Miracle Ear Must Have Boosted Their Sponsorship

I know Miracle Ear is not an “official” sponsor of Disney but I am now convinced that they are paying big bucks to get Disney to crank the volume. I swear Disney is much louder now that it was before.

La Nouba: This show is very loud, far too loud. Not only that they have signs that say they have equipment for the hard of hearing. If you can’t hear this show, check your pulse because you are most likely dead. They should have noise canceling headphones for the rest of us so we don’t go deaf.

The Circle of Life: Wow. That’s all I can say about this one is wow. It’s so loud it hurts. I guess because the movie is awful and preachy they thought it would add some excitement if they cranked the volume. It’s either that or the cast member in charge id deaf.

Journey Into Imagination: This ride is bad to begin with. It didn’t need to be louder but they made it much louder. I am glad my wife didn’t go on this ride with me. She had a headache so skipped it. This ride would have killed her.

Dinosaur: I’ve never noticed this being a really loud ride but my wife can’t stand parts of it because it hurts her ears. Our ride photo was identical because she’s shying away from the sonic boom that hits you when the dinosaur charges you.

Those are just the worst offenders. There are many more. I am not kidding when I say my wife and I are planning on bring ear plugs for our next trip.

Matt Hochberg Isn’t Afraid of Dinosaur

Matt Hochberg, host of the WDW Today podcast and owner of www.studioscentral.com, has been made fun of in the past because he’s admitted to having a strong dislike of the ride “Dinosaur” in Disney’s Animal Kingdom.

People have called him such things as: wimp, girly boy, crybaby, and Len Testa wannabe.

Is it fair to belittle Matt because he is afraid of some fake dinosaurs? At first I said “of course,” but then I decided to try and find out why one would be afraid of fake dinosaurs. So I did what I do. I looked into it.

Something that I found to be odd was the fact that Matt hates Dinosaur but is ok with the Universe of Energy (I refuse to call it Ellen’s Energy Adventure. It’ll always be the Universe of Energy). As many of you know the Universe of Energy has dinosaurs in it. That eliminates the idea that Matt is afraid of all dinosaurs.

So what could it be about Dinosaur? It took a lot of research but I found out the source of Matt’s fear.

When Matt was eight years old he was obsessed with Barney the Purple Dinosaur. He loved Barney, watched his videos everyday, memorized the words to all of his songs, and owned every kind of Barney merchandise you can imagine.

One day Matt’s parents took him to see Barney in person. Matt was so excited he couldn’t contain himself. He was the first kid in line. When the employee running crowd control turned his back Matt snuck by him and ran over to the door that Barney was going to come out of. Just then the door swung open, smacking Matt in the face and knocking him to the floor. Barney ran out, didn’t see Matt, tripped over him, and fell on top of him. Barney trashed trying to get off of Matt which only made matters worse. By the time Barney’s handlers were able to get him off of Matt, Matt was barely breathing. He had been smothered by Barney.

From that day on Matt would start crying when he saw Barney. He would also freak out if any dinosaur appeared to be running towards him. As an example, Matt started crying and curled into a fetal position the first time he saw Jurassic Park because in multiple scenes the dinosaurs appear to be running at the audience.

In time it was determined that Matt was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder also known as PTSD. After years of therapy including numerous electric shock therapies, Matt has made great improvement. His only noticeable remaining symptom is crying like a little girl when he rides Dinosaur.

If you couldn’t tell the above story is factious. Matt Hochberg was never assaulted by Barney (that I know of). He has never received electronic shock therapy (I hope). He didn’t break down and cry while watching Jurassic Park (as least no one can confirm it). However, Matt does HATE Dinosaur.

Ride Photos Are Fun

Ride photos can be really good or really bad. In either case they are normally good for a laugh. The ride photo above is from Dinosaur in the Animal Kingdom. It is a classic example of a ride photo. It has every thing in it. Let’s do a breakdown:

Back Row – First Seat (left): Either this woman is scared senseless or the 100+ db blast has killed her.

Back Row – Second Seat: This guy looks like he’s having fun. He’s looking in the right direction and is smiling. For a ride photo that’s rare.

Back Row – Third Seat: This guy doesn’t have a clue but at least it looks like he’s having fun. I guess he didn’t notice the giant dinosaur charging at him.

Back Row – Fourth Seat: This woman looks surprised. Not sure if it’s from the dinosaur or the fact the man sitting next to her is about to smack her in the face.

Middle Row – First Seat: This guy looks about as impressed as a man who is about to get a prostate exam. Someone should check him for a pulse.

Middle Row – Second Seat: You’ll find this on almost all scary rides, a mother / other trying to calm a terrified child.

Middle Row – Third Seat: The token screaming kid.

Middle Row – Fourth Seat: The token parent / other trying to calm the kid by pointing out something they think is fun to distract them from the horror in front of them.

Front Row – First Seat: Apparently this lady finds the dinosaur offensive. She looks disgusted.

Front Row – Second Seat: I’m guessing this kids parents said they would beat him if he had fun. He doesn’t look happy. He doesn’t look scared. He looks drugged.

Front Row – Third Seat: This guy looks legitimately startled. At least one person got the intended effect. Poor guy might have to change his underwear before the next ride.