The Deluxe Dining Plan – My stomach hurts…

The last time I went to Disney I went all out. I hadn’t been in ten years. My wife hadn’t been in longer than that and she had never really done “Disney.” So I went nuts. We booked the atrium in the Contemporary, got the park hoper passes, and bought the Dining Deluxe plan.

In 2008 the Deluxe plan included three sit down meals a day, two snacks, and a resort fillable mug (I'd never pay for it but it's a decent mug). Thankfully I thought things through before I started making my ADRs. First of all how were we going to find time to eat three sit down meals a day? Second, how could be possibly eat that much? Finally, if we do eat that much, is my life insurance paid up?

With those things in mind I knew right away that I did not want to waste that much time just eating or even eat that much. So what do you do? You don’t want to waste your credits. You also don’t want to eat one meal a day at a counter service location so the other plan is out.
We decided to eat one meal a day at a signature dining location. That means that we spent one credit a day on breakfast or lunch and then two credits a day on dinner. We used our snacks for breakfast or lunch. Using this combo, we ate enough to feed a third world country. There were times when we didn’t want to eat anymore. I think I gained ten pounds. I can’t see how anyone could eat a full three sit down meals a day. I’d barf. There would be turkey legs and dole whip all over the place.

Now if you want to try out some of the signature dining locations here are the ones we tried (please forgive the spelling): Citricos, (Grand Floridian) Narcoossee’s (Grand Floridian), California Grill (Contemporary), and Artist Point (Wilderness Lodge). There are other signature dining locations. Some are more popular that others. A couple you have to book as early as possible to get into, those being Cinderella’s Table and Victoria and Albert’s. Dinner shows also count as two credits. In most cases this it’s not cost effective but we did the Hoop Dee Doo Review.

When it comes to signature dining I’m going to predict something. It’s only a matter of time before Le Cellier becomes a “signature dining” location. It’s too popular not too. I will be reviewing all of the signature dining locations we ate at in upcoming posts. I’ll also be reviewing the regular sit down locations too. Some were good , some were mediocre, and some were Yak and Yeti which you already know about.

Rides You Will Never See

Synergy – If you don’t know what that is, it’s when Disney mashes stuff together, often with mixed results, in an effort make more money. For example because of Synergy we have rides inspired by Aladdin, Dumbo, Snow White, Peter Pan, Winnie the Pooh, and so on. We also have a case where Pirates inspired one good movie, a mediocre but entertaining movie, and one festering pile of cow dung of a movie. In turn the movies inspired the ride which got an overhaul. All of this was done to make more money!

I thought I’d come up with movies you’ll never see turned into rides at any Disney theme park:

Signs the Ride: This could only be a dark ride like the Haunted Mansion. You could have scenes for the car accident, the first crop circles, his brother in the closet watching TV, when he looks out the window and sees the silhouette, the aliens trying to break into the house, the arm coming out of the grate in the basement, and his brother swinging away. Now that I think of it, I’d love to see this ride.

The Many Adventures of Peewee Herman: This would be a dark ride with bright colors and all the characters from Peewee’s Playhouse. It would have scenes from Peewee’s Big Adventure and his little red bike too. Near the end would be an unshaven Peewee behind bars. The final scene would be Peewee doing the voiceover for Star Tours. See it has a happy ending.

The Wrath of Santana: This would be a roller coaster that rolls it way through the Alamo as Santana’s army is attacking. There would be an animatronic of Davy Crockett and falls down as you go by. There would also be all sorts of pyrotechnics throughout the ride and it would finish like Dinosaur does with a big blast of wind at your back.

Rocking Roller Coaster Featuring Buddy Holly: It would be just like the Aerosmith version but you get into a plane instead of a limo. You’d still do all the inversions and everything. Swap out the street signs for clouds and stuff. At the end you’d blow through a fake wall that looks like the ground. You could also bring back the end of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride for the exit. If you don’t want Buddy Holly you could make it the Country Roller Coaster Featuring John Denver.

HOLY POO FLINGING MONKEYS! It’s Dark Wing Duck!

When I was young the best part about going to Disney World was seeing the characters. I had the autograph book and was always on the hunt for characters I didn’t have. There is nothing wrong with that. I think most kids do that. In time you leave the autograph book at home and might get a picture or two with a character. Some people however never grow out of the character hunt period of their life. If you see a character in a park, chances are there is an adult who has a rather unhealthy obsession lurking nearby.

When it comes to characters there are some things I can and cannot do. First of all I can’t go near a face character (aka no mask). The reason for this is simple. I step out of my shoes and look at all angles. One – most face characters are attractive woman. Two – you have to be close to get a picture taken. See the problem? You normally put your arm around a character when you have your picture taken. I’d feel like a total pervert doing that with an attractive woman I didn’t know. Even though they get used to it, I bet they feel the same way. On the flip side if you stood a couple of feet away that would be even more uncomfortable because then you’d end up with an awkward photo your friends could laugh at for years.

I’d really like to know the shelf life of a face character. I bet it’s not long. I bet most of them quit or get fired. How many times can you get groped naughty kids or sketchy adults before you go bonkers and start hitting people? When you think about it, how many sweaty (or stinky for that matter) people do you have to hug before you just want to blow chunks all over the place?

The only face character that you could get me to take a picture with is Mary Poppins. Not just any Mary Poppins. It has to be the rare one. You always see Mary Poppins in the white dress with the big hat. To me that’s not Mary Poppins. Where is the Mary with the black outfit and the umbrella that’s not a sun shade? The one you see through out the movie? That’s the one I’ll take a picture with. Before you start laughing and say I have a Mary Poppins fetish, I should explain that Mary Poppins was my favorite Disney movie when I was a kid.

Normal characters are a little different. Because they have that big old mask on it’s not as creepy. Ok so maybe to some people it’s ten times as creepy but the fact is I don’t feel like a pervert getting my picture taken with them. Although for all I know the Burping Troll of Walmart could be hiding in that suit. Fact of the matter is, you don’t know. I wonder if they found a really short person or use a child for the small characters like Donald. If that’s true, image who they find to be Sully. Do the Disney HR people go around looking for freaks? Do they put out ads that say “Looking for fre…cast members! Must be under 5’, or over 6’5” tall. Must like kids and have a…felony free criminal record. Opportunity for advancement to circus performer or movie extra if you last three months.”

There is something funny I’ve found with the normal characters. People collect them, pictures of them that is (at least I hope that’s all they are collecting). There are websites dedicated to finding them. Some are easy to find while others are very rare. Some you can’t find anymore because they have been shelved and long forgotten. Like the character in the photo with this post. Who on Earth is that? I asked everyone in that picture and no one remembers.

For all the hardcore fans who haven’t been able to find Smee and Captain Hook, I can help you out. Every night about thirty minutes before the fireworks in the Magic Kingdom, they appear at the Contemporary. They lead lines of people who paid to go on the fireworks cruises. Just go to the pier at the Contemporary and you see them. Ugh…I fell like I’m feeding someone’s addiction.

The Hall of Presidents, Brought to You by Depends.

Disney loves to get sponsors for its rides, shows, and anything else you could stick a name on. A lot of sponsors have come and go throughout the years. One sponsor recently caught me off guard. Hanes sponsors the Rockin Roller Coaster. When I thought about that I started to laugh. The sad part is Hanes is not using this sponsorship to its full potential. What they need to do is open an under ware stand at the exit of the ride and put a sign above it that says “Replace your soiled undies here!” Come on! It’s a trill ride. They could print “Rockin Roller Coaster Replacement Undies” on all of them. They’d make a killing.

That got me thinking of other missed opportunities. Here are a few I’d like to see:

The Hall of Presidents Sponsored by Depends. This is a natural fit. The people who enjoy this ride the most are Depends target demographic. It’s also a long show. They could sell them at the entrance and exit. That way no one would have to worry about taking a potty break. As Jim Carey put it so eloquently in Dumb and Dumber “Just go man.”

The Mad Tea Party sponsored by Schweppes Ginger Ale. Why not a motion sickness pill maker? Simple, that’s not good business. If you sell the pills to someone who is in line, only so many people will buy them. Motion sickness pills don’t really work after the fact so selling them at the exit isn’t a great idea. However, letting everyone get sick and then selling them ginger ale at an increased price is a sure thing. If your sales start to slip, crank up the ride a notch!

It’s a Small World sponsored by Smith and Wesson. If you think this is an odd match you’re not thinking of it from the business side of things. A majority of the people who are dragged onto this ride are doing so because they have kids or some fruit loop who loves dolls in their group. By the end of the ride guess what kind of mood they’ll be in. A gun buying mood!

The Universe of Energy sponsored by Miracle Ear. This is a perfect fit. This ride is so loud that you’ll need a Miracle Ear by the time it’s over. All you need to do is setup a kiosk at the exit and you’ll make millions.

Swiss Family Tree House sponsored by Kraft. Why Kraft? Simple, today’s kids are dumb. Chances are they don’t know who the Swiss Family Robinson are and if they do they probably don’t know they are called Swiss because they are from Switzerland. I bet 80% of people under 25 think they were called Swiss because they were cheese makers. You might as well profit off of their stupidity.

The California Grill

Every now and then you go somewhere that is just amazing. The California Grill is one of those places. It is now tied with the best dining experience I’ve ever had. It was fantastic.

Following a tip my wife and I asked to sit at the chef’s counter. Most people want to sit by a window so they can see the Magic Kingdom. You can see the magic kingdom some other time. SIT AT THE CHEF’S COUNTER! It’s like being a judge on Iron Chef. All the action is right in front of you. It is open kitchen and the chefs know it. When someone sits at the chef’s counter they take notice. They know their every move is being watched. The chefs are not stupid. To distract you they start giving you freebies! One of the chefs came over and gave us a beat salad on the house. I don’t like beats but it was very good and when it’s free it’s even better.

We were sitting directly in front of the sushi station. The sushi chef couldn’t help but talk to us. We were so close that it would have been very uncomfortable if he didn’t. His boss, the head sushi chef, stepped in when needed a break. She took the opportunity to ask us what sushi we had tried before. She almost looked offended when we said we’d never tried sushi before (give us a break we’re from NH). She took it as a personal challenge to find sushi we’d like (aka more freebies!).

For an appetizer I ordered the triple cheese flat bread with pesto and sundried tomatoes. I could be happy eating that for the rest of my life. I salivate just thinking about it now. It was a WOW dish. For my main course I ordered the filet. You can’t do filet much better than they did. Back to back WOW dishes. For desert I ordered the Valrhona Chocolate Cake and Raspberry. It was great. Not wow but great.

The service was very good. The waiter knew his stuff and was very helpful and offered recommendations with being at all pushy. Because of him my wife tried a couple of things she otherwise wouldn’t have tried. She was more than happy with all of his selections.

The only draw back in regards to the California Grill is that it’s about 1500 miles from my home and I can’t go back once a month. Maybe I can convince Disney to open one in New England. Hey don’t laugh if they could make a buck they’d do it!

We Need to be PC Because It’s PC to be PC

Anyone notice how rabid Disney is about being PC? Over the last 30 years Disney has gone off the deep end. Remember the genius that created Disney? Some guy named Walt? He wasn’t very PC. He was a visionary and an entertainer. Those two things seldom are PC. If you do not know what I am talking about consider this. Walt was responsible for Song of the South (enough said), a pirate chasing after an underage girl, a fat lady chasing a pirate, and a mouse that often abused animals in his early films.

Here is where Disney has gone a little crazy:

Did you know Indiana Jones fought the Red Cross? If you don’t know what I am talking about look at the plane in the Indiana Jones stunt show at DHS. The plane has red crosses on it. The symbol looks like the American Red Cross logo. I don’t know when this changed but it’s been in the last ten years. I have a picture of that same plane with a swastika on it. You’re portraying the Nazis as bad guys. I think it’s ok to blow up a plane with a swastika on it. I actually think that’s better than blowing up a plane owned by the American Red Cross.

Splash Mountain: So it’s less offensive to have a fat frog imitate the African American that originally narrated the story than the actual African American? Ok Uncle Remus was a racist character (not the character but the way he was portrayed) so replace him with another character from the film not a fat frog that sounds like him. In some ways that’s more offensive.

Snow White and the Seven Little People. That sounds funny but I’ve seen stuff online that suggests that a discussion like that took place. Even beyond that a discussion occurred about whether Dopey should be seen in the parks and if his mine carts should be removed from the ride. Excuse me! Most kids don’t know what "dopey" is. No one has used that term in 20 years. It’s not like he’s named retard, stupid, or nitwit. Although nitwit might be ok. I think that’s another term that’s dropped out of the American vocabulary.

Donald Duck – America’s Favorite Nudist. Disney has discussed putting pants on Donald Duck. I’ll give you a minute to stop laughing. How insane is that? Did someone forget he’s a duck? The fact that his wardrobe was more of consideration than his speech impediment fries my noodle.

Yak and YACK and Yeti

On my last trip to Disney World my wife and I used a dinning plan. Because of this we ate at a lot of places we never would have eaten at. One of those places was Yak and Yeti in the Animal Kingdom. A majority of what I had read about this restaurant was positive. For the most part they said it was the best sit down restaurant in the Animal Kingdom. For those of you who don’t know, that is a back handed complement. I think it’s the only sit down restaurant in Animal Kingdom unless you count the rainforest café outside the gate.

As you can tell from the title of this post Yak and Yeti was not an overly pleasant experience. There was some good and there was some bad.

My wife and I both ordered a drink. We both ordered some frozen fruity thing. Mine was some kind of Mango mush. That may sound bad but it was really good. If I remember right it was called a “Yak Attack.” I could have put down a number of them if they hadn’t cost nearly ten dollars a pop. I can’t remember what my wife ordered (maybe the Everest Avalanche) but I know why she picked it. Our waiter described it as having the most alcohol of any drink available inside a Disney World theme park. I don’t know how true that is but at least it tasted good.

For appetizers I got the Pork Pot Stickers. I ordered them pan seared as I hoped this would make them somewhat crispy. I was wrong. They tasted ok buy they were chewy and had an unpleasant consistency. The texture reminded me of soggy celery. My wife ordered the Wok Fried Green Beans. Those were very good. Only problem I had with them was I kept thinking I was at a TGI Fridays. They were the same. I think the chef had eaten their and decided to rip them off.

My main course was the Duck with Anandapur Glaze. It sounded good and I figured for $21.99 (I didn’t pay that I was on a dinning plan) it should be. As I started to eat it the thought occurred to me “Thank God this duck was dead when they started because they KILLED it again!” It was awful. I’d never had duck jerky before. To call this jerky is an insult to jerky. Leather is a more accurate description. I don’t think the meat could have been any tougher. If I had dentures I would have asked the waiter for a side of Fixodent. The stir fried vegetables it came with were tasteless. Overall it was AWFUL!

My wife ordered the baby back ribs. They were good and for the most part tender. The glaze wasn’t bad. There were only two problems. One we had eaten at the Hoop Dee Doo Review the night before. Anyone who has eaten there knows that you will be ruined after eating there. The ribs are the best I’ve ever had. So the ribs at Yak and Yeti just didn’t compare. The second problem is you need a second stomach to finish them. This is an entire order of ribs. We’re talking Fred Flintstone style meat. It would be nice to have had an option of a half rack so you don’t kill yourself trying to finish the $22.99 monstrosity in front of you.

Since we were on the dinning plan we ordered desert. The mango pie was very good although I wouldn’t mix it with a mango drink. There was just too much mango between the two.

The theming of Yak and Yeti was ok and just ok. They put up a bunch of exotic posters and a few statues and called it a day. Compared to other Disney World restaurants it was lacking.

By far Yak and Yeti was the low spot of our vacation when dining is considered. I’d rather eat a real Yak than go back there. I can’t think of any other place that had a worse food item or theming. At least the waiter was nice and attentive.

Rides That Need to Retire

We all have our favorite rides. Some rides that others consider boring we love. Some rides we love are now alive only in our memories. Then there are rides that need to be put out of their misery.

Ride I want to see shutdown:

The Tiki Room Under New Management. The old Tiki Room was kind of boring but I liked. I liked it because I had fond memories of it when I was a kid. Too many people thought the old one was boring so Disney found a way to make it worse. The “new” Tiki Room is about as pleasant as a festering gut pile. What were the Imagineers thinking (or smoking) when they came up with the “improvements?” To fix this ride I suggest that it be shut down, restored to its original form, and moved to the Polynesian Resort. I know that’s not feasible but I like the idea.

Stitch’s Great Escape. Dumb parents who force kids on a scary ride should not be a valid reason for shutting down that ride and replacing it with arguably the most abysmal ride in the history of Disney World. I remember going on The ExtraTERRORisal Alien Encounter when I was 15. I was blown away. I loved it. The technology, the story, the experience, everything about it was amazing. The problem was it was too graphic and too scary to be in the Magic Kingdom. So Disney flushed it down the toilet and replaced it. Everything that was good was replaced with crap. I’ve never met anyone who likes the new Stitch version. To fix this – One: burn everything down so it’s sterilized. Two: Rebuild it from the ground up at DHS and follow the original plans and put the alien from Alien in it.

I’m going to get flack on this one – Winnie the Pooh. This ride stinks. It’s the worst dark ride I’ve been on. Mr. Toads Wide Ride was demolished for this? The artwork is good but not great. The special effects are bland. The ride doesn’t do the story justice. The only reason people like this ride, is because people love Pooh. How to fix: a gallon of gas and a match.

That thing in Mexico. Mexico has such an amazing atmosphere. It’s the most impressive of all of the countries in the world showcase. The original ride was bad. There is no other way to describe it. It stunk. I was glad when I heard they were overhauling it. When I went on the new version I couldn’t help but think “This is it? You overhauled it and this is the result?” It’s better than the original but that like saying the bread is now stale instead of moldy. How to fix: The entire ride needs to match the beginning of the ride. It’s impressive when you float by the pyramid. Gut the rest and start from scratch.

Let the hate mail roll in – Finding Nemo the Musical. I’d like this ride if I was on dugs. This show is just too odd for me to enjoy. I can’t wrap my head around it. Do puppets or do people or have them both but interacting with each other. Why stick someone in a body suit and run around with a giant puppet and then have the person talk to the puppet? I might be splitting hairs but I think this one could be better executed. I also have to pose this question: Why did a nonmusical get converted into a musical when you could have done a Little Mermaid musical? I’m not some sicko who has an Ariel fetish. The Little Mermaid had three songs that actually turned into hits. Go figure. To fix: Do a puppet show. Get the people out of there. Don’t cut corners by having people running around with giant puppets because it’s too expensive to have puppets controlled from above or below.

The Movie in Norway. On second thought don’t replace this one. It’s a riot. I laugh every time I watch this movie. The scene with the guy in front of the computer makes me laugh so hard I nearly pee myself. This has to be the most outdated movie in Disney World. It’s like watching a public service announcement from the 50s. It’s loud as any anything too. This movie will hurt your ears! To fix: Umm…maybe shoot a new movie. What’s worse paying for it yourself because Norway doesn’t want to help foot the bill or continuing to show this joke of a movie?

I think I’ll get the most flack for this one. Astro Orbiter. My reasoning is this, how may of these rides do we need? We have Dumbo, Astro Orbiter, Magic carpet ride, and the Dino ride in Animal Kingdom. We don’t need Astro Orbiter. Dumbo is iconic. You cannot remove it. Astro Orbiter might be iconic but we can do better. How to fix: put a highly themed launch ride in there that shoots people sky high. That way you get the amazing views from up there but have something new and exciting that can move a lot of people in a short period of time.

Tomorrow Land Speedway. This wasn’t really cool when I was ten. How has it lasted so long? It stinks (literally), it’s loud, and it takes up an enormous amount of space. It doesn’t even fit the theming of Tomorrow Land. To fix: Just get rid of it. It’s just not worth keeping.

The Universe of Energy. First of all why isn’t an oil company sponsoring this? You think they’d want to try to improve their public image a little. This ride amazed me when I was a kid. I loved dinosaurs back then. Even the songs that were part of the ride were good even if they were corny. Jump to today. We have the beloved dinosaurs sandwiched by an awful movie which is beyond loud. Even though I love those dinosaurs it’s time to demolish this attraction. To fix: This ride needs an overhaul on the level of the Horizons and World of Motion Pavilions (not that I agree with those but that’s another story). Tear it down and start from scratch.

Journey Into Imagine With Figment. This was my favorite ride when I was eight. I loved figment, the ride was bright and colorful, and it was fun. Anyone who has been on it since the first rehab understands why this in on the list. What has happened to this ride is really sad. This ride is such a waste of space now it’s appalling. To fix: Major Rehab to restore the look and feel of the original ride.

Podcasts

There are a number of Disney podcasts out there. Each one has its own flavor. Some are serious, some are funny, and some just exist. I thought I really stoke the fire and rank them. Not all of them. Just the ones I listen to. If you listen to another podcast not listed let me know and I’ll check it out. Here are the things I take into consideration. Information, Humor, Guest Hosts, Diversity, Community, Cheese and Oddity.

#1 WDW Today

Information Factor 9
Funny Factor 8
Guest Factor 3
Diversity 8
Oddity 8
Community 8
Cheese 5

Four guys – One Girl – One show. I don’t think I’ve seen a combo like this since the five stooges. I say five because there were five people who played the three stooges. I’ll let you figure out who is who. There is no question they cannot answer. There are numerous runny jokes. Some of their topics are ridiculous and they occasionally have a random person join them. The cheese comes from their song. It’s decent but cheesy. MONGELLO!

#2 – This one was VERY close but number two goes to the Magical Definitions podcast.

Information Factor 10+
Funny Factor 4
Guest Factor 1
Diversity 5
Oddity 10
Community 4
Cheese 1

Jim Hill is the reason this one comes in second place. I don’t know where he gets his info. I don’t know if he makes it up or he really has some inside sources. Either way I can’t stop listening when he tells a story. He’s the Josephus of Disney. The format of this podcast odd too, it just seems to happen. A lot of the others have ridged formats this has no real format that I can detect, just two guys talking Disney. They are an odd couple too. I don’t know how these two found each other but it works.

#3 The Dis Unplugged

Information Factor 8
Funny Factor 7
Guest Factor 7
Diversity 10
Oddity 3
Community 10++++
Cheese 3

No podcast has a bigger heart. They know their stuff and they go beyond the parks. They are a strange mix too, a young married couple, a recovering alcoholic who hides nothing, a man who just wants decent meal with his mother in tow, and a total hodgepodge or random people along for the ride. They have a peanut gallery. They often start laughing so hard you think they are going to ruin a Depends. They have a prize thingy (sorry I don’t know the proper spelling of prizeamatron). They also have such a big Disney community around them that you can’t tell where the podcast ends and where the community begins. That was proven with the loss of Bob Varley. Let’s go grab a Dole Whip!

#4 NETCOT

Information Factor 7
Funny Factor 2
Guest Factor 6
Diversity 5
Oddity 3
Community 5
Cheese 9

You may wonder why the cheese factor is so high on this podcast. It’s the outtakes, the music, and the transitions. What really makes this podcast standout are the countdowns. They are great and almost always interesting.

#5 This was very close but it goes to Inside the Magic.

Information Factor 7
Funny Factor 2
Guest Factor 4
Diversity 5
Oddity 3
Community 5
Cheese 7

Ricky does a good job with packing a lot of info into his podcast. Sometimes he runs out and packs a bunch of Disney music in there. I normally don’t enjoy that. Some people love it. If I want Disney music I’ll listen to my iPod or go to wdwradio.com. That’s why his cheese factor is so high. He tries to have a good variety of topics and tries to keep it different.

#6 – The WDW Radio Show

Information Factor 8
Funny Factor 2
Guest Factor 8
Diversity 3
Oddity 3
Community 5
Cheese 4

MONGELLO! The walking Disney Trivial Pursuit pulls this one off on a weekly basis. He has a wide variety of guests and keeps me wondering who he manages to find so many Disney legends on his show. Even his creepy fascination with tiny Lolita and Samantha Brown isn’t enough to scare me away. The music he plays in the background can be distracting at times. Sometimes his show just goes too long and you get bored but overall it’s a great show.

Before anyone starts complaining about who should be where just remember this, if you do anything and come in the top ten, you’re doing an exceptional job.

YEEEAAA!! Oh wait….it’s a parade…

I don’t like parades. I’ve never really liked them. My wife outright hates them. As many of you know the parade is different for each park with Epcot having by far the best parade in my opinion. The next most tolerable parade is the nighttime parade in the Magic Kingdom followed by the day time parade in the Magic Kingdom. Next to last is the parade at Animal Kingdom. Dead last by miles is the abomination known as the “Block Party” at DHS.

Why do I hate parades? Here are a few reasons:

· It’s wall to wall people.

· Even on a cold day in FL is seems about 50 degrees warmer on the parade route.

· If you do not want to watch the parade it’s always going to be between what you want to do and where you are.

· People start staking out their spot about two hours early and defend it with their life.

· They are louder than a 747 taking off.

· There might be one or two interesting things in the parade but you have to suffer through the rest of the parade to see it.

· An alarming number of people do not know what deodorant is.

· The kid next to me will have eaten an entire box of popcorn, suffer heat stroke, and barf it up on my shoes.

As I said before some are worse that others. I find the one at DHS beyond annoying. I got stuck watching that on my last vacation because it was between me and Indiana Jones. I tried to find a way around but there were just too many people in every direction. I already have some hearing loss in my right ear. I never thought I’d be thankful for that until I was stuck watching that parade. I think I’ve managed to block most of it from my permanent memory but I remember people jumping on trampolines, a lot of toy story stuff, and enough noise to liquefy your internal organs. The thought actually entered my head that water boarding might have been more enjoyable.

I know there are a lot of people who enjoy the parade. I know as a kid I liked them. That leads me to believe people who enjoy parades enjoy them because it’s nostalgic for them. I can understand that. I believe that’s one of the reasons why many people go back to Disney year after year. I bet if I had kids I’d understand it more. If you enjoyed them as a child you’d want your child to experience the same thing.

I don’t know why I don’t get nostalgic over parades. I do with almost everything else in Disney. Maybe I just haven’t seen a good parade in a long time. I remember the “15 Years” parade and could still sing parts of the song the song. Could it be that the new parades are just not up to snuff?