Photo of the Week: Where Am I?

Do you know where this photo is from?

If you are a fan of the parks you can figure it out through a process of elimination.   I'll give you a few hints.

1 - You can see this attraction from two different parks.

2 - This statue can be found in the queue of the attraction.

3 - The color of the building is the same shade of red that you see directly behind the statue.

4 - This statue is found about half way through the queue.

5 - The attraction is in Disney Hollywood Studios.

6 - The attraction is at the end of Sunset Blvd.

If you haven't figured it out already this statue can be found in the queue of the Tower of Terror.  It's on the left hand side as you get close to the building.

Disney Changes Security Policies After Pepper Spray Incident

After last month’s incident near the Tower of Terror in Disney’s California Adventure in which a belligerent, violent drunk was pepper sprayed in an effort to keep him from hurting other people, Disney has decided to review its security policies.

After reviewing its policies and after considering the outcry that came from the many people who viewed the YouTube video and declared themselves experts on what transpired, Disney has officially made changes to how they will hand such situations in the future.

As of March 1^st, 2012 Disney stopped equipping their security with pepper spray.  Instead they will now carry bamboo canes. 

Bamboo canes have been shown effective in other countries as a way to punish those who transgress the laws.  In fact Disney is simply joining a long held tradition in some Asian countries where people convicted of minor crimes are severely beaten with canes. 

To ensure there is no misunderstanding Disney has determined that thorough beating with a cane is acceptable in the following situations.

·         When a drunk starts beating people up.

·         Anyone who records an incident while turning the cameras to themselves for stupid comments no one wants to hear.

·         Anyone who repeatedly yells “There are kids here!” or a similar comment instead of removing their kids from the area.

·         When a flock of teens are harassing families.

·         When someone is inappropriately dressed and it offends other people.

·         When one person holds a place in line for a group of other people.

·         When a person is caught cutting in line.

·         When a person is caught passing gas in a crowd and the said person just doesn’t care.

·         Anyone who is abusing a cast member over a minor issue in and effort to obtain free services or a refund.

·         Anyone caught stopping in the middle of a walkway for no apparent reason.

·         Anyone who does not control their children and allows them to touch or harass other people.

·         People caught exhibiting excessive displays of affection in public.

Anyone who rides Stitch’s Great Escape will also be beaten with a cane but not as a form of discipline.  The beating will be issued to help distract them from the pain that is inflicted from that ride.

Many experts agree that this move will greatly reduce the unwanted shenanigans that often plague the Disney theme parks.   Theme park operators across the globe are paying close attention to the impact of this new policy and are expected to adopt similar policies in the near future.

If you could not tell this is a piece of satire.  The above post is a joke based on recent events.

Photo of the Week - Tower of Terror

Most of the eye catching attractions (or wienies in Disney talk) look completely different depending on the time of day.  The Tower of Terror is no exception.  This photo was taken early in the morning.  In this light it doesn't washout like it does in the middle of the day.  The light gives it more of a blue tone.

Photo of the Week - Hollywood Hotel Lobby

Has Disney done a ride better themed than the Tower of Terror? The lobby of the Hollywood Hotel is amazing. It's even impressive by Disney standards. No other attraction comes close.

Bad Backs and DIsney World

I just flew into lovely (term used loosely) Baltimore. The approach was so bumpy I thought I was Kilimanjaro Safaris. That got me thinking. I have a bad back. I had back surgery when I was 17 and since then it hasn't taken much to put my back out.

As you know many rides in Disney World warn that people with back problems should not ride the ride. I've been on everything and have found that some are rough on the back while others are fine. What rides would you really warn someone with a bad back about?

These are the ones that made my short list.

Kilimanjaro Safaris is bad. Really bad, and there is no good reason for it. They thought making the road really bumpy would mimic a real safari. What it did was make it hard take pictures and make it brutal for anyone with a bad back.

Space Mountain is rough but any coaster built that long ago is rough. Space Mountain was built just before computers became common place in roller coaster design.

Dinosaur might be the worst of any ride in Disney World. It's in the dark so you have no idea where you are going or what direction you are going in. This ride will whip you.

Parts of Test Track will rough you up. For the most part on the rough road section is bad. The rest isn't too bad.

Star Tours - enough said.

Stitch's Great Escape is so bad it hurts. Doesn't really hurt you back, just your head.

I did not put Big Thunder Mountain, Rocking Roller Coaster, or Everest on my list because they tend to be some smooth that they don't bother me at all. They are the product of the computer age. Big Thunder was one of the first and it shows.

Everyone is different. I've put my back out bending over but have had no problem picking up my 80 pound dog. So that leads to another issue. G force rides. For some people these are a killer for others it's no problem.

Mission Space - This doesn't bother my but it will compress your spine. If that tends to bother you avoid this ride.

Everest - Some parts late in the ride pull some positive G forces which could bother people.

Tower of Terror - In this case it's the G forces at the bottom of the drops. They will compress your spine.

Stuck on the Tower

A business really shows its true color when something goes wrong. I’ve seen good companies turn into monsters when trying to right a wrong (or in some cases ignoring the wrong).

What did Disney do when my wife and I got stuck on the Tower of Terror? Granted that’s not a major problem but it still wasn’t fun.

We had been through all the drops, entered the maintenance room, turned to face the elevator door and started to move towards it. That’s when we stopped. Right away I knew something was wrong. We were about six inches short of where we needed to be. The music / voiceover ran its length followed by about thirty seconds of silence. Still we were not moving. Next the lights turned off, the wall to the left of us opened and the wall on the right closed for the next ride vehicle.

After about a minute in the dark someone turned the lights on. We could see into the guts of the tower. It was just a typical unthemed area. A mechanic turned the corner with another guy. The mechanic had a uniform on that somewhat fit in with the Tower of Terror theme. He looked under our cart and in no time got us moving, and the doors opened. Instead of just disappearing after that he got right in the act by apologizing and saying he hoped it didn’t ruin our stay at the Hollywood Tower Hotel. He also said if we needed anything to ask for assistance from the bellhop.

First of all the fact that a cast member who is behind the scenes would be required to dress in a costume that fits in with the theme is amazing. The fact that he would be trained not to break the story is even more amazing. That really hits home when you realize he might have to interact with guests only a handful of times a year.

Photo of the Week: Best Sign in Disney

Disney tends to put detail into everything, even the places you wouldn't expect. The sign for the Tower of Terror is a great example. It looks like an old stone hotel sign but if you wait long enough you'll see it light up. A lot of people don't bother to wait they just run by the sign and up into the queue. That's too bad because this is a great place for a group photo.

Photo of the Week: Nighttime Terror

The Tower of Terror is impressive enough during the day. Wait until evening and it gets even more impressive. It's in the top three for Disney Landmarks following only Cinderella's Castle and Spaceship Earth.

Disney Did Something Smart?!?

I often slam Disney for making really dumb decisions that seem to go against common sense. I also tease them because their business decisions seem totally backwards at times.

Today I'm going to give Disney credit. I know. I'll give you a minute to let that sink in.

I'm giving Disney credit for Summer Nightastic. Finally they did something that seems to make sense. Instead of blowing a ton of money, coming up with some insane idea, or annoying a lot of their fans Disney did it right this time. By bringing back a fan favroite parade and new fireworks they made small adjustments that could draw some people into the parks.

The whole idea of Summer Nightastic is great. Try to keep people in the parks longer. That's a brilliant idea. By keeping them in the parks longer you greatly increase the chance that they will spend money in the park. It also makes a lot of sense to expand the hours at all of the parks and add little perks at most of them to get people to go.

I have to admit I hate the idea of updated the Tower of Terror when so many other rides need help but some people are excited about it. That could get those people into the parks.

Will Summer Nightastic get me into the parks? No. You couldn't pay me to go to Florida in the summer. Ugh, I sweat just thinking about it.

Tower of Terror Update

I was a little bummed when I heard about the upcoming changes to the Tower of Terror. I have to admit I feel that way because I'm being selfish. I don't want the Tower of Terror to be down for my upcoming vacation.

One thing I wonder about when it comes to the Tower of Terror is - how can you make it better? The only think I could think of was to make it longer. You can't really do that without major changes. Just adding a few drops wouldn't be a big deal.

The next thing that came to mind was to add some more special effects to it. The only problem with that is we'd end up comparing it to the original or even complaining about it and claiming the original was better.

The biggest issue is the simple fact that the Tower of Terror is one of the best rides in Disney World. With so many rides badly needing updates why would you change the best ride you have? Put the money into Journey Into Imagine, Ellen's Energy Adventure, or Stich's Great Escape. Make Disney really better not just a little better.

Photo of the Week - Tower of Terror

One of the best rides in Disney World. Almost everyone who goes to DHS takes a photo of this ride from Sunset Blvd. This photo was not taken from Sunset Blvd. Try to figure out where I was standing when I took this.

Disney to Install Giant Magnets

Late last week a cast member leaked information regarding a new sinister plan to boost profits. The plan involves installing giant magnets in strategic locations through out the parks. The theory behind the magnets is to nab the loose change in peoples’ pockets.

A magnet will be installed about drop in the Tower of Terror. When the ride drops the magnet kicks on. The combination of the negative g forces and magnet will extract any metallic objects in a person’s pockets.

The Rockin’ Roller Coaster will have multiple magnets. Each inversion will have a magnet located under it and will kick on when the train goes overhead.

Most benches and bathrooms will also have magnets located at specific angles to extract change from people sitting down or out of pants on the floor.

The magnets are expected to “draw” in about two million in annual profits from pocket change and the stray watch or other valuable.

“They’ve tried everything else to squeeze the last nickel out of people so this doesn’t really surprise me. I personally thought they’d have bandits in Frontier Land rob people and pass it off as a show,” stated an independent Disney analyst.

Look for the magnets to be in place by the end of the month.

Getting a Memorable Ride Photo

I love ride photos. Or maybe I should say I love good ride photos. Some rides have good ride photos and some of them have awful ride photos. Here is a list of photo / interaction on different rides:

Ride Quality

Splash Mountain Great
Buzz Lightyear Bad
Expedition Everest Good
Dinosaur Good
Test Track Awful
Tower of Terror Great
Rocking Roller Coaster Good
Spaceship Earth (interaction) Great

Why is Test Track awful? It’s at the end of the ride. The exciting part is done and nothing is happening. It’s also very hard to time. I’ve never seen a good photo from this ride. Everyone looks like a doofus in these photos.

There are some rules to follow when doing a ride photo. It has to be predictable or during thrilling part. That’s why Splash Mountain and Spaceship Earth are great. On Splash Mountain you know it is coming and it’s during a thrill. On Spaceship Earth it’s predicable.

Spaceship Earth is a double edged sword. I knew the face capture was coming and I knew it was going to be used in the ending. However, I didn’t know it was going to be posted up on a massive screen at the end of the ride. Why is that an issue? Because I made a funny face. Lets just say I got my butt out of the after ride section as fast as I could.

I have a demented goal when it comes to ride photos. I’ve always wanted to get a ride photo taken when I’m wearing my gas mask. I got a cheap gas mask on eBay a while back. It’s a great gag prop. I think it would be really funny to sit in the back of the log on Splash Mountain and put it on right before the drop. There are some problems with that idea. One I don’t think I could get it through airport security. Two there is a chance Disney would block it at security. Maybe some day if I drive down I’ll give it a shot.

The Return of Flash Mountain

I always thought it would be funny bring my gas mask onto Splash Mountain or the Tower of Terror. Or maybe buy a Chewbacca mask. In both cases I wanted to see if the picture got edited out. That’s not an issue anymore.

I laughed when I heard that Disney was eliminating the person who filters the photos on their rides. I laughed even harder when I heard their reasoning – Inappropriate behavior is rare.

Let me get this straight, you got rid of someone because they were too effective? That’s basically what you are saying. People do naughty things because most of them knew someone was watching. Can you imagine what spring break is going to be like now? I never thought a Girls Gone Wild: WDW Edition would be possible.

Another unexpected impact of this change will be congestion around the photo area. I can see it now, a group of adolescent boys hanging around and waiting and flipping out every time they see a boob. Disney will need to hire another security person to clean house over there. There’s some irony for you. You get rid of the person filtering the pictures but then hire someone to keep people moving.

I focus on Splash Mountain but others are affected too. The worst will be the Tower of Terror. The problem is a lot of people can go on the Tower of Terror at the same time. One goober flashing ruins the photo for multiple families.

I know I’m focusing on girls for the most part but guys can be bad too. I can see a myriad of middle fingers showing up on photos. I can also see the one daring guy turning around on Splash Mountain and mooning. Don’t look at me. I don’t be mooning. No one wants to see my butt.

How to get Banned for Life and Possibly Arrested in Disney World

All of us have had that little voice go off in our heads. The voice that tries to get you to do so something you shouldn’t. Almost everyone is able to control that voice. What if you didn’t? What if you listened to that voice? There are many things that kids and adults alike would try if they let the voice rule. Here are just a few:

1 – Dress like a pirate, pretend to be an audioanimatronic, hide in Pirates, and moon the boats as they go by. Results: This one would get you kicked out faster then you can blink. You’d probably get banned from the parks. I don’t think you’d get arrested but I could be wrong.

2 – Dine with the ghosts in the Haunted Mansion. Lou Mongello would take a life to be able to do this. I always thought it would be funny to sit in one of the chairs with my feet on the table while eating a big sandwich. Results: Absolutely kicked out, maybe banned, maybe arrested.

3 – Kiss a face character. You’d have to have some gall to attempt this one. I feel bad for the face characters to begin with. They have to work so much harder than the normal characters. Normal characters can make faces, stick their tongue out, and maybe mutter softly if someone annoys them. Face characters have no such luxury. Most guys (and probably some women) have thought about this briefly. Results: Kicked out, most likely banned, arrested, and possibly a restraining order. However, if you are attractive, none of the above, you might end up with a phone number (I do not condone attempting this even if you are good looking).

4 – Go swimming in the Rivers of America. What could be better on a hot day? It’s very tempting. Results: Kicked out, maybe banned, and possible serious illness. Why is the last one in there? Do you know how nasty that water probably is? My wife has a term for it. It’s called chucky water.

5 – Hide out and try to stay in the parks after closing. Who hasn’t thought about this ever since Mike Scopa wrote his factious article about falling asleep and waking up after the park has closed, tons of people have tried to figure out how to pull it off. Results: Removed from the parks. My guess is that’s it.

6 – Steal a costume and run around the parks. Ok this would be fun on a cool day. You could really mess with people in a fun way. I wouldn’t be mean or anything but I’d have some fun. Results: Kicked Out, Banned for Life, most likely arrested.

7 – Take a nap on the bed in the Swiss Family Tree House. Other than all of the people staring at you this would be great. What a perfect place to take a nap, great view, breezy, pleasant surroundings. Results: Maybe kicked out unless the cast member was nice.

8 – Sneak into the castle and ride down the zip line. How fun would that be? I guess it’s a mix up considering I don’t know where it ends. Results: Kicked out, banned for life, and chance of serious injury or death. The person who plays Tinker Bell has to weigh under 100 pounds to do the zip line. I’m guessing when you are over 200 the results could be bad.

9 – Start a food fight at one of the buffets. There’s nothing like a good old food fight. Imagine a few hundred people at the Crystal Palace going nuts. Results: If no one knows who started it – nothing. If you get caught you’ll get kicked out but I don’t think you’d get banned for life.

10 – Ride the Tower of Terror, skip the line for every ride, and claim it’s for a medical condition. Then throw a massive, profanity filled, fit when confronted. Results: Banned for Life. I know this because someone tried it.

The Wow Factor

Disney has tried to incorporate a main symbol that is supposed to wow people in every park. In the Magic Kingdom it is the castle, in Epcot it is Spaceship Earth, in Animal Kingdom it is the Tree of Life, and in Disney Hollywood Studios it is the Wizard Hat.

Disney also incorporates attractions it hopes will do the same thing. Expedition Everest, Splash Mountain, and the Tower of Terror are good examples of those.

Some times Disney achieves their goal. Sometimes they fall flat on their face. Most people say that the castle provides the wow factor. Some people even break down and cry when they see it. I really wish I was kidding. Walk down Main Street USA and you’ll see them. The castle isn’t bad but I wouldn’t put it on top.

I thought I’d break down some of the wow factors in Disney World just for Kicks.

1 - Spaceship Earth at Night. This one easily tops my list. The way they light up Spaceship Earth is just amazing. This is the only one that really gives me chills.

2 - The Cinderella’s Castle an night during the Christmas season. Ok let me just say that I am not a fan of Christmas decorations. The main reason is that they tend to get in the way and they are EVERYWHERE! The only exception of when Disney doesn’t overdo it is with Cinderella’s Castle.

3 - The standard Cinderella’s Castle. This one is a classic. Most people who visit Disney take a picture of it every time they go to the Magic Kingdom.

4 - Spaceship Earth during the day. It’s big, it’s white, and it’s cool looking. To get the best wow factor ride the monorail for the TTC to Epcot.

5 - The Haunted Mansion – The attention to detail that went into the Haunted Mansion is mind boggling. You hear this attraction before you see it. The howling dog is a classic sound. The outside is a perfect fit for what should be a haunted mansion.

6 - Splash Mountain – By itself it shouldn’t rank this high. What really makes Splash Mountain a “wow” is how it’s built into the park. The two bridges from which you can view the shoot are places you could sit and just watch people scream their brains out. It doesn’t really get old.

7 - The Tree of Life – The Tree of Life is a unique “wow.” I think it’s the only one that gets more amazing the closer you get. From a distance it’s cool looking. As you get closer the details start to come out. You get a sense for its size and you start to make out the shape of the animals. When you’re on top of it you see the stunning detail of every animal. You could blow rolls of film just on the carvings. Well I guess you could if you have a film camera. Wow, who still owns a film camera?

8 - The Tower of Terror – The Tower of Terror isn’t really an awe inspiring building by itself. However, Take that building and put it at the end of a long flat street and add the sound of people screaming as you walk towards it…now you have something. I’ve taken some good pictures of the Tower. The best one was from the queue. There is a great spot that you can shoot the sign through the trees. To really push a picture of this over the edge, convert it to black and white. This and the Haunted Mansion look amazing in Black and White.

Those are just a few. However, you may notice that I did not mention the wizard hat. That’s because it’s never amazed me. I think the Chinese Theater was far more impressive than the hat. The hat has too much stuff around it. You can never get a good picture of it. Even if you did it really lacks what the other symbols have. Don’t ask me what “it” is. I just know it doesn’t have “it.”

The Tower of Terror Cover-up!

People may or may not have noticed but Disney changed the restraint system on the Tower of Terror since it was first opened. Back in the day all you had was a bar that you pulled towards you. The only seat with a belt was the seat in the middle. If you ride the Tower of Terror now you’ll notice that everyone has a seat belt.

I miss the bar. You could get a great ride with the bar. Most of the time it barely held you in place and you had to hold onto it to keep from hitting the ceiling of the cart.

Why did Disney have to take the bar away!?!

The following is a true story. It is not embellished. I’m the first one to admit when I’m joking around.

In 1995 my father, brother in-law, sister, and friend rode the Tower of Terror together. A solo rider was against the wall, then my friend, sister, brother in law in the middle, and my dad was the first person on the other side of the cart. Next to my dad were two Asian men.

Years ago my dad earned the nickname “Big Guy.” He’s a “large” fellow.

Imagine two thin Asian men pulling the bar towards them. Now imagine their faces as the bar hits a large stomach and will come no closer. Imagine the panic as the doors to the elevator start to close and there is a good foot gap between the safety bar their laps. Urgently they talk to each other in a non-English dialect and point at the gap and then to my father. In desperation they try pulling on the bar again to no avail!

Those two guys got the ride of their lives.

I bet you’ve never seen whiter knuckles in your life.

I wish my dad had bought the picture. I’d also pay good money to see the security camera footage of that entire ride.

Here is my speculation (aka totally fictions story) on the aftermath.

Two Asian men pay a visit to guest relations at Disney Hollywood Studios. The cast member working there does there best to keep them calm as they wait for a translator. The translator relays that a monster has been spotted in the park and was just on the Tower of Terror. In fact, that monster nearly killed them!

Of course, since this makes no sense, the translator asks some questions. Come to find out a monster isn’t really in the park it’s just someone who they deem as being larger than a monster is in the park.

The story is successfully relayed and the cast member working in guest relations starts laughing uncontrollably and has to be terminated for offending the two Asian men.

The story spreads from cast member to cast member until it reaches the cast member running security at the Tower of Terror. That cast member quickly pulls the security footage of the event. When he stops laughing he shows his supervisor. When the supervisor regains consciousness (he passed out from laughing too hard) he determines that the tape needs to be destroyed because of possible liability.

The terminated employee from guest relations and the translator are captured and put to work in the secret limestone mine hidden under the Magic Kingdom. They are never heard from again.

The supervisor from the Tower of Terror slips a lethal does or painkillers into his subordinates Yoohoo, after that employee destroys the footage. The supervisor then recommends to the legal department that the bars be replaced with seat belts. The legal department thinks it’s a great idea and recommends the supervisor for a promotion for thinking outside of the box and trying to reduce Disney’s potential liability.

The two Asian men return home and seek legal counsel. When no evidence is found they are branded as liars and live out their lives in shame.

Now you know why the bars on the Tower of Terror were replaced with seat belts.

I Don’t Even Like Hats…

One thing stuck me when I got home after my last Disney World trip. I bought a hat that I’ll most likely never wear. I don’t wear hats very often so why did I buy a hat? Come to think of, when did I go to Disney World and not buy a hat or come away with a hat? Most of the hats have been so embarrassing I’d never, ever, wear them out in public. Think I’m joking? Check this list of foolish and embarrassing hats I got at Disney World. This list goes from the least embarrassing to the most embarrassing hat.


Mickey Mouse Fishing Hat – Well first of all I don’t fish so I have no idea why I bout this hat and wore it around Disney. At least it wasn’t as bad as some of my others. It was just a tan fishing had with a small Mickey Mouse on the front of it.


You Better Take the Stairs: Tower of Terror Hat – This was my most recent purchase. I will admit it’s a “cute” hat. It’s black with white letters and three cartoon slides with Goofy and Mickey on them. Problem number one - a guy shouldn’t really be wearing a hat that could be described as cute. Problem number two – you probably don’t want to get attention from the people who would comment on this hat outside of Disney World.


The Goofy Hat – I was a kid when I got this and I loved it. It was a baseball hat with Goofy’s face on it. It had big Goofy ears that hung down to your shoulders and even had two big teeth the hung off of the end of the visor. Now that I’ve explained what it looks like you know why an adult wouldn’t be caught dead wearing it.


The Figment Hat – When I was a kid Figment was my favorite park character. That being so, I just had to buy the figment hat when I saw it. This thing was just awful. It was purple, orange, and yellow. If that’s not reason enough not to wear it, it also had two orange figment horns protruding from it.


Only a select few ever wore this final hat. This was given away for obvious reasons. It took a brave sole to wear it. Before I start describing this hat, go back to the “HOLY POO FLINGING MONKEYS! It’s Darkwing Duck!” post to see a picture of this hat. For anyone who wore that hat a shiver instantly went down their spine when they saw that photo. It was the one, the only, Fifteen Years of Magic “I’m a Winner” hat! It was a blue sun visor. That’s no so bad is it? Well take that blue sun visor and print “I’m a Winner” on the front of it. Sounds bad right? Well wait just one minute! Put battery operated, flashing, yellow and red lights across the border! Ah, now there is a master piece that all the famous artists of history could never have equaled. You may ask, “How on Earth did you find yourself in possession that thing?” During Disney World’s “Fifteen Years of Magic” promotion, every fifteenth person through the park gates won something. My dad won something but I can’t remember what it was. The very next day I won the hat. Let me tell you I was thrilled. For a kid to get a hat that lights up…well you just can’t beat that.

There had been other strange purchases at Disney World through out the years: pocket watches, figment plush toys, a Skippy plush toy, and a “Hundred Acre Wood” Henley. Even when I think of those odd purchases the hats still stand out. I’m starting to think that now I have to buy a hat every time just keep up appearances. But, how could I possibly improve on that list? I think I set the bar too high.