CMDTA on Vacation – Carnival: The Food

One of the biggest features on any cruise is the food.  The food can make or break a cruise.  You need to look no further than my overview of my NCL cruise to see how bad food can get on a cruise ship.  Honestly the food was so bad I was concerned that the standards had plummeted throughout the industry.  Thankfully Carnival has not lowered their standards.

I can’t even compare Carnival to NCL when it comes to food.  It’s just not fair.  Carnival beat NCL in all but two places and those two places are so foolish they are not a factor.

The food on Carnival is very good.  It’s not top notch but it’s consistently great.  The food in the buffet is good for buffet food and they mix it up a lot.  The pizza at the pizza bar is very good.  The self serve ice cream and frozen yogurt is great. The food over all is fresh and well presented. The bread isn’t stale (I have to mention that because of NCL).  The deserts seem like they were made recently and not pulled out of a box (again I have to mention that because of NCL).  The food was hot when it should have been hot and cold when it should have been cold (again…NCL).  The waiters were nice and wanted to do their best to serve you.

It’s hard to imagine food that is cooked on such a massive scale being as good as it is on Carnival.  I say without any doubt that they match Royal Caribbean any day of the week. That’s impressive considering Royal Caribbean is often much more expensive.

Earlier I mentioned that NCL beat Carnival in two areas.  The first area is the coffee.  Carnival has 24hr coffee machines that provide coffee or hot water.  NCL has 24hr machines that do coffee, espresso, and cappuccino.  If you want better coffee on Carnival you have to pay for it.  The second area is the self serve ice cream.  NCL gives you a topping station.  Those are the only two areas.  Like I said they are not a factor at all when comparing the food the two cruise lines offer.

The Beatles and Disney World

When most people think of the Beatles they do not thing of Disney World.  What most people don’t realize is an event involving the Beatles at Disney World that forever impacted music. 

At first you might think I’m nuts.  After all didn’t the Beatles breakup in 1970? Disney World didn’t open until the fall of 1971.  It’s true that the Beatles physically broke up in 1970 but it took five years to iron out the details and take care of some legal disputes.

The truth is John Lennon signed the documents that dissolved the Beatles on December 29, 1974.  He signed the documents at the Polynesian Resort where he was staying while on vacation.

It’s not happy to think about that but it is amazing.  It’s amazing to think that one of the biggest events in the history of the Beatles took place in Disney World. 

CMDTA on Vacation - Carnival Spirit Class Vista Suites

Carnival, like all cruise lines, has a seemingly never ending list of stateroom categories. You start with the basic inside stateroom and go up to the mega suites.  Somewhere near the top but not quite there are the Vista suites. 

Vista suites are only found on the back of the ship.  There are two of them on each floor.  One can be found on the right and the other can be found on the left. The floor print takes up roughly ¼ of the rear of the ship.

This review focuses on the left hand suite (left if you are looking towards the front of the boat).  I have no idea what they call that in ship terms.

When you open the door to a Vista suite you enter a hallway that is about 12 feet long. When you look forward on your left is a work area, mirrors, mini bar, glassware storage, and a love seat. Nothing is really visible on your right until you walk down the hall a little ways.  At the end of the hall is a den area consisting of the aforementioned love seat, a coffee table, storage cabinet, counter, and tube TV. The den also has a number of floor to ceiling windows.

Taking a right out of the den you get another small hallway.  On your left is your door to the balcony, on your left is a door to another room, and straight ahead is the bedroom.  Again on your left are more floor to ceiling windows.

Taking a right out of the hallway puts you in the dressing room?  It’s a room with a big mirror, a bench, and that’s about it.  It’s really an odd room. This room has three doors.  The one on your left goes to the been room (yes there are two doors right next to each other that go to the bedroom.  They are only separated by a wall).  Straight ahead is the bathroom and then there is the one you walked through. 

In the bathroom you will find a decent sized Jacuzzi tub, your standard cruise ship toilet, and a dual sink mirror vanity area. The bathroom is nice but it’s not amazing.  The tub is ok but the Jacuzzi doesn’t have any jets on your back. It’s also not deep enough to be a Jacuzzi tub. If you don’t angle the jets down water could possibly shoot out of the tub.

The bedroom is decent sized.  It has a dual closet, decent sized LCD TV with a counter and chest of drawers below it, two night stands, more windows on your left, a large mirror behind the bed and what is supposed to be a king sized bet.  First of all it’s not a king sized bed.  Its two smaller beds strapped together. If you lay in the middle you can feel the crease.

The balcony is huge. From the door it goes about 15 feet to your left and about that to your right before it curls around the side of the ship. There are two full deck chairs, two normal chairs, and two small tables outside and it doesn’t feel at all cramped.  One feature of this balcony that is great and awful at the same time is its roof.  The back of the Spirit Class ships are slanted.  This means that when you lean on your balcony you easily see down into the balcony on the decks below you.  This also means people can easily see down into yours.  This also means that the privacy dividers between you and the stateroom next to you are not good.  The good thing about this exposure is the fact that you can sun bathe on your balcony for a few hours a day.

The biggest drawback of the exposed balcony is not the lack of privacy.  The biggest drawback occurs when you have an inconsiderate JERK above you.  I’d like to use stronger language but this is a family blog. I’m talking about the people who were in stateroom 7298 on the Carnival Miracle during its cruise out of Ft. Lauderdale that lasted from 11/27/2010 to 12/5/2010.  I hope you read this and realize how rude and inconsiderate you are (get ready for a Pete Warner style rant)

Why were the people in 7298 jerks? Not once, but twice they decided to shake out sandy clothes over the side of their balcony.  Now, if you made it through the first grade, or fell out of a tree if you didn’t go to school (more likely in this case), you know what happens to things when gravity takes over.  They go down.  The first time my wife called out in disbelief and looked up in time to see the person quickly go back into their room.  The second time my wife had just put on sun screen, had a drink on her table, and laid back to relax for a few minutes.  The sand stuck to her like glue. She got it in her hair, mouth, drink and blanket.  This time my wife really went off and caught the person before they could run away.  They said sorry and ran back inside. How selfish and inconsiderate do you have to be?  Wouldn’t your bath tub be a much better place to shake out a blanket?

There was a third / fourth event but we were not outside when they happened.  Based on our experience with the sand we feel strongly that the same party was involved.  Someone tossed out their ash tray on two different occasions.  Not only did this cover our chairs with ash but on one occasion a hot ember landed out our chair and partly melted it (the chairs are plastic).  My wife sat down on two different occasions and ended up with black ash on her clothes but that pales to the idea of a fire starting on our ship because someone has the IQ of a slug.  Stupid isn’t a strong enough term for what that person is. If you relate this story to a chimp, the chimp would shake its head, find the person, and slap them in the face for being so dumb.

If you don’t have ignorant, inconsiderate, pigs above you these are some of the best staterooms you can find.  They are not perfect but they are very nice.  The price is high but when you consider you also get VIP check in and put in one of the first groups off the boat it’s not bad at all.

Keep checking back.  I’ll be posting an in depth video of the stateroom soon.

Epic Mickey – Epic Fail

When I heard about Epic Mickey I was excited.  That feeling only grew as more and more info leaked out about the game.  I couldn’t wait to play it once it arrived.  Boy was I disappointed.

Epic Mickey has a decent story, great location, great design, tons of Disney goodness, but the controls are so dysfunctional it’s barely playable.

The controls are so frustrating my wife stopped playing it after 20 minutes has hasn’t returned to it again.  She didn’t just get frustrated she got mad.  In her own words she said “It’s a great game but the controls just don’t work.”

Since then my wife has been playing “Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit.”  I had to mention that because most people would say a Need for Speed game would have to be more difficult than a Mickey game.  Normally you would be right but not this time.

The big problem with the controls boil down to two areas; The camera, and the response.

The camera is never in the right place. You will find yourself always adjusting the camera.  This gets really annoying when you have a bad guy beating you up.  The camera also becomes fixed in places, which makes it very hard to judge distances.  You’ll find yourself falling and dying often because of this.

The response is a whole different issue.  More times then I could count I’d find Mickey not moving even though I pushing a button or direction.  I’d often find that I had to back up and push the direction again.

If you can ignore the awful controls Epic Mickey is awesome and has a lot of fun mechanics.  It can be so much fun that I’d still give this game a mediocre three out of five if you are a Disney fan. 

Let me explain why I give this three out of five.  If this game had good controls it would be a 5 out of 5 game.  If this game had the same controls and no Disney it would be a 1 out of 5.  Knowing that, my advice would be to rent this game, don’t buy it.

CMDTA on Vacation – Carnival Miracle

The Carnival Miracle was the last Spirit Class ship Carnival built.  It’s been a few years since then but the Miracle is still in decent shape.

Unlike some of the other Carnival Ships the Miracle has a full promenade that can be walked or jogged at anytime. This is always a nice feature and I really don’t like ships that don’t have a full promenade.

One thing the Miracle has in common with all other Carnival ships is its atrium.  The atrium is impressive.  It rises from deck two to above deck ten.  It has the classic glass elevators and the nice bar at the bottom.  At the very top of the atrium you can find Nick and Nora’s Steak House.  I’ll do a separate review for the steak house.

Deck nine is Carnivals Lido deck.  A solid third to one half of the lido deck is the buffet area.  The buffet area is made up of a fresh pizza counter, cuisine of the day counter, salad counter, Asian counter, drink station, grill (dogs, burgers, fries, and so on), deli, and a handful of soft serve ice cream machines.

Beyond the buffet area are two pools and the gym / spa area.  In the very back of the ship there is a bar and the smallest pool I’ve ever seen on a cruise ship.

Beyond the staterooms the rest of the public areas are found on decks two and three.  In rear of both of these floors is the main dining room.  On front end of both of these floors is the Phantom Theater.  In between are a number of clubs, a casino, the atrium, a library, and some bars and sitting areas.

One odd thing; near the entrance of the Phantom Theater is the entrance to the Mad Hatters Ball which is a secondary showroom where they do a lot of karaoke and have some Comedians.  This is odd because the entrance is a stairwell that goes under the Phantom theater and dumps you on deck one. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen this design before.

The Phantom Theater is a classic Carnival theater.  It’s not bad but if you’ve been in other Carnival Theaters it’s nothing to write home about.  Along the sides of the theater there are Phantom masks with glowing red eyes.  I thought the red eyes were tacky and didn’t add much.  On the walls there are paintings depicting scenes from Phantom of the Opera. These are very nice except one of them wasn’t cropped correctly so one of the characters heads was cut off.

One thing that I noticed which I believe is a Carnival policy was the number of bar service and photograph employees. They have always been there but now they solicit you.  In the past the photo employees stood by and waited for people to get their picture taken.  The only exception was when you got on and off the ship.  Now they constantly invite you to stop and take a picture.  It gets old after a while.  They are not pushy and are nice but you get tired of being asked. This hits home when you have to walk by at least five photographers when walking from the dining room to the theater.  I don’t know why they ask.  If you don’t want your picture taken, they are just wasting money because they print a copy of every photo.

The bar service people are the same. In the past they’d walk by and announce “bar service” now they ask everyone if they want a drink.  Doesn’t sound bad but there were a number of times when my wife and I would sit down and we’d be asked by three different people in less than five minutes if we wanted a drink.  It just gets old.

The dining room on the Miracle is nice.  It’s themed after the Greek god of wine.  The only real way you can tell is from all of the purple lights that are designed to look like bunches of grapes.  Beyond that it’s a standard Carnival dining room. 

Taking all aspects into consideration the Carnival Miracle blows the NCL Pearl and Jewel out of the water.  It’s not even fair to compare them.  I can’t think of one way the NCL ships are better than the Miracle. In fact every Carnival ship I’ve ever been on is better than the NCL ships.  I’ll go into some finer details later.

CMDTA on Vacation – Carnival VIP Check In

I recently spent 8 days on the Carnival Miracle. After my last cruise I was prepared for the worst. After all, NCL helped me to define what a terrible vacation is.

For the first time we got to try out Carnival’s VIP check in. Anyone who has cruised with Carnival 10 or more times or booked a qualifying stateroom gets to use the VIP check in. So how did it work?

I showed up at the port around 11:15am on the day of departure. We went in the separate entrance reserved for the VIP check in. Right off the bat we passed dozens of people who were waiting in the regular line. Next went through a separate security screen which was amazingly fast. After that we dealt with our first employee. We didn’t have to wait at all. She processed us and sent us up the escalator.

At the top of the escalator we went to another separate VIP check in area. Again there was no line. An employee gave us our stateroom cards, took our info and had us on our way in less than five minutes. She also informed us that they were already boarding VIPs. We followed the signs to board the ship and passed a few hundred people who were using the standard check in.

By 11:30 we were on the ship. I’ve never even come close to that timeframe on any other cruise I’ve been on. To be honest getting on the ship could not have been easier.

If you have the chance to use the VIP check in on Carnival, use it. It’s awesome.

400 Posts - Somone Must Have Lost a Bet by Now

Somehow I made it to 400 posts.  I think I’ll adopt the slogan “I succeed despite my best efforts.”

In the last 100 posts I rolled out a number of photos, videos, and accidently my two of my most popular posts ever.  I don’t know why or how it happened but someone running another Disney site that people actually visit linked to one of my posts about a new fake marathon.  Sadly most of the people hitting my blog had no idea what they were in for. No one complained but I’m guessing a lot of people were not pleased. The other post drew people because they thought it might be true.  COME ONE PEOPLE! Did you really think Disney was going to off Light Cycle rentals in it's parks?

Those people are the first group I’ll apologize to. If you’ve never read one of my round up posts, I don’t thank people anymore I apologize to them for mentioning them on the worst Disney blog on the net.

Here are the others I’d like to apologize to:

Mr. Potato Head – It wasn’t even a good photo but I posted it anyways.

The Power Rangers – Even though I really don’t like you I know I kicked you while you guys were down.

Father from the Carousel of Progress – You were the brunt of one of my meanest posts ever.

Anyone who works at any Disney Resort – I’m sure you don’t appreciate the fake nicknames.

Michael Eisner

People Who Like Mission Space

The Yeti

Kodak – I would have run for the hills too.

Donald Duck – I know your not an insane terrorist.

Len Testa – I must have made fun of you at some point in the last 100 posts.  If not I’m really losing my edge.

Lou Mongello – For stealing your idea for a restaurant.

Now without any further shenanigans here are the last 100 posts.  It might not look like it but all of the titles are linked to the posts.

Post #301

Photo of the Week – Mr. Potato Head

A photo of the best audio animatronic in Disney World

Post #302

New Video – Illuminations

The classic fireworks show from a secret location.

Post #303

Review: The Legendary Chef Mickey’s

My review of the much beloved dining location

Post #304

Stuck on the Tower

A true story about what happens when things go wrong on the tower of terror.

Post #305

Photo of the Week: Soarin

A decent photo of the neon Soarin sign.

Post #306

San Angel Inn: One Hit Wonder?

My second review of the San Angel Inn.  You also find out why I always go to this restaurant when in Disney World.

Post #307

The Power Rangers Get Flushed!

I celebrate the announcement that the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers got dropped by Disney.

Post #308

Review: Big River Grille and Brewing Works

Want to read a review about a bad restaurant?  Well here you go.

Post #309

Photo of the week: Most Wanted

I explain in this post when Disney has some of the best queues anywhere.

Post #310

Review: Raglan Road Irish Pub and Restaurant

My review of the Downtown Disney eatery.

Post #311

The Princess and the Frog – There's 90 Minutes of My Life I Can't Get Back

I explain why the Princess and the Frog is one of the worst Disney movies ever.

Post #312

Mickey’s MMA Festival 2010

It’s been a while since I did a truly demented post.  It was long over due.

Post #313

Photo of the Week – Tree of Life Animals

A photo of some of the harder to see animals on the tree of life.

Post #314

CMDTA on His Own: The Hall of Presidents

My review of the Hall of Presidents.  I got to do it without my wife.  Which means I didn’t have to listen to someone complain.

Post #315

Photo of the Week: Cake Castle

A photo of Cinderella’s Castle during the 25^th anniversary celebration.

Post #316

Bad Backs and Disney World

An overview of the good, the bad, and the ugly rides when you have a bad back.

Post #317

The Cast Member Who Threw Me Under the Bus

A true story about how a well meaning cast member can put you in the dog house.

Post #318

CMDTA on His Own: Swiss Family Tree House

Lets go hang out in a giant tree house! Oh joy!

Post #319

Giving Pooh Another Shot

I ride Pooh again.  I guess I’m a slow learner.

Post #320

Photo of the Week – Hall of Presidents - Insane Boots

A photo of the dumbest cowboy boots you’ve ever seen.

Post #321

Disney Takes Action Against Stinky Guests

A fake news story about the Splash Mountain redesign.

Post #322

Photo of the Week - It’s Not a Monkey!

A photo proving that Disney hasn’t abandoned educational attractions.

Post #323

Endeavor – Disney Pirate Lair

My plan to ruin Golden Oaks.  This post was inspired by Elizabeth Barrett’s Facebook post.

Post #324

CMDTA on His Own: The Tiki Room Under New Management

My review of the Tiki Room.  It makes me sad.

Post #325

The Tomorrow Land Transit Authority – Old vs. New

I compare the two versions and explain which I like better.

Post #326

CMDTA on His Own:  Reflections of China

I do a review of the boring, misguided movie in China.

Post #327

Photo of the Week – Illuminations

A nice photo of the Illuminations show in Epcot.

Post #328

Disney Helps People Who Fail the “Three Click” Test

A fake news story about Universal turning fat people away and Disney helping them out.

Post #329

CMDTA on His Own: Magic Kingdom Extra Magic Hours

I do a comparison of the morning and evening extra magic hours.  Beyond time there is a huge difference.

Post #330

I Bought Another Hat

I explain why I bought another hat when I don’t wear hats.

Post #331

Growing Up Disney

I describe a new YouTube video that covers one family over 25 years of Disney vacations.

Post #332

Father Quits the Carousel of Progress

A fake news story about one of the animatronics resigning from the Carousel of Progress.

Post #333

2010 Disney Montage

A new YouTube video that only took me six months to get to.

Post #334

The Grumpiest Job in the World

True stories about some of the grumpiest people in Disney World.

Post #335

Why the Magic Kingdom is Dry

I explain the real reason why the Magic Kingdom is dry in this post.

Post #336

The Most Neglected Park

I expose what the most neglected park is and explain why it qualifies as the most neglected park.

Post #337

Grand Theft Mickey

My idea for an amazing Disney video game that will never happen.

Post #338

Donkey of the Decade Award

A fake news story about a Disney Donkey being decorated.

Post #339

The Resort Rivalry – Part One: The Value Resorts

The first round of the Resort Rivalry series.

Post #340

Photo of the Week – Moon Over World Showcase

A nice photo of World Showcase just before Illuminations begins

Post #341

The Man Who Was Vilified

An honest look at Michael Eisner’s Impact on the Disney Company

Post #342

Another Ride I Want to See Gone!

A rant about one of the worst rides in Epcot – Mission Space

Post #343

Disney Announces the Yeti’s Actual Status

A fun fake news story about the status of Jose the Yeti

Post #344

Photo of the Week – Frontier Land at Night

A great nighttime photo taken in Frontier Land

Post #345

Time for another Reboot

I do an overview of things that should be made into movies and movies that should be remade.

Post #346

Bongo Did It!

I explain why Disney raises their ticket prices every year in this post.

Post #347

Photo of the Week: Burt and Mary

A photo of Burt and Mary in a parade.

Post #348

The Resort Rivalry – Part Two: The Moderate Resorts

Part two of the fake cast member rivalry.  This one is full of insults that can be used to offend numerous cast members.

Post #349

Disney Announces Plan to Get Boys into Fantasy Land

A fake news story about how Disney plans to attract boys to the new Fantasy Land Expansion.

Post #350

Photo of the Week – Hoop Dee Doo Review

A Decent photo from the Hoop Dee Doo Review

Post #351

Monkeys Invade the Swiss Family Tree House

A fake news story about monkeys invading the Swiss Family Tree House

Post #352

Don’t Chew Dynamite

A fake interview with a Disney spokesman about the dynamite chewing goat on Big Thunder Mountain

Post #353

Back in the World

I officially announce my next trip to Disney World.

Post #354

The Resort Rivalry – Part Three: The Deluxe Resorts

The last of the resort rivalry series.

Post #355

Attraction Review:  The Circle of Life

I review one of the worst attractions in Disney World!

Post #356

Photo of the Week: Bitter Sweet

A photo of Jim Henson’s imprint in front of the Great Movie Ride. 

Post #357

Lou Mongello’s Best Idea EVER!

I give props to Mongello.  Please do not send hatemail.

Post #358

Photo of the Week: Spaceship Earth in the Morning

A decent photo of Spaceship Earth in the Morning

Post #359

I’m Not Abused…I Went to Disney World

An overview of the places to injure yourself in Disney World.

Post #360

Carnival’s Nasty Little Policy

I expose something that Carnival likes to keep hidden.

Post #361

Was Walt a Racist

My overview of the rumors people spread about Walt Disney and how true they are.

Post #362

Photo of the Week: Hollywood Hotel

A decent photo of the inside of the Tower of Terror lobby.

Post #363

State of New Hampshire Post Weather Advisory for October 2011

A dire prediction of horrid weather on it’s way.

Post #364

Kodak Flees the Scene

My overview of Kodak ending their sponsorship of the Imagination Pavilion.

Post #365

Lay Off the Google!

I provide a list of people who are addicted to google.

Post #366

Donald Duck Involved in Armed Stand Off

A fake news story about Donald Duck going nuts.

Post #367

20 Signs You Might Be Obsessed

A list you can use to know when you’ve gone nanners.

Post #368

The Dumbest Design in Disney World

I explain where to find a big design flaw in Disney World.   I also explain why it’s a flaw.

Post #369

Photo of the Week – Fish Frenzy

A cool photo from the seas pavilion.

Post #370

The Disney Vacation Rules of Etiquette

A list of 20 must follow rules while in Disney World.

Post #371

Disney Announces New Killer Marathon

The announcement of a new brutal marathon and of course it’s fake.

Post #372

Photo of the Week: Big Thunder Mountain Panoramic Shot

An old school photo taken with an old school camera.

Post #373

Getting the Most Out of the Dining Plan

Some tips and tricks for getting the most out of the dining plan.

Post #374

Blog Updates

I go over recent updates to the blog in general.

Post #375

People Actually Like Deeks

I explain why it’s an honor to be a deek.

Post #376

CMDTA’s Photo Tips for the Average Joe

I give some simple advice for people who want to take better photos

Post #377

Failed Disney Slogans

A list of fake Disney Slogans that never saw the light of day.

Post #378

Photo of the Week: Grim Grinning Ghosts

A half decent photo taken in one of the darkest parts of the Haunted Mansion

Post #379

You Won’t Find Boobies Here…At Least Not the Ones You’re Looking For
You just have to read this one.

Post #380

Disney Announces New Crowd Control Method

A crazy post about using shrinking rays to fit more people onto rides.

Post #381

CMDTA’s Best Movies of All Time

My top ten list of the best movies of all time.

Post # 382

Photo of the Week – Illuminations

I show a decent fireworks photo and explain how you can take it.

Post #383

CMDTA’s Worst Movies of All Time

I do my top ten worst movies list.

Post #384

CMDTA’s Photo Tips for the Average Joe Part Two

In this part of photo tips I explain the different settings on the average camera and when to use some of them.

Post #385

Disney Announces New Promotion!

A joke news story about a new promotion where you can help build Disney World.

Post #386

Disney to Offer Light Cycle Rentals

A fake news story about Disney trying to milk as much money as possible out of Tron Legacy.

Post #387

Disney Cans Food and Wine in Disney Land for 2011 and 2012

My announcement and reaction to Disney shutting down the Food and Wine Festival in Disney Land for two years.

Post #388

Toy Story 3 Review

I finally watch Toy Story 3 and give everyone my two cents.

Post #389

Photo of the Week: Illuminations Setting #2

A photo of Illuminations taken with a Fireworks setting.

Post #390

Disney to Ban Ugly People from Its Parks During 2011

A fake news story about Disney banning ugly people from their parks because of their new promotion.

Post #391

Carnival = Poor Conflict Resolution

I explain why Carnival has some of the worst customer service in the cruise industry in this post.

Post #392

How Did They Do It – Disney Fireworks

I explain how Disney fireworks are different from normal fireworks displays.

Post #393

The Hidden Pain of On Ride Photos

I explain why an on-ride photo can be a painful experience for some people.

Post #394

Why Some Disney Movies Flop

I explain why some Disney films die before they even hit the screens in this post.

Post #395

Photo of the Week – Mickey and Minnie

A Photo of the topiary versions of Mickey and Minnie at night with Cinderella’s Castle in the background.

Post #396

What Gets You Out of Bed?

I tell what Disney song gets me out of bed.

Post #397

Upcoming Vacation Topics

It’s what you think.  A list of upcoming topics with some good old fashion NCL bashing.

Post #398

CMDTA on Vacation - Why Flying Sucks

In the return of the CMDTA series I explain why flying is just awful.

Post #399

CMDTA on Vacation – Pre-Cruise Hotel

I relate the my experience with one of  the worst shuttle services EVER!

If you missed the past group lists -  here they are:

100 Posts - What a Fun but Colossal Waste of Time!

200 Posts – The Men With the Nets Haven’t Caught Me Yet!

300 Posts – Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid

CMDTA on Vacation – Pre-Cruise Hotel

One thing I always try to do is fly out late and stay in a hotel at my destination the day before my vacation officially begins. I find that by doing this I don’t have to get up at some insane time in the morning to catch a plane and I also have a much more relaxed and enjoyable first day.

My wife and I flew down to Ft. Lauderdale, collected our bags and called our hotel, Candlewood Suites. The girl who answered the phone, told us where to go, and said the shuttle would be there shortly.

Everything seemed great. After all this was why we booked this hotel. They offered a free shuttle from the airport and to the port the next morning. Sadly things are not always as they seem.

After waiting over 20 minutes we called the hotel again. The driver said he already went by the stop we were at. I guess the girl at the hotel knew he wasn’t telling the truth because she chewed his head off (we could hear this because she was paging him while we were on the phone). Ah, there is nothing like conflict after flying.
The driver showed up in less than three minutes. I guess the butt-whooping the girl at the hotel gave him worked. The van was decent but we quickly realized that it wasn’t owned by Candlewood Suite’s; it was owned by a group of hotels. This comes into play later.

We got to our hotel in a few minutes and got checked in. Our room was great. It was large, had a stove, a full sized fridge, and a microwave. The only drawback was the internet connection. The Ethernet cable was busted. It didn’t clip in so it could easily fall out of your network port. Once you got online it asked for a user name and password. There was no info in your room. You had to call the front desk. I didn’t bother. I just used my phone instead.
The hotel offered a free shuttle to a restaurant down the road so we decided to check it out. The “restaurant” was actually a restaurant in another hotel owned by the same people. Getting there was no problem unlike getting to our hotel from the airport. The food was ok. It was a typical hotel restaurant. However, they gave us a coupon for a free drink or appetizer. We thought it applied to one person. They applied to both of us. We got two free drinks. The final bill for two drinks and two meals was around $35 which wasn’t bad at all.
We went back to the entrance and told the man behind the desk that we needed the shuttle to get back to our hotel. He said he’d call them and told us to wait in a sitting area. 20 minutes later I went back to the desk to find out what was wrong. The first guy was gone and the second had no clue what I was talking about. At this point it was 11:30 at night and I was getting tired. Not a fun time to find out they forgot about you. The guy scrambled and dug someone up to drive us back to our room.
The next morning we get checked out and were told to go over to the next hotel to wait for the shuttle to the port because they shared one. A few people were already waiting but there was no line or any organization of any kind. The first shuttle was supposed to show up at 10:30. By then a mass of people from both hotels has grouped together. 10:30 came and went. At 10:50 the shuttle showed up. To no ones surprise it wasn’t big enough to fit everyone. Since there was no line or any kind of organization everyone stormed the van. It was a total mess. Thankfully a second van pulled up and everyone who was left packed onto it.
I want to let everyone know at this point that Candlewood Suites was an ok hotel that doesn’t have a restaurant. The third party shuttle service is awful. Actually “awful” is not a strong enough word. They are totally unreliable and dysfunctional. They only way they could have been worse were if they had crashed the van. They were not pleasant either and on two occasions they decided to make personal phone calls while driving us around.
My advice would be to book a hotel you know is close to the port and use taxis. The combined $30 that would have cost us would have been more than worth dealing with the awful shuttle service.

CMDTA on Vactaion - Why Flying Stinks

Unless you have a few extra days to burn or your vacation is a classic road trip, odds are you are going to be flying on your next vacation.

Flying is one of those odd things that breaks every rule in the book.  The airlines and the TSA have combined to create the most unfriendly and annoying industry in the world.

Think about what you go through when flying.  First they tell you to get to the airport two hours before your flight. Now compare that to your other options. If you take the bus you show up about 20 minutes before it's time to leave.  A train maybe 30 minutes.  Why the difference?  Buses and trains play the odds. The airlines don't

Ok so you arrive at the airport.  If you want an actual person to check you in or you couldn't check in on-line or at a kiosk you have to wait in a line full of doing their best imitation of Grumpy Dwarf.  The big difference is, unlike Grumpy these people always try to talk to you.  They don't want to have a nice conversation or chit chat about your destination.  These people want to let you know how bad things are.  They want to complain and since you have to be in that line you can't get away.

The person you face at the end of the line is a total mixed bag.  If you catch someone at the beginning of their shift you'll find someone trying to look out of one eye or someone who actually things they are going to have a good day.   If you catch someone who has been working for a few hours you get someone who is crushed and has been reminded that half the people they have to deal with all day long are stressed out maniacs who want someone to yell at.  Most of the time the person has been so abused over their career that they are about as friendly as a hung over Eyeore.

Next comes everyones favorite joke - security.  You wait in a line longer than most Disney World queue lines but instead of a fun attraction you get to take your shoes and belt off, empty your pockets, play with plastic bins, and meet someone who hates his job so much he hasn't smiled in years.

On top of that you might get to stand in a scanner or get a lovely pat down!

You might ask why this is a joke.  Most airplanes hold 150 passengers. That's a little more than a full bus and a little less than a train.  No matter how you look at it all three can be considered a weapon if someone took them over or blew them up.

If you want security do it like Disney does.  It would be far less intrusive, far more effective, and much faster.

After you make it through security you get to one of the most annoying parts of flying.  Getting on the plane.  This is annoying because it's a totally broken process.  The best thing you could do would be to setup an actual queue and enforce who gets into it.  Instead people pile up in a group and go bananas when their section is called.  That's assuming they wait until they are called.

You might think that enforcing who gets on when would be slow.  You are wrong.  Just color code the tickets so everyone knows what section of the plane you are sitting in.  Then everyone knows right away if someone is trying to be a jerk.

On the plane you quickly find out who the real jerks are.  They are the ones who have the multiple large carry ons.  This is totally inconsiderate to your fellow travelers.  If you take up twice the space someone else is going to have to check their carry on because of your selfishness.   These are also the people who think the rules don't apply to them and the flight attendants need to tell them multiple times to shut off their phones and electronics.  They also tend to give the flight attendants a dirty look or complain.  After all we know it's the flight attendant's fault right?

Next you finally get to fly.  This is a total mixed bag depending on what airline you use so I won't focus on it.

The next thing you always run into is when it's time to get off the plane.  No matter where people sit on the plane they all need to stand up at once and try and get their carry on out of the overhead. I guess the extra 2.2 seconds that gives them is really important.

Things don't get much better at the baggage claim.  Instead of standing back a little and waiting for the luggage to come everyone piles up and jockey's for position.  They pack it so tight that people can't get their luggage off the belt without clocking someone.

Flying is such a joy.