride some ridiculous number of times.  Actually I should say I feel bad for the child.  He’ll be upset.  I bet the parents broke down and cried tears of joy when the announcement was made.

One thing I do expect to happen now.  I expect to see a record number of YouTube videos of this attraction spring up.  I have to say that’s one area where YouTube is priceless.  It allows us to see all the attractions we’ve lost over the years.

Disney Considers Re-release of Snow White with Missing Dwarves

Disney is considering releasing Snow White in its original state. Snow White originally had fourteen dwarves. The extra dwarves were considered inappropriate and cut from the final version of the film.

“You have to remember Snow White came out in the late 30’s. Standards have changed a lot. Back then people took offense to things we don’t think twice about today,” stated Doc Dwarf in an interview.

An additional thirty minutes of film will be added back into the movie including the following scenes:

Gassy dwarf gives a grenade to Snow White while the other dwarves laugh

Touchy dwarf gets slapped senseless by Snow White for being himself

Boozy dwarf finishes off the moonshine and forgets to put his pants on before leaving the house

Stinky dwarf enters a room and Snow White gets sick

Dirty dwarf is diagnosed with scabies and has to sleep in the shed

Ugly dwarf takes the bag off his head and Snow White faints

Wimpy dwarf gets beat up by a group of small woodland animals

The original version is being restored and formatted into 3D so Disney can make as much money off of it as possible. It is expected to be ready for a release during the holiday season.

Grumpy Flies Defamation Suit

Grumpy, the famous “little person” from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves fame, has filed a defamation suit and is seeking damages for what he calls “character assignation.”

The suit states that use of the term Little Person is offensive and should be discontinued. The suit also draws attention to the fact that a “little person” refers to a human of small stature and is not as appropriate term for non-humans.

“When will people get it through their heads?!? I’m not a human, I’m a dwarf! Do you find people calling Gimli from the Lord of the Rings fame a human? NO! Does R. A. Salvatore call his characters who are dwarves, little people? NO! Stop calling me a little person!” Grumpy ranted at a recent press conference.

The suit is seeking 100 Trillion in damages from anyone who has ever called Grumpy a little person and is also seeking to remove all references of “little people” from anything related to Snow White and the Seven….Short, Stocky, Non-Humans.

“Snow White never called us “little people.” She was intelligent enough to know we weren’t human. Why do you think none of us other than Dopey ever made romantic advances towards her?!? Maybe it’s because she’s not a dwarf and we’re not human! Dopey only did because he’s an idiot and thought she was just a really tall dwarf,” Grumpy told a reporter from the Toon Town Gazette.

The suit is expected to reach the courts sometime in August. Until then everyone is urged to avoid using the term “little person” in reference to Grumpy.

Everyone Has a Favorite

Every little girl…ok most little girls dream of being a princess. Disney has made oodles of money off of this fact. Just look at the boutique in Cinderella’s Castle that will transform your daughter into princess for a small fortune. Every little girl has her favorite princess.

Do you want to know a secret? Every guy has his favorite princess too. Most men just keep that a secret or only admit to it by accident or under threat of serious harm. Take for example the stellar bravery of Corey Martin from the DIS. He freely admitted that his favorite was Aurora aka Sleeping Beauty.

Mike Scopa also displayed some true grit when he not only admitted that he has been to the Norway Princess breakfast in Epcot, but that he enjoyed it! Then again age could be catching up to him…I hope he’s not turning into one of those creepy old guys who makes all sorts of lewd comments to pretty women…Na he’s just being brave…I hope.

People who have read this blog (so no one) might think my choice would be Mary Poppins. They would be wrong for a few reasons. One: Mary Poppins is not a princess. Two: Mary Poppins is my favorite Disney character. I never said she was the most attractive. Three: Most of the time Mary Poppins shows up in the white dress which I strongly dislike.

My choice is a little different. Most people pick Cinderella. I’ve never really liked blondes (so I guess that eliminates Aurora too). I always thought Jasmine was a little skanky. I’ve always thought Ariel was barley a teenager and that’s kind of creepy. So that leaves two right (three in a few months but until she shows up in the parks she’s not in the running)? Belle or Snow White - for most people that would be a hard decision, but it’s not for me. Every time I’ve seen Snow White in the parks I’ve done a double take. I don’t know if it’s the makeup or the costume or what but she hits the top of my list. What I should say is – Snow White is German and my wife is partly German so Snow White reminds me of my wife…..yeah that’s it.

Ok now that this post has hit a record level of creepiness I’ll stop. Last thing I need is a restraining order.

Girl Power!

Disney has always tried to have strong female characters in its movies. Generations of girls have grown up watching a plethora of different heroines. There is one place in regards to this that Disney has come up a little short. That place is when you consider video games. Can anyone think of decent video game that included the Disney Heroines?

There is a simple fix for this. It would be revolutionary game that on one has attempted. Take very major Disney Heroine from Snow White to Hannah Montana and put them in a FPS (first person shooter). Each heroine would have their own stage. You have to fight your way through each stage (with the exception of the heroine you chose) by shooting that heroine’s minions. For example in snow white’s stage you’d be fighting your way past her forest friends and the seven dwarfs. At the end of stage you’d take on Snow White herself in a classic boss battle.

As we all know, Disney heroines do not shoot each other with guns. That’s why each boss battle is not done in a FPS format. It will convert into a classic fighting game format that would be like Street Fighter or Tekken.

Another thing that we need to discuss is the fact that this is not going to be a typical shooter. It doesn’t need to be violent and people don’t need to die. If you want that go play something else. There are enough of those games to last you a life time. This would be more tongue and cheek kind of shooter. For example there would be some fun weapons that everyone could use like snow balls, broom sticks, water balloons, and stuff like that. Then each heroine would have her own individual weapon. Cinderella would throw glass slippers, Alice would throw mushrooms, Marry Poppins would have her umbrella, and Minnie would throw her classic hair bows like ninja stars.

I think that would be a fun, although demented game for kids. You’d even get adults playing that. Adding a multi player feature would be fun too. You could add a co-op mode and a vs. mode. You could waste a lot of time on a game like that.

We Need to be PC Because It’s PC to be PC

Anyone notice how rabid Disney is about being PC? Over the last 30 years Disney has gone off the deep end. Remember the genius that created Disney? Some guy named Walt? He wasn’t very PC. He was a visionary and an entertainer. Those two things seldom are PC. If you do not know what I am talking about consider this. Walt was responsible for Song of the South (enough said), a pirate chasing after an underage girl, a fat lady chasing a pirate, and a mouse that often abused animals in his early films.

Here is where Disney has gone a little crazy:

Did you know Indiana Jones fought the Red Cross? If you don’t know what I am talking about look at the plane in the Indiana Jones stunt show at DHS. The plane has red crosses on it. The symbol looks like the American Red Cross logo. I don’t know when this changed but it’s been in the last ten years. I have a picture of that same plane with a swastika on it. You’re portraying the Nazis as bad guys. I think it’s ok to blow up a plane with a swastika on it. I actually think that’s better than blowing up a plane owned by the American Red Cross.

Splash Mountain: So it’s less offensive to have a fat frog imitate the African American that originally narrated the story than the actual African American? Ok Uncle Remus was a racist character (not the character but the way he was portrayed) so replace him with another character from the film not a fat frog that sounds like him. In some ways that’s more offensive.

Snow White and the Seven Little People. That sounds funny but I’ve seen stuff online that suggests that a discussion like that took place. Even beyond that a discussion occurred about whether Dopey should be seen in the parks and if his mine carts should be removed from the ride. Excuse me! Most kids don’t know what "dopey" is. No one has used that term in 20 years. It’s not like he’s named retard, stupid, or nitwit. Although nitwit might be ok. I think that’s another term that’s dropped out of the American vocabulary.

Donald Duck – America’s Favorite Nudist. Disney has discussed putting pants on Donald Duck. I’ll give you a minute to stop laughing. How insane is that? Did someone forget he’s a duck? The fact that his wardrobe was more of consideration than his speech impediment fries my noodle.