Dining Review: Princess Storybook Dining

I'm not a fan the whole princess fad.  Then again I think it would be disturbing if I was.  A guy in his 30's who loves the princesses is just creepy.

So why did I go to the Princess Storybook Dining in Norway?  For a couple reasons.  This is a very popular breakfast, a lot of people who are considering a Disney vacation and have young children might want some info on this,  and I didn't go alone I brought my wife and 21 year old niece.

Since this is a character breakfast and has a fixed price I'll cover this one a little differently than usual.

First - What do you get?

You get a photo of you and your party taken with one of the princesses.  The price of the photo is included in the price. You also get a half buffet style meal which consists mainly of generic breakfast food items.  The last thing is the interaction with the princesses.

Now I say it's a half buffet because the hot food items are delivered to your table family style while the rest of the food is available at a buffet.  Like the other Disney buffets you also get juice or coffee.

Next - The food

The food is really generic.  If you have been to one Disney breakfast buffet you have been to this one.  The typical bacon, eggs, Mickey waffles, and pancakes are here.  The only exception to the norm, and the only Norway connection I could find, was the fish offering.  To be honest if you just want breakfast DO NOT GO HERE.  The food is not worth the money.

The Atmosphere

The atmosphere is ok.  It's nothing special.  There are some nice wood accents and some fireplaces that are not accentually burning wood.  Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with the atmosphere.  I guess the best way to put is that it's a normal Disney atmosphere.  It's not boring but it's not top notch like the San Angel Inn.

The Princesses

The princesses are decent.  I really tried to put aside my feelings about the Princesses and try to think about how a kid would react to their interaction.  What they typically do is approach the table, refer to all of the girls (and women) at the table as fellow princesses, and they might refer to some of the men at the table as kings or princes.   Keep in mind all of the princesses are totally in character so Ariel will mention having her legs instead of a tail, Aurora might mention being woken up with a kiss, and Snow White might talk about the the seven dwarfs.  While this is nice they really do not do anything that really makes them stand out.  None of the princes really went above and beyond while we were there.

I will say one thing.  One would think that Disney would almost have their choice when it came picking their princesses.  It seems like there should be enough people who want to be princesses to really be selective.  Now don't get me wrong, all of the princesses were nice and tried to stay in character.  However,  I could understand why a prince would fight for the Cinderella and Ariel that came to our table.  However if Snow White or Aurora had to rely on their looks alone to get their princes to wake them up....they might have had to wait quite a while.   I'm not saying they were ugly but they were not what I'd call a princess.

To be honest the Aurora that came to our table looked a little psychotic.  I thought at any minute she could lose it and start stabbing people.  The Snow White looked like she just woke up in an ally and Disney stuffed her into a princess outfit and tossed her out there.

You might have noticed that I didn't mention Belle.  That's because she was being used for the formal photos that Disney was taking.  There was a reason for this.  The lady playing Belle was extremely nice and stunningly beautiful.  She was a near perfect Belle.  You will not see a photo of her because Disney technically owns the rights to that photo and also because I'm in it and there is not a single photo of me anywhere online.

The Service

There really isn't much to mention here.  It's typical buffet style service.  Our server was nice.  I actually felt bad for her.  It can't be easy to work somewhere like this.  The price is basically fixed and you are not the center of attention.  It's almost like no matter what you are going to get what you get and nothing more.

The Value

If your children are REALLY into the princesses then you might find this experience to be a good value.  If you or your children are not into the princesses then you're better off skipping this because it's insanely expensive for a breakfast never mind a buffet breakfast.

Disney Announces Plan to Get Boys into Fantasy Land

A few weeks ago it was announced that the Fantasy Land Expansion was being adjusted so boys would be attracted to the land and not just little girls who love princesses. At the time it was not announced what would be introduced to accomplish this feat but some details have started to leak out.

According to an unnamed inside source (Dopey Dwarf), a new stall is being built inside fantasy land. The new stall will rent paint ball equipment. Each paint ball gun will come with a laser scope, score card, camera mounted helmet / face shield.

The score cards have a list of bounties to be collected. Anyone who racks up 1000 points worth of bounties receives a special prize. All of the bounties are Fantasy Land related. Here are some of the bounties:

Shoot anyone dressed as Cinderella: 50 points

Shoot anyone dressed as Belle: 50 points

Shoot anyone dressed as Jasmine: 50 points

Shoot anyone dressed as Ariel: 50 points

Shoot anyone dressed as Aurora: 50 points

Shoot anyone dressed as Tiana: 50 points

Shoot anyone dressed as Snow White: 50 points

Shoot any adult dressed as a princess: 100 points

Shoot Belle in the backside: 200 points

Shoot Cinderella in the glass slipper: 500 points

Shoot the tiara off any princess: 300 points

Shoot two different princesses in less than 10 seconds: 200 points

Shoot Peter Pan: 100 points

Shoot Tinker Belle: 100 points

Shoot any member of the 100 Acre Wood: 100 points

Shoot the tail off Eyeore: 500 points

Shoot any princess while they are posing for a picture: 200 points.

The camera mounted on the helmet is activated each time you pull the trigger to capture evidence of your bounties so no one can cheat.

The booth is expected to be a big hit. Rentals start at $50 for the basic package and go up to $300. The $300 package also includes a tee shirt you can take home and a DVD of your exploits.

The booth should be up and running when the rest of the Fantasy Land Expansion opens.

I Took the Wrong Right

On my last trip I went on my favorite ride, Splash Mountain. At the end, after seeing and hearing all that water, I really had to pee. Unknowingly I walked right past the bathroom and into the gift shop. I knew there was a bathroom close by so I asked a cast member where it was. She smiled and pointed in a direction and said it was on the right. I thought she was pointing towards a door at the end of the gift shop so I headed in that direction.

I went through the door and saw another door on my right. I figured this must be the door to the bathroom the cast member was talking about. I went through that door and found a flight of stairs. I thought this was odd. That didn’t seem very handicap accessible and there were no decorations anywhere. It was just concrete and florescent lights everywhere I looked.

I didn’t think too long about it because I really had to pee. I went down the stairs and through another door which opened into a hallway. The hallway ended to my left so I went right. The first door had a sign on it that said “Cryogenics.” I looked through the window and saw a number of large closed containers. Some of the names caught my attention. Walt Disney, Ted Williams, Andy Warhol, Lassie, Frank Sinatra, CPTN-EO Clone 1, 2, and 3. I’d have spent more time looking at the others but I really had to pee.

I looked through the window on the next door and saw a dozens of the green army men sitting in front of monitors with headsets on. At the end of a room were a couple jail cells. Inside one of them was someone dressed like Goofy, except he was missing the head to his costume. In the other cell was someone who looked like Michael Eisner. I thought that was odd until I looked at the sign on the door - “Security.”

I started to jog down the hall because I thought my bladder was going to burst and I didn’t want to make a mess in front of the army men. I don’t think they would have liked that. I reached the next door. It said “New Cast Member Orientation.” I looked through the window. A number of smiling cast members were lined up and someone dressed like Mickey Mouse was whacking them with a large paddle. After each whack they’d yell out “No matter what I will always smile!”

I quickly moved on. I didn’t want to be mistaken for a new cast member. The next door said “Culinary Development.” I looked through the window I saw a kitchen. On the left hand side of the room Rizzo the Rat and the Rat from Ratatouille were passed out on opposite ends of a card table. Next to each of them was an empty shot glass. In the middle of the table was a half drained bottle of tequila and a pile of cash. In the middle of kitchen Beaker was running around like a mad man. He was covered in flour and tomato sauce. On the stove in front of him was a sauce pan with ten slim jims, water, flour, and jelly beans simmering over a high heat. There was a recipe nearby that said “Yak Stew.” At first I thought “That’s nasty!” but then I remembered the current food at Yak and Yeti and realized it would be an improvement.

I ran onto the next door. On it was a sign that said “Group Therapy.” Inside I saw Ariel, Cinderella, Snow White, Ms. Piggy, and Jasmine. In between them was Professor Honeydew with a steno pad and pen. As I ran on I heard “Eric only wants me to have a fish tail. I keep telling him that it’s really hard to do house work without legs but he’s just belligerent!” “He was such a jerk the other night I threw my slipper at him! Of course it shattered. Now the doctors say he’ll need surgery to get rid of all the scars.” “I keep asking to walk around on his knees and act like he’s short. He just gets upset at me.” “I keep beating up my boyfriend. I can’t help it. I get really angry and karate chop him almost everyday.” “My husband flies way too fast. One of these days he’s going to crash his carpet and seriously hurt himself.”

The next door said “Restroom.” At last I’d found it. Flung the door open and ran inside. The floor was blue granite. The walls were covered with silver and had Mickey Mouse heads made with emeralds. There was a line of golden urinals against one wall. As I ran up to them I noticed that each one had Loony Toons character engraved on the inside. I had my choice. I could relieve myself on Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Yosemite Sam, The Road Runner, or Porky Pig. Porky always annoyed me so it was an easy choice. After I peaked into the stalls, there were golden toilets and toilet paper had the Universal Studios logo emblazed on it. There was no soap at the sinks. Instead you placed your hands over the sink and powered soap with glitter fell out of the ceiling like fairy dust, a brilliant idea to make employees wash their hands. To emphasize the point there was a sign on the door that said “If your hands don’t glitter you’re a disgusting, filthy, Fox Animation lover.”

As I exited the bathroom and started back up the hall I heard someone yell “stop!” I turned around to see the huge muppet from the Muppet Show; the one who comes out looking for the rabbit over at DHS. He had a club in his hand and didn’t look too happy. He told me the army men had spotted me on camera and I’d have to come with him to have my memory erased.

I bolted up the hallway. The massive muppet roared and chased after me. I stopped at the “Group Therapy” door, kicked it open, and yelled “your husbands are right!” All princesses and the pig jumped out of their chairs and charged towards me.

I started running for the exit again. I looked over my shoulder to see the group of rabid princess’s and raging hog crash into the massive muppet. Everyone went down in a pile and Ms. Piggy’s wig flew off (bet you didn’t know she wore a wig).

I made it to the exit, bolted up the stairs, and then calmly walked into the gift shop.
I joined my wife that was waiting for me. She gave me an odd look and asked “Why do you have glitter on your hands?”

Girl Power!

Disney has always tried to have strong female characters in its movies. Generations of girls have grown up watching a plethora of different heroines. There is one place in regards to this that Disney has come up a little short. That place is when you consider video games. Can anyone think of decent video game that included the Disney Heroines?

There is a simple fix for this. It would be revolutionary game that on one has attempted. Take very major Disney Heroine from Snow White to Hannah Montana and put them in a FPS (first person shooter). Each heroine would have their own stage. You have to fight your way through each stage (with the exception of the heroine you chose) by shooting that heroine’s minions. For example in snow white’s stage you’d be fighting your way past her forest friends and the seven dwarfs. At the end of stage you’d take on Snow White herself in a classic boss battle.

As we all know, Disney heroines do not shoot each other with guns. That’s why each boss battle is not done in a FPS format. It will convert into a classic fighting game format that would be like Street Fighter or Tekken.

Another thing that we need to discuss is the fact that this is not going to be a typical shooter. It doesn’t need to be violent and people don’t need to die. If you want that go play something else. There are enough of those games to last you a life time. This would be more tongue and cheek kind of shooter. For example there would be some fun weapons that everyone could use like snow balls, broom sticks, water balloons, and stuff like that. Then each heroine would have her own individual weapon. Cinderella would throw glass slippers, Alice would throw mushrooms, Marry Poppins would have her umbrella, and Minnie would throw her classic hair bows like ninja stars.

I think that would be a fun, although demented game for kids. You’d even get adults playing that. Adding a multi player feature would be fun too. You could add a co-op mode and a vs. mode. You could waste a lot of time on a game like that.