Disney Announces Seal Team Six Video Game

Many wondered why Disney bought the copyright to the name "Seal Team Six" after Osama Bin Laden was killed. Well you don't have to wonder anymore.


Disney announced this morning that a new game entitled "Disney Presents: Seal Team Six - Awesome Sauce Death Squad!" The game will feature your favorite Disney characters as they take out some of history’s most villainous people.

The team will be made up of the following characters:

Mickey Mouse – Team leader and all around combat expert.

Goofy – Heavy weapons expert.

Minnie Mouse – Flame thrower expert.

Pluto – The titanium toothed hound.

Donald Duck – Helicopter pilot and stealth eliminations expert.

Dopey Dwarf – Master sniper

Daisy Duck – Hand to hand combat expert.

Snow White – Chain gun expert.
This squad of master killers will take on such enemies as Osama Bin Laden, Mussolini, Hitler, and Justin Beiber.

The battle maps will range from WWII era bunkers to modern day Pakistani Villas.

There will be an exciting multi-player experience offering all of the most popular modes such as death match, capture the flag, and kick Justin Beiber’s butt.

The game is due out for the holiday season on all of the major consoles, Windows, and Mac OSX.

Yes this is a fake new story.  I really doubt you'll get to kill Osama Bin Laden as Mickey Mouse anytime soon.

Toy Story 3 Review

Yes I know, Toy Story 3 came out months ago. I didn’t see it in the theater. It’s a rare day that I actually make it to the movie theater. We have only one within 20 minutes of us and it is ghetto.
Let me start by saying that I was not a fan of Toy Story or Toy Story 2. It’s not that I disliked the movies they just did nothing for me. I think out of all the Pixar movies they are the two weakest.
So what did I think about Toy Story 3?
It’s the best Toy Story movie by a long shot. It’s a very good movie with a great story and a great ending.
I have to say I am happy I did not see this in the theaters. The biggest reason for this is the landfill scene when they are heading towards the blast furnace. This scene shocked me. It was so intense and so dark that for a while I really thought some of the characters were not going to make it. I can only imagine how children would have reacted to this scene. I get the feeling it would be like “Stitch’s Great Escape” or “It’s a Bugs Life.” I can just imagine kids on all sides of you screaming and crying.
There were a few other scenes in this movie that were really tough. One that hits you right away is the pep talk Woody gives. Just knowing that Bo Peep and Sketch, and a number of other toys didn’t make it was rather sad.
On a side note, there was one thing related to this movie that was sad but Pixar couldn’t do much about it. Slinky Dog had a new voice actor. I couldn’t help but see the Slinky Dog and think of Jim Varney who lost his battle with lung cancer in 2000. The new guy did a good job but it just wasn’t the same.
Overall Toy Story 3 was a great movie and worth renting or adding to your Disney collection.

Mickey’s MMA Festival 2010

In a special nonexistent press release it was announced that Mickey’s MMA Festival would be coming back. The fight card will change greatly. However there will be some rematches.

Mickey Mouse vs. The Jonas Brothers – Inspired by an episode of the Comedy Central cartoon South Park, Mickey will be facing off with the dreaded Jonas Brothers.

Professional Opinion: Mickey will wipe the floor with the girly boys. He’s been working out a lot lately to get in shape for Epic Mickey. He also has experience on his side. Expect Mickey to knock out all of the brothers by the forth round.

Princess Battle Royal - This is a rematch with a twist. Cinderella, Aurora, Jasmine, Snow White, Belle, Ariel, and new comer Tania will step into the ring in a no holds bar, electrified steel cage, ladder, table, garbage can, match. The winner will be declared top princess.

Professional Opinion: Look for Cinderella to get off to a great start. Years of fighting with her step sisters has toughened her up. All the manual labor has also given her a strength advantage. Don’t forget about the glass slippers. In a match with no rules they can be used as weapons.

Miley Cyrus vs. Annette Funicello - New school meets old school in this fight. Annette might be old but she’s been around the block a number of times. Miley Cyrus isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer and is going into this fight cocky. She thinks her age advantage will make this a slam dunk.

Professional Opinion: Funicello in the first round. Once Cyrus takes the first punch she’ll crumble.

Disney Bear vs. Liver Lips – In this clash of the titans we’ll see a rare appearance by the Disney Bear when he attempts to take down the Country Bear Jamboree Slugfest winner Liver Lips.

Professional Opinion: Liver Lips in a split decision. Disney Bear will stick it out because he’s afraid of being shelved. Liver Lips will get tired after a few rounds because he’s horribly out of shape. Might as well take a nap after the first few rounds.

Michael Eisner vs. Robert Iger – CEO vs. Former CEO in this amazing fight. This is the fight everyone is talking about.

Professional Opinion: Iger in the third round. Eisner is the better fighter but Iger just sold a ton of stock to get Eisner to throw the fight.

Doggie Match of Doom – The fur is going to fly when Goofy (yes he is a dog), Pluto, Bolt, and Copper (Fox and the Hound) will steep into the ring in the first ever four way fire hydrant match.

Professional Opinion: The biggest underdog, Copper, will win this one. Copper is a basset hound. They only move if food is involved. Copper’s trainer has promised him all the food he can eat if he wins this match. You don’t get between a basset and food.

Carl vs.Wall-E – In what is being called the strangest match Carl of Up fame will be taking on everyone’s favorite robot, Wall-E.

Professional Opinion: Wall-E hands down. Once Carl breaks his cane on Wall-E’s metal head he’ll be defenseless against the enraged robot.

Ursula vs. Maleficent – Love them or hate them this is the match everyone wants to see. These two have been lighting up Twitter with insult after insult and now they are going to settle it in the ring!

Professional Opinion: Ursula will have a big advantage until Maleficent changes into her dragon form and fries Ursula like a big chunk of calamari.

Flik vs. Mary Popins – How did this match come about? The card needed one more fight so the promoters had the computer provide two random names from the Disney archives.

Professional Opinion: Mary Popins in 2.5 seconds. Not only is everyone’s favorite nanny; magical, talented, and undefeated in 29 mixed martial arts fights, she’s out weights her opponent by 120 pounds.

Dorey vs. Flounder – Many people don’t know but these two dated for over a year. They broke up over allegations that Dorey cheated on Flounder. Dorey claims not to remember ever doing such a thing.

Professional Opinion: Flounder in the 10^th. Expect Dorey to keep forgetting she’s in a fight. Flounder might be wimpy but he’s an angry wimp.

The Power Rangers Get Flushed!

When I heard the news that Disney unloaded the rights to the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers, I jumped for joy. I always hated the Power Rangers. They drove me nuts to begin with never mind the fact that Disney bought the rights and stuck them into DHS.

To put it simply the Power Rangers and Disney were like oil and water. They do not belong together. I can’t tell you how much it annoyed me when I’d be walking through DHS and I’d run into the Power Rangers. I guess I’m a purist. I don’t want to go to Disney and see the Power Rangers, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, or any other non-Disney (Pixar is ok but I don’t want to see Marvel either) characters in the parks.

I’d like to go to DHS on August 7^th, 2010 just to celebrate the Power Ranges going away. I won’t though. I can’t afford it and I wouldn’t want to upset the kids who really like the Power Rangers. For those kids I have some good news. Disney sold the rights back to the original owners who turned around and sold the rights to Nickelodeon. You’ll be able to see the Power Rangers there in the near future.

Review: The Crystal Palace

The Crystal Palace is one of the most popular dining locations in the Magic Kingdom. It’s an all you can eat buffet with characters with from the Winnie the Pooh series. Kids love this dining experience, but is it worth the cost?

Food: The food at the Crystal Palace is decent. They have a nice mix of foods. The carved meats and the desserts are what stand out. Everything else is just average. There are a couple of buffet style restaurants in Disney World that are better.

Atmosphere: The Crystal Palace is a beautiful well lit restaurant with lots of windows and has a Victorian style to its decorations. The seating areas are the downfall of the atmosphere. They designed them to cram as many people into as small a space as possible. I didn’t get the same feeling from Tusker House which seemed a little more open. At times getting from my table to the buffet and back was an adventure and somewhat difficult. Because they cram so many people in so small a space it can get really loud inside. Keep that in mind if your kids are volume sensitive. It’s no where near as loud as Kouzzina but it’s still loud.

Entertainment: If you like Pooh and his friends you’ll like the entertainment here. I’m not a big fan of Pooh. The only one I really wanted to see was Eyeore. The ones that were out and about when I was there were: Winnie the Pooh, Eyeore, Tigger, and Piglet. Every so often they do a little show where all the kids follow the characters around while music plays. It can’t be easy to be a character here. Each character needs a handler because things are so cramped they can’t get around without them.

Service: The service is decent. At a buffet you don’t expect much and they lived up to that. However there is one big failure where service is concerned. My wife and I had an ADR. When you have an ADR you know you are not going to get seated right away but you know after a few minutes you’ll get seated. It took the Crystal Palace thirty minutes to seat us. Thirty minutes to seat a party of two. That’s insane.

Cost: The Crystal Palace is very expensive for a buffet, even a character buffet. You will take a serious blow to your wallet while eating here. We went here during lunch which made the cost even more of a shock.

Overall I won’t be going back to the Crystal Palace. It’s too expensive, too crowded, the food doesn’t match the cost and the overall interaction with the characters was better at the Garden Grill.

Review: The Garden Grill

There are a number of character dining locations throughout Disney World. Most don’t really stand out. The castle isn’t worth it, it’s expensive, and it’s crowded. I’ll cover Chef Mickey’s and the Crystal Palace later. I just can’t get up the nerve to do Norway so don’t hold your breath there.

The Garden Grill is different in many ways. The Garden Grill has a lot going for it. It’s build on a giant wheel that slowly rotates and provides an ever changing view. Its location, theme, food, and entertainment put it a notch above other restaurants.

Food: The food is very good. You should know that you do not order food. The Garden Grill is an all you can eat family style restaurant. The first round is bread and salad. The salad is comprised of greens and vegetables that are grown in the Land Pavilion’s own green house. The second course is a trio of meats and sides. Flank steak with mashed potatoes, turkey with stuffing, and fish with some side I can’t remember. The fish is interesting because they farm some of them in the land. All three are very good. Dessert is amazing too. It’s a great berry cobbler. It’s nice, warm, and tasty.

Atmosphere: You don’t get much better than the Garden Grill’s atmosphere. As the restaurant spins you get to see out into the land pavilion, into the rain forest, desert, and farm house scene that are part of the Living With the Land ride. My personal favorite is the farm house scene. You will be amazed by the level of detail Disney put into all of its scenes. The farm house has a window that can only bee seen from the restaurant. The average theme park would put a fake window there considering you can’t really see it from the ride. Not Disney. The window opens up into a decorated room.

Service: The service was very good. We always had enough food and drinks. They also checked in often. Even the manager checked in to make sure everything was good. This was the only restaurant on our trip where a manager did a spot check with us.

Entertainment: Being a character dining location you get some private time with a number of characters. Chip and Dale are the headliners. My wife got confused because she couldn’t tell the difference between Chip and Dale. She thought the same character came twice. Other than Chip and Dale, Mickey and Pluto were on the prowl. Mickey never made it to use while we were there but Pluto did and he was very good. He hammed it up and was the most interactive of all the characters.

The price isn’t crazy when you consider it’s in a theme park, it’s all you can eat, the food, location, and entertainment are all good. This is one of the better restaurants in Disney World. Only a couple of restaurants in Epcot are better than the Garden Grill.

What Not To Do In Disney World

Seems like all we every hear about is what you should do in Disney. What rides are good, what dining locations are good, where to find characters, and so on. I want to mix things up. I thought I'd warn people about things they should avoid at all costs. I will warn you that these items are the result of actual events. I really wish that was a joke...

Don't feel up Minnie Mouse or any other character: Yes you will get removed from the parks but that's not all. The last guy who felt up Minnie Mouse got arrested and convicted.

No touchy, touchy in the wave pools: This should really be common sense. However, it's happened. If it's your spouse or other close person save it for the bedroom. If you don't know the person don't do it. A man was arrested and convicted because he "accidently" touched some people in the wave pool.

Don't punch the characters: Another one that should be common sense. Sadly it has happened. In fact one character punched back. I don't blame him. I think I'd take my head off and beat the guy with it.

Don't dump ANYTHING in the water on the water rides: In the worst example I've heard of (not sure if it's an urban legend) someone dumped a relatives ashes into the water in pirates. In Florida ashes are considered a bio hazard. They had to close the ride, drain the water, and sanatize the track.

Don't do it they can see you: If you are in Disney World you are on camera. Keep that in mind before you pick your nose, butt, scratch your privates, spit, go at it with a girlfriend on a dark ride, or any other shenanigans.

Don't drink too much alcohol: Booze and rides are not a good combo but an even worse combo is alcohol and the hot Florida weather. People will laugh at you if you pass out and need to be taken to first aide.

Don't flash on the ride photos: Yes Disney did away with the people who review the ride photos but that doesn't mean it's ok to flash. You'll just upset all the parents who are trying to have fun with their kids. Although there are two groups who will thank you - perverts and teenage boys.

That is the short list. I think you get the point. If there are any others you'd like to see, go ahead and post them in the comments.

Photo of the Week - Dreamfinder

Believe it or not, before Dreamfinder was discarded like a piece of trash, he could be found in the park with Figment. Figment was a puppet that could move around but of course wouldn't talk.

As you can tell by the attire this is an old school photo.

How to get Banned for Life and Possibly Arrested in Disney World

All of us have had that little voice go off in our heads. The voice that tries to get you to do so something you shouldn’t. Almost everyone is able to control that voice. What if you didn’t? What if you listened to that voice? There are many things that kids and adults alike would try if they let the voice rule. Here are just a few:

1 – Dress like a pirate, pretend to be an audioanimatronic, hide in Pirates, and moon the boats as they go by. Results: This one would get you kicked out faster then you can blink. You’d probably get banned from the parks. I don’t think you’d get arrested but I could be wrong.

2 – Dine with the ghosts in the Haunted Mansion. Lou Mongello would take a life to be able to do this. I always thought it would be funny to sit in one of the chairs with my feet on the table while eating a big sandwich. Results: Absolutely kicked out, maybe banned, maybe arrested.

3 – Kiss a face character. You’d have to have some gall to attempt this one. I feel bad for the face characters to begin with. They have to work so much harder than the normal characters. Normal characters can make faces, stick their tongue out, and maybe mutter softly if someone annoys them. Face characters have no such luxury. Most guys (and probably some women) have thought about this briefly. Results: Kicked out, most likely banned, arrested, and possibly a restraining order. However, if you are attractive, none of the above, you might end up with a phone number (I do not condone attempting this even if you are good looking).

4 – Go swimming in the Rivers of America. What could be better on a hot day? It’s very tempting. Results: Kicked out, maybe banned, and possible serious illness. Why is the last one in there? Do you know how nasty that water probably is? My wife has a term for it. It’s called chucky water.

5 – Hide out and try to stay in the parks after closing. Who hasn’t thought about this ever since Mike Scopa wrote his factious article about falling asleep and waking up after the park has closed, tons of people have tried to figure out how to pull it off. Results: Removed from the parks. My guess is that’s it.

6 – Steal a costume and run around the parks. Ok this would be fun on a cool day. You could really mess with people in a fun way. I wouldn’t be mean or anything but I’d have some fun. Results: Kicked Out, Banned for Life, most likely arrested.

7 – Take a nap on the bed in the Swiss Family Tree House. Other than all of the people staring at you this would be great. What a perfect place to take a nap, great view, breezy, pleasant surroundings. Results: Maybe kicked out unless the cast member was nice.

8 – Sneak into the castle and ride down the zip line. How fun would that be? I guess it’s a mix up considering I don’t know where it ends. Results: Kicked out, banned for life, and chance of serious injury or death. The person who plays Tinker Bell has to weigh under 100 pounds to do the zip line. I’m guessing when you are over 200 the results could be bad.

9 – Start a food fight at one of the buffets. There’s nothing like a good old food fight. Imagine a few hundred people at the Crystal Palace going nuts. Results: If no one knows who started it – nothing. If you get caught you’ll get kicked out but I don’t think you’d get banned for life.

10 – Ride the Tower of Terror, skip the line for every ride, and claim it’s for a medical condition. Then throw a massive, profanity filled, fit when confronted. Results: Banned for Life. I know this because someone tried it.

Pleasure Island

Pleasure Island closed in September of 2008. For years it was Disney’s nighttime hotspot. With numerous clubs and adult themed attractions it filled a hole that helped to round out Disney’s entertainment options.

A lot of people were upset when Pleasure Island closed and a seemingly equal number of people could have cared less. From what I’ve seen most people were not upset that Pleasure Island closed but more the fact that the Adventures Club closed.

I wasn’t really sad to see Pleasure Island close but I was a little surprised. By closing it Disney left a big void in their world. What is there to do late nights at Disney World? To be honest I don’t care all that much. I almost never last past 10pm when I’m at Disney World. I’m just too tired from hitting the parks all day.

Another thing I found interesting was what Disney said they were going to do with the area. Add more shopping and dining. Who is that aimed at? I know it’s not me. I do my shopping and dining at the parks and resorts. I can’t even remember the last time I went to Downtown Disney. Disney really needs to put something in that area to draw the people who are casual shoppers. If you were able to draw me there the odds are good that I’d eat and shop there.

That leads to the million dollar question (pun not intended): how much money do you spend on building something that is going to attract a wide range of people? It’s a big risk – reward question. You want to spend enough that you draw people so they’ll buy stuff but not so much that you could never break even.

What can you do on a dime? Raid the closet:

1 – Lucky, Wall-E, and the Mobile Muppet Lab: To my knowledge all three of these have been shelved. They are automated, interactive characters that are gather dust somewhere. Why not get a few more miles out of them?

2 – A few of rare and retired characters: Characters are always a draw. Retired and rare characters could be an even bigger draw. I mean really dig deep. Pull out the ones that people can’t even remember. Do you know where you put them? Next to the store selling the Disney DVDs they appeared in.

3 – A splash of fireworks: Fireworks never hurt. They cost but they don’t hurt unless someone does an oopps.

4 - Dream Squad Part II – They don’t need to be giving away expensive prizes. It can just be little things but that’s enough to draw a large amount of people.

The most important thing to remember is to keep things unpredictable. When you do that people can’t help but think they are going to miss something if they are not there. That’s when you’ll really see the money roll in.


Space Mountain – The Original

Space Mountain has always had a rabid following. There is even an unofficial marathon for Space Mountain that takes place every morning when the Magic Kingdom opens. There are a number of reasons why Space Mountain is so popular. All of them attest to the genius that when into the planning and design of it.

The Building: The building itself has become a Disney icon. It has a unique, eye catching design. It’s a popular photo spot. However most people don’t know that some of the best photos of Space Mountain are taken from high up in the Contemporary tower.

The Queue: By today’s standards the queue isn’t all that impressive but when you consider when it was built, it’s great. What’s better than spending the entire queue in a cool dry place with neat lighting and a futuristic feel?

The Darkness: Disney found out that if you put a really lame roller coaster in the dark people will think it’s the best thing ever. The Dark also allowed for some cool stuff to be played on the walls. Someone once told me that many of the “meteors” you see are actually chocolate chip cookies. I don’t know if that’s true or not, I just know it works.

The Exit: I believe the exit is overlooked. The moving walkway and the exhibits are a nice break from the average exit.

People might not like the fact that referred to the actual ride as being “lame.” Well too bad. It is kind of lame and unless you’ve ridden Space Mountain with the lights on, you can’t really argue that. I’ve ridden Space Mountain with the lights on. You come to realize that all Space Mountain is, is a giant indoor erector set. Some people would call it a “wild mouse” style roller coaster. It’s the kind of roller coaster you’d see at a traveling fair. You know they type. The one that has a few of the joints held together by duct tape and twine. You know…the one that you won’t let your kids ride because it looks like a death trap. That’s what you’re riding every time you ride Space Mountain but it is still fun!

Meet and Greet areas are EVIL!

When I was a kid there was no such thing as Pixie Hollow or any of those other character meet and greet areas. Back then everything was spontaneous. You could turn the corner and run into a character. The characters didn’t even have handlers. Over time, people decided that wasn’t enough. They didn’t want a surprise. They wanted to know where and when they could see their favorite character. Thus the meet and greet areas were invented.

Hurry up everyone! We need to get to Pixie Hollow so we can wait an hour to see Tinker Bell!

How is that fun? You want me to stand in line for an hour with a bunch of grumpy kids and fanatic adults to have my picture taken with Goofy? Granted there are still a few places you might run into a character but they are rare. Most places are designated and even have a marker so you know where and when you can find someone. It’s just not the same. It really kills the moment. The only thing that is still in existence that is somewhat like the old character encounter is when a character is waiting at the end of a ride.

I understand that one of the big reasons the characters are scheduled is to aide in crowd control. More and more people are cramming into the parks and you’d have a mob if there wasn’t some kind of crowd control. I guess it’s like fast pass a necessary evil. I don’t like the idea of fast pass but without it I would have never ridden Toy Story Midway Mania and Test Track.
All considered, the meet and greet areas are a big reason why I didn’t have a single picture taken with a character on my last trip. I’d just feel like a freak waiting in a big line to get my picture taken with a character.

HOLY POO FLINGING MONKEYS! It’s Dark Wing Duck!

When I was young the best part about going to Disney World was seeing the characters. I had the autograph book and was always on the hunt for characters I didn’t have. There is nothing wrong with that. I think most kids do that. In time you leave the autograph book at home and might get a picture or two with a character. Some people however never grow out of the character hunt period of their life. If you see a character in a park, chances are there is an adult who has a rather unhealthy obsession lurking nearby.

When it comes to characters there are some things I can and cannot do. First of all I can’t go near a face character (aka no mask). The reason for this is simple. I step out of my shoes and look at all angles. One – most face characters are attractive woman. Two – you have to be close to get a picture taken. See the problem? You normally put your arm around a character when you have your picture taken. I’d feel like a total pervert doing that with an attractive woman I didn’t know. Even though they get used to it, I bet they feel the same way. On the flip side if you stood a couple of feet away that would be even more uncomfortable because then you’d end up with an awkward photo your friends could laugh at for years.

I’d really like to know the shelf life of a face character. I bet it’s not long. I bet most of them quit or get fired. How many times can you get groped naughty kids or sketchy adults before you go bonkers and start hitting people? When you think about it, how many sweaty (or stinky for that matter) people do you have to hug before you just want to blow chunks all over the place?

The only face character that you could get me to take a picture with is Mary Poppins. Not just any Mary Poppins. It has to be the rare one. You always see Mary Poppins in the white dress with the big hat. To me that’s not Mary Poppins. Where is the Mary with the black outfit and the umbrella that’s not a sun shade? The one you see through out the movie? That’s the one I’ll take a picture with. Before you start laughing and say I have a Mary Poppins fetish, I should explain that Mary Poppins was my favorite Disney movie when I was a kid.

Normal characters are a little different. Because they have that big old mask on it’s not as creepy. Ok so maybe to some people it’s ten times as creepy but the fact is I don’t feel like a pervert getting my picture taken with them. Although for all I know the Burping Troll of Walmart could be hiding in that suit. Fact of the matter is, you don’t know. I wonder if they found a really short person or use a child for the small characters like Donald. If that’s true, image who they find to be Sully. Do the Disney HR people go around looking for freaks? Do they put out ads that say “Looking for fre…cast members! Must be under 5’, or over 6’5” tall. Must like kids and have a…felony free criminal record. Opportunity for advancement to circus performer or movie extra if you last three months.”

There is something funny I’ve found with the normal characters. People collect them, pictures of them that is (at least I hope that’s all they are collecting). There are websites dedicated to finding them. Some are easy to find while others are very rare. Some you can’t find anymore because they have been shelved and long forgotten. Like the character in the photo with this post. Who on Earth is that? I asked everyone in that picture and no one remembers.

For all the hardcore fans who haven’t been able to find Smee and Captain Hook, I can help you out. Every night about thirty minutes before the fireworks in the Magic Kingdom, they appear at the Contemporary. They lead lines of people who paid to go on the fireworks cruises. Just go to the pier at the Contemporary and you see them. Ugh…I fell like I’m feeding someone’s addiction.