New Video Posted: 2011 Disney World Montage!

A decent montage of different clips from Disney World has been posted to YouTube.  This montage has some of the typical ride footage but it also has some fun out of the way clips from the entertainment you run into in Disney World.

The whole thing is in 1080p HD.

You can see the video HERE.

Review of Star Tours the Adventure Continues

Star Tours the Adventure Continues was one of the most hyped overhauls that I can remember.  In most cases when something is so hyped it falls short of expectations.  Does the new Star Tours fall short?

Overall Star Tours does meet the hype but lets break this review into some pros and cons.

Pros

3D - the 3D is t he best 3D I've ever seen.  Normally I'm not a fan of 3D.
Glasses - The glasses are not your standard 3D glasses and they seem to fit better.
Multiple Stories - The mix of ride scenes is great and keeps the ride fresh.
New Queue - The new queue has some really nice features.
Use of visitors in the ride - Having one of the visitors being the spy is a really nice touch.

Cons

Motion Sickness - If you have a problem with the old, you will have a problem with the new one.  My wife got really sick.
Potential of seeing the same thing twice - I rode three times.  Two of the rides were almost identical.  That was a bummer.
Non-Star Wars fans would miss a lot - If you are not a fan of the movies there are a ton of details that you would miss.  If you are not a fan this is basically just a 3D motion simulator.

Overall the new Star Tours is a great overhaul and should stand the test of time.

I’m Not Abused…I Went to Disney World

Disney is the best vacation destination on Earth. Every year millions of people ride the rides and watch the shows. Few of those people realize that they are about to subject themselves to a punishing regiment.

Some rides are nice and relaxing. Then there are the rides that you should not let your kids ride a day or two before a doctors appointment. We hear the normal warnings all the time but the warnings just don’t do reality justice. Here are the rides that will beat you senseless:

Primeval Whirl: The ride carts were designed for four kids, four midgets, or four anorexic adults. They were not designed for four medium to large people. Squishing yourself onto this ride combined with the g-forces it pulls results in bruising at best and cracked ribs at worst. That is not a joke. My wife cracked a rib on this ride.

Dinosaur: This ride will toss you around like a raccoon in a dryer. You can easily get bruised by smacking up to the person next to you. It’s also designed to blow your back clean out. This is the worst ride for people with bad backs.

Kilimanjaro Safaris: If you are sitting on the edge some of the pot holes will bounce you off the side of the truck. This will result in bruising or an aggravated back.

Malestrom: You might be wondering how someone could get injured on this ride. Just before you go over the falls the ride switches your track. This is jarring. If you are already touching the side you are going to get a bruise.

Space Mountain: Even with the track updates this can be a rough ride. Parts of it sill like to snap you around. It’s padded enough that you won’t end up bruised but you could get your back adjusted for free.

Tom Sawyers Island: YES TOM SAWYERS ISLAND! If you have a bad rafter driver and he bangs the dock – bruise! If you don’t pay attention in Injun Joe’s cave - bruise! If you don’t keep your head down in the escape tunnel – concussion! If you try to walk the barrel bridge when a flock of teenagers hit it – multiple injuries!

World Showcase: You must think I’m on drugs for listing this. You’d be wrong! Try walking World Showcase with inappropriate footwear. I know you’re not supposed to but everyday some idiot does it and ends up at first aide with blood blisters.

There you go. A nice list of things in Disney World that will leave you black and blue, with a blown out back, a concussion, possible broken bones, and unable to walk. Sounds like fun! I can’t wait to go back.

Another Ride I Want to See Gone!

Everyone knows I don’t like Stiches Great Escape. However, as I’ve stated before that ride is fixable. I can also name about a dozen other rides that really miss the mark and need help but there is one I think is beyond help.

To put it simply, Mission Space is a one ride wonder. The first time you ride it you think it’s entertaining. The second time you ride it (if it doesn’t make you sick the first time) you realize that it’s really a crummy ride. The preshow stinks. The story stinks. The waiting area stinks. The ride is a glorified Turkish Twist only not as exciting. In fact the only thing I enjoy about Mission Space is the queue.

Of course since Mission Space is considered a thrill ride and it cost oodles of money to build I don’t think it’s going anywhere anytime soon. I say that but the first crack is showing in its armor. That crack being the fact that I’ve never waited in line on Mission Space and I do the “Orange Team.” That is not a good sign when you consider its next door neighbor, Test Track, always has a line and it’s a much older ride.

There is only one ride in Epcot I can think of with a shorter wait than Mission Space and that’s the Imagination ride. You know you are in trouble when you can be compared to that ride.

The real killer just occurred to me when my mother asked me if she should go on Mission Space when on her next Disney vacation. I said no. I really could not recommend it to my mother and she’s been on everything else in Disney World.

The saddest part is, you could have a killer ride with a space theme. Space is such a diverse and exotic subject you’d think the Imagineers would have a field day with it.

I know some people might not agree with this but I’d like to see a good old fashion space themed dark ride that goes through the history of space exploration and some future possibilities. I think that would have more shelf life that Mission Space currently has.

The Most Neglected Park

People love to complain. When it comes to Disney it’s no different. WDW fans love to rip apart rides they do not like and things they think the company is ignoring. Sometimes I have to admit the complaints are warranted. For example in the Magic Kingdom you find Stitch’s Great Escape is universally hated but Disney has no plans to do anything about it (at least none that have been leaked).

In the Animal Kingdom people rip a majority of Dino Land USA. I totally agree with that. There is no reason to go over there unless you are going to Dinosaur.

In the Hollywood Studios you have Sounds Dangerous which should have been put out of it’s misery a long time ago.

Then there is Epcot. When you break it down Epcot is the most neglected park in all of WDW. There are a lot of reasons for this:

1 – Ellen’s Energy Adventure: This ride is so outdated it’s painful. Ellen looks young because she WAS YOUNG when she did the film for this attraction. PLEASE someone fix this movie!

2 – Mission Space: Mission Space is a bad movie glued to a ride that spins. I’ve ridden it twice and don’t plan on riding it again. It’s re-ride value is really lacking.

3 – Wonders of Life Pavilion: I can’t think of a time in Disney’s past when they shut down such a large portion of a park to never reopen it again. This pavilion just sits there like a skin tag. You don’t want to look at it because it’s unpleasant but you can’t help yourself.

4 – Imagination Pavilion: Possibly the most disappointing pavilion ever; the Imagination Pavilion went from the best to the worst. The ride is broken and now we have a 20+ year old movie installed in a theater and sadly, that’s an upgrade over what was there. The real kicker is, this is one of the most beautiful pavilions from the outside. Too bad inside is rotten to the core.

5 – Spaceship Earth: I love Spaceship Earth but what’s up with the dark tunnel. Did you run out funding? Was there nothing you could even recycle and put in there?

6 – The Trading Post thingy: It was supposed to be an African Pavilion instead it’s turned into a boil on the backside of World Showcase. What a waste of space. I think only people with heatstroke stop here.

7 – World Showcase: I love world showcase so why am I listing it? Have you ever seen the original plans for the World Showcase? It was supposed to have twice the countries it has now. They were supposed to expand behind the American Adventure. Instead everything stopped after Norway was added. BOOOOO!

8 – Norway: Norway is a cool pavilion but it has the worst movie in the World Showcase. That movie is so bad it’s laughable. It’s not supposed to be funny but it is. I feel bad for the cast members from Norway who have to put up with that.

9 – Italy: Not much there is there? That’s because it had its ride cut.

10 – Germany: What’s in that big building? It was going to be a ride but it got cut too.

11 – Japan: Wouldn’t it be cool to have a Mt. Fuji ride? Sure…unless you’re Kodak. Fuji film was going to sponsor a Mt. Fuji ride. Kodak stonewalled it.

Ok I’m done. I think you get my point. Epcot feels like could and should be so much more.

2010 Disney Montage!

The best Disney montage video EVER...this week...has been posted to YouTube. The video is set to the Robin Hood Prince of Thieves theme and was filmed in 1080p.

I don't want to hear any complaints. I know all this footage is from February and yes it took me five months to get around to editing this.

If you like it, rate it or leave a comment on YouTube.

You can see the video here.

Bad Backs and DIsney World

I just flew into lovely (term used loosely) Baltimore. The approach was so bumpy I thought I was Kilimanjaro Safaris. That got me thinking. I have a bad back. I had back surgery when I was 17 and since then it hasn't taken much to put my back out.

As you know many rides in Disney World warn that people with back problems should not ride the ride. I've been on everything and have found that some are rough on the back while others are fine. What rides would you really warn someone with a bad back about?

These are the ones that made my short list.

Kilimanjaro Safaris is bad. Really bad, and there is no good reason for it. They thought making the road really bumpy would mimic a real safari. What it did was make it hard take pictures and make it brutal for anyone with a bad back.

Space Mountain is rough but any coaster built that long ago is rough. Space Mountain was built just before computers became common place in roller coaster design.

Dinosaur might be the worst of any ride in Disney World. It's in the dark so you have no idea where you are going or what direction you are going in. This ride will whip you.

Parts of Test Track will rough you up. For the most part on the rough road section is bad. The rest isn't too bad.

Star Tours - enough said.

Stitch's Great Escape is so bad it hurts. Doesn't really hurt you back, just your head.

I did not put Big Thunder Mountain, Rocking Roller Coaster, or Everest on my list because they tend to be some smooth that they don't bother me at all. They are the product of the computer age. Big Thunder was one of the first and it shows.

Everyone is different. I've put my back out bending over but have had no problem picking up my 80 pound dog. So that leads to another issue. G force rides. For some people these are a killer for others it's no problem.

Mission Space - This doesn't bother my but it will compress your spine. If that tends to bother you avoid this ride.

Everest - Some parts late in the ride pull some positive G forces which could bother people.

Tower of Terror - In this case it's the G forces at the bottom of the drops. They will compress your spine.

Miracle Ear Must Have Boosted Their Sponsorship

I know Miracle Ear is not an “official” sponsor of Disney but I am now convinced that they are paying big bucks to get Disney to crank the volume. I swear Disney is much louder now that it was before.

La Nouba: This show is very loud, far too loud. Not only that they have signs that say they have equipment for the hard of hearing. If you can’t hear this show, check your pulse because you are most likely dead. They should have noise canceling headphones for the rest of us so we don’t go deaf.

The Circle of Life: Wow. That’s all I can say about this one is wow. It’s so loud it hurts. I guess because the movie is awful and preachy they thought it would add some excitement if they cranked the volume. It’s either that or the cast member in charge id deaf.

Journey Into Imagination: This ride is bad to begin with. It didn’t need to be louder but they made it much louder. I am glad my wife didn’t go on this ride with me. She had a headache so skipped it. This ride would have killed her.

Dinosaur: I’ve never noticed this being a really loud ride but my wife can’t stand parts of it because it hurts her ears. Our ride photo was identical because she’s shying away from the sonic boom that hits you when the dinosaur charges you.

Those are just the worst offenders. There are many more. I am not kidding when I say my wife and I are planning on bring ear plugs for our next trip.

New Video: Splash Mountain Drop in Slow Motion

A video of the drop on Splash Mountain in actual slow motion has been posted to YouTube. The video is not regular video slowed down it's high speed video played at a normal speed.

The video was taken in February 2010 and can be seen here.

Not On My List

My next WDW trip is less than 90 days away. Most of the planning is done. On my last trip I nearly killed my wife my by going commando and on most nights we left the parks early to go to dinner. This time my plan is much different. I’ve learned from my mistakes. Instead of hitting the parks early we will be hitting them late and closing them out. This way we get to enjoy the last hour the parks are open when most of the people have left.

No matter what your plan is, it is very difficult to do everything. Some stuff normally ends up getting dropped. So what am I going to drop this time?

1 – Tomorrow Land Speedway – I didn’t do this last time and I’m not doing it this time either. I see no reason to do this ride.

2 – Magic Carpets of Aladdin – I’ve never done this ride and I don’t plan on ever doing it. It’s a cheap carnival ride.

3 – Dumbo – I’m not a kid so Dumbo isn’t really a draw.

4 – Astro Orbiter – The view is nice but the line is huge. Plus it’s hard to take pictures at night on this because it’s moving so much.

5 – Stich’s Great Escape – I almost cried when I went on this. Creating this out of EAC was one of the worst things Disney ever did.

6 – Toon Town – I’ve never done this and I never want to. Bring out the wrecking ball!

7 – Ellen’s Energy Adventure – This one is on the fence. No matter how much I love the dinosaurs I can’t stand the show. It’s so loud it hurts.

8 – Imagination with Figment – I don’t want to rape my childhood again. My heart still aches when I see what “Journey Into Imagination” turned into.

9 – Kali River Rapids – It’s too short and it’s too wet.

10 – It’s a Small World – I’m not a sadist so why would I subject myself to this?

11 – The Tea Cups – The only reason this is on the list is because my wife can’t spin and going on this alone is just sad.

12 – Back Lot Tour – There is just no reason to do this every time you go. Last time I got picked to do the boat scene and I saw the canyon.

13 – PW in Dino Land – It’s so bad I refuse to even name it. Last time my wife cracked her ribs on it because they tried to cram four of us on the ride.

14 – Chester and Hester’s – Does anyone do this abomination of an area? I don’t even want to see this area it’s so ugly.

There are some others too but I don’t need to name them. If you can’t see two adults with no kids doing it, we’re not doing it.

The Problem with Planning

I’ve heard some people complain that attractions are not timed correctly. They feel that an attraction is coming out after the fact. Two good examples are Pooh and American Idol.

Pooh had made a little comeback in the early to mid nineties. I don’t know what caused it but I remember people liking Pooh. For Disney to time the opening of Pooh correctly they would have had to open Pooh around 1994. Instead it opened years later.

Idol opened about three years too late. A lot of people have scratched their heads trying to figure out the timing. Why would you open a big attraction when what it’s based on seems to be waning?

The big thing to remember in both cases is the risk / reward. Opening Pooh in 94 would mean you’d have to start planning it around 91. Construction is typically is fastest step. It takes a long time to develop a ride and get it off the drawing board. In 91 the Pooh thing had barely started if it had started at all. In 91 the idea would have seemed foolish. It would have been a huge risk.

What if Disney had opened Idol a few years ago? Big risk. The first season was huge. The second season was big too. However, how many TV shows, especially reality shows, last more than three or four seasons? Disney could have found itself opening an attraction for a canceled show. By waiting they know the show will be around for at least a few more years and they found a sponsor to pay for it. In other words – low risk.

In both cases if Disney could have opened them during the peaks of Idol and Pooh they would have attracted far more people but that just wasn’t possible. Despite the rumors, Disney does not have a crystal ball or a time machine (yet). If they did do you think they would have opened Stich’s Great Escape, overhauled Journey Into Imagination, or opened any of the other shockingly bad attractions over the years?

Stich Needs a Break

So once again Disney is trying to force Stich into another show / attraction. I’m not going to be surprised if we have another failure on our hands with this one. I can’t understand why Disney keeps trying to cram Stich into odd places. We don’t see Belle going on a deer hunt. We don’t see Peter Pan going for a ride on the NYC subway. We don’t see Mary Poppins going mountain climbing in the Himalayas. So why does Stich keep ending up in odd places? Why are new stories pulled out when he already had a good one?

If you want to put Stich in the a ride MAKE A LILO AND STICH RIDE! Make a dark ride based on the movie. That would have been cheaper then putting him in the worst ride in Disney World, making an awful show featuring him, and then reinventing that awful show. Stich is a cool character. Stop abusing him and put some sun glasses on him. The sunglasses hide his black eyes and make him seem goofy instead of freaky.

I’d like to make another request. Please keep Stich sway from the HGH. He somehow went from a cute little alien to an enormous moose. That’s not cool. I want the cute little guy that reminds me of Yoda not some huge beast that scares the crap out of kids.

If you can’t use Stich correctly don’t use him until you figure it out.

Rides You Will Never See

Synergy – If you don’t know what that is, it’s when Disney mashes stuff together, often with mixed results, in an effort make more money. For example because of Synergy we have rides inspired by Aladdin, Dumbo, Snow White, Peter Pan, Winnie the Pooh, and so on. We also have a case where Pirates inspired one good movie, a mediocre but entertaining movie, and one festering pile of cow dung of a movie. In turn the movies inspired the ride which got an overhaul. All of this was done to make more money!

I thought I’d come up with movies you’ll never see turned into rides at any Disney theme park:

Signs the Ride: This could only be a dark ride like the Haunted Mansion. You could have scenes for the car accident, the first crop circles, his brother in the closet watching TV, when he looks out the window and sees the silhouette, the aliens trying to break into the house, the arm coming out of the grate in the basement, and his brother swinging away. Now that I think of it, I’d love to see this ride.

The Many Adventures of Peewee Herman: This would be a dark ride with bright colors and all the characters from Peewee’s Playhouse. It would have scenes from Peewee’s Big Adventure and his little red bike too. Near the end would be an unshaven Peewee behind bars. The final scene would be Peewee doing the voiceover for Star Tours. See it has a happy ending.

The Wrath of Santana: This would be a roller coaster that rolls it way through the Alamo as Santana’s army is attacking. There would be an animatronic of Davy Crockett and falls down as you go by. There would also be all sorts of pyrotechnics throughout the ride and it would finish like Dinosaur does with a big blast of wind at your back.

Rocking Roller Coaster Featuring Buddy Holly: It would be just like the Aerosmith version but you get into a plane instead of a limo. You’d still do all the inversions and everything. Swap out the street signs for clouds and stuff. At the end you’d blow through a fake wall that looks like the ground. You could also bring back the end of Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride for the exit. If you don’t want Buddy Holly you could make it the Country Roller Coaster Featuring John Denver.

Rides That Need to Retire

We all have our favorite rides. Some rides that others consider boring we love. Some rides we love are now alive only in our memories. Then there are rides that need to be put out of their misery.

Ride I want to see shutdown:

The Tiki Room Under New Management. The old Tiki Room was kind of boring but I liked. I liked it because I had fond memories of it when I was a kid. Too many people thought the old one was boring so Disney found a way to make it worse. The “new” Tiki Room is about as pleasant as a festering gut pile. What were the Imagineers thinking (or smoking) when they came up with the “improvements?” To fix this ride I suggest that it be shut down, restored to its original form, and moved to the Polynesian Resort. I know that’s not feasible but I like the idea.

Stitch’s Great Escape. Dumb parents who force kids on a scary ride should not be a valid reason for shutting down that ride and replacing it with arguably the most abysmal ride in the history of Disney World. I remember going on The ExtraTERRORisal Alien Encounter when I was 15. I was blown away. I loved it. The technology, the story, the experience, everything about it was amazing. The problem was it was too graphic and too scary to be in the Magic Kingdom. So Disney flushed it down the toilet and replaced it. Everything that was good was replaced with crap. I’ve never met anyone who likes the new Stitch version. To fix this – One: burn everything down so it’s sterilized. Two: Rebuild it from the ground up at DHS and follow the original plans and put the alien from Alien in it.

I’m going to get flack on this one – Winnie the Pooh. This ride stinks. It’s the worst dark ride I’ve been on. Mr. Toads Wide Ride was demolished for this? The artwork is good but not great. The special effects are bland. The ride doesn’t do the story justice. The only reason people like this ride, is because people love Pooh. How to fix: a gallon of gas and a match.

That thing in Mexico. Mexico has such an amazing atmosphere. It’s the most impressive of all of the countries in the world showcase. The original ride was bad. There is no other way to describe it. It stunk. I was glad when I heard they were overhauling it. When I went on the new version I couldn’t help but think “This is it? You overhauled it and this is the result?” It’s better than the original but that like saying the bread is now stale instead of moldy. How to fix: The entire ride needs to match the beginning of the ride. It’s impressive when you float by the pyramid. Gut the rest and start from scratch.

Let the hate mail roll in – Finding Nemo the Musical. I’d like this ride if I was on dugs. This show is just too odd for me to enjoy. I can’t wrap my head around it. Do puppets or do people or have them both but interacting with each other. Why stick someone in a body suit and run around with a giant puppet and then have the person talk to the puppet? I might be splitting hairs but I think this one could be better executed. I also have to pose this question: Why did a nonmusical get converted into a musical when you could have done a Little Mermaid musical? I’m not some sicko who has an Ariel fetish. The Little Mermaid had three songs that actually turned into hits. Go figure. To fix: Do a puppet show. Get the people out of there. Don’t cut corners by having people running around with giant puppets because it’s too expensive to have puppets controlled from above or below.

The Movie in Norway. On second thought don’t replace this one. It’s a riot. I laugh every time I watch this movie. The scene with the guy in front of the computer makes me laugh so hard I nearly pee myself. This has to be the most outdated movie in Disney World. It’s like watching a public service announcement from the 50s. It’s loud as any anything too. This movie will hurt your ears! To fix: Umm…maybe shoot a new movie. What’s worse paying for it yourself because Norway doesn’t want to help foot the bill or continuing to show this joke of a movie?

I think I’ll get the most flack for this one. Astro Orbiter. My reasoning is this, how may of these rides do we need? We have Dumbo, Astro Orbiter, Magic carpet ride, and the Dino ride in Animal Kingdom. We don’t need Astro Orbiter. Dumbo is iconic. You cannot remove it. Astro Orbiter might be iconic but we can do better. How to fix: put a highly themed launch ride in there that shoots people sky high. That way you get the amazing views from up there but have something new and exciting that can move a lot of people in a short period of time.

Tomorrow Land Speedway. This wasn’t really cool when I was ten. How has it lasted so long? It stinks (literally), it’s loud, and it takes up an enormous amount of space. It doesn’t even fit the theming of Tomorrow Land. To fix: Just get rid of it. It’s just not worth keeping.

The Universe of Energy. First of all why isn’t an oil company sponsoring this? You think they’d want to try to improve their public image a little. This ride amazed me when I was a kid. I loved dinosaurs back then. Even the songs that were part of the ride were good even if they were corny. Jump to today. We have the beloved dinosaurs sandwiched by an awful movie which is beyond loud. Even though I love those dinosaurs it’s time to demolish this attraction. To fix: This ride needs an overhaul on the level of the Horizons and World of Motion Pavilions (not that I agree with those but that’s another story). Tear it down and start from scratch.

Journey Into Imagine With Figment. This was my favorite ride when I was eight. I loved figment, the ride was bright and colorful, and it was fun. Anyone who has been on it since the first rehab understands why this in on the list. What has happened to this ride is really sad. This ride is such a waste of space now it’s appalling. To fix: Major Rehab to restore the look and feel of the original ride.