Failed Disney Slogans

Sometimes the things we never got to experience are the most entertaining things. As an example I’m exposing some of the failed slogans from around Disney World (this is a factious post).


“Get Crabs at Fulton’s!” – A slogan for Fulton’s Crab House that never saw the light of day.



“We Have Mice in the Kitchen!” – A short lived slogan for Chef Mickey’s



“Now With Free Barf Bags!” – Sign out front of Mission Space.



“You’ll Wish You Escaped!” – Ad for Stitch’s Great Escape. Was honored with a national award for truth in advertising.



“Yak With a Yeti” – Awful slogan for Yak and Yeti. It was slammed as it was deemed to be pro-bulimia.



“It’s Fun to Beat Your Kids” – Ad for Toy Story Midway Mania



“Dogs Love Our Food” – Slogan for Tony’s Town Square Restaurant.



“Play with Pooh” – Radio ad for Pooh’s Playful Spot. Was pulled because people couldn’t see the spelling and didn’t understand the context.



“Launch Your Lunch!” – Poorly thought out slogan for The Lunching Pad.



“Your Food Should be Brown” – Slogan for the Brown Derby.

Giving Pooh Another Shot

I first did the Pooh attraction in late 2008. It was ok. I wasn’t impressed at all and thought it wasn’t better than the attraction that it replaced.

I did Pooh again in the beginning of 2010. Guess what…I’m still not impressed. Pooh isn’t bad it just isn’t good. It seems very cookie cutter and doesn’t stand out. The artwork is ok, the story is ok, and that’s the problem. Everything is just ok.

Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride was a very different experience. It was the only dark ride that I know of that had two separate tracks that did not mirror itself. You would get a totally different ride depending on what track you ended up on. Beyond that, on how many rides do you die and go to hell? That was the story on Mr. Toad’s wild ride.

Kids and adults could enjoy Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. The Pooh ride is very much geared towards kids. If your kids like Pooh they will love this ride. If you are an adult that loves pooh you might like this ride. If you don’t like Pooh, only do this ride if there is little or no wait.

Photo of the Week: Old School Pooh

It might be hard to believe but there was actually a time when you didn't get in live for characters, you just walked up to them. Characters didn't have fixed locations either, you could find them all over the place.

If you are wondering this photo is right out of the mid to late 80's.

The Problem with Planning

I’ve heard some people complain that attractions are not timed correctly. They feel that an attraction is coming out after the fact. Two good examples are Pooh and American Idol.

Pooh had made a little comeback in the early to mid nineties. I don’t know what caused it but I remember people liking Pooh. For Disney to time the opening of Pooh correctly they would have had to open Pooh around 1994. Instead it opened years later.

Idol opened about three years too late. A lot of people have scratched their heads trying to figure out the timing. Why would you open a big attraction when what it’s based on seems to be waning?

The big thing to remember in both cases is the risk / reward. Opening Pooh in 94 would mean you’d have to start planning it around 91. Construction is typically is fastest step. It takes a long time to develop a ride and get it off the drawing board. In 91 the Pooh thing had barely started if it had started at all. In 91 the idea would have seemed foolish. It would have been a huge risk.

What if Disney had opened Idol a few years ago? Big risk. The first season was huge. The second season was big too. However, how many TV shows, especially reality shows, last more than three or four seasons? Disney could have found itself opening an attraction for a canceled show. By waiting they know the show will be around for at least a few more years and they found a sponsor to pay for it. In other words – low risk.

In both cases if Disney could have opened them during the peaks of Idol and Pooh they would have attracted far more people but that just wasn’t possible. Despite the rumors, Disney does not have a crystal ball or a time machine (yet). If they did do you think they would have opened Stich’s Great Escape, overhauled Journey Into Imagination, or opened any of the other shockingly bad attractions over the years?

Mourners Expelled from the Magic Kingdom for Trespassing

A group of crying toads were expelled from the Magic Kingdom last Sunday. The reason given at the time was trespassing.

The toads entered the park through the main entrance around 11am. They were carrying flowers which security did not question or confiscate. They proceeded to the exit of the Haunted Mansion, jumped the fence for the pet cemetery, and placed the flowers on Mr. Toad’s grave.

Cast members who saw the toads jump the fence called security. Security arrived, took the toads into custody, and confiscated their flowers. After a brief interview the toads were expelled from the park.

“I think this is a total travesty,” stated a Mr. Toad fan. “They were just trying to pay their respects to their dear friend.”

“I don’t understand why we were expelled. Mr. Toad was our friend. We were just trying to pay tribute to him. When he was “removed” to make way for that stupid, overweight, bucket of fluff, it was a very painful time for us. Pooh’s ride isn’t even that good,” stated Hornswaggle Toad.

Disney could not be contacted for comment on the matter (for obvious reasons).