New Disney Promotion Announced!

In a recent press release Disney announced a new unique promotion.  

The promotion entitled “Build the Future” is based around current construction projects in the Disney Theme Parks.  The idea is simple.  Each guest visiting one of the Disney Theme Parks where construction is going on will have the opportunity to help build part of the park.

“This is a great opportunity for our guests to be able to claim they had a part in building Disney World,” stated the talking trash can in Tomorrow Land.

Disney also released a price list with all the different things true Disney fans can do:

Drive a nail - $50 per nail

Paint a small section of a wall - $100

Paint a large section of a wall - $200

Paint an entire wall - $250

Plant a bush - $100

Use a piece of heavy equipment with supervision - $100 a minute

Use a piece of heavy equipment without supervision - $500 a minute

Stand around and act like a typical job site supervisor - $10 a minute

Dig a hole - $50

Dig a hole with a plastic shovel - $100 (plastic shovel not included)

Dig a hole with an actual shovel - $200 (shovels available for rent)

Use C4 to blast boulders - $2000 an ounce + $500 per explosion. Minimum of three explosions required.

Disney also announced that only Disney fans would be able to participate in the new promotion. When asked who a Disney fan is a spokesman responded that the people participating in the promotion are fans.  Anyone who does not participate in the promotion is not considered a true Disney fan.   However, Disney also announced that people could purchase an official fan certificate for $2000 if they will not be attending the parks during the promotion.

If you couldn’t tell from the fact that the spokes…thing is a talking trash can, the above is a fake news story. However if anyone doesn't believe me that it's fake you can purchase a plastic shovel through these link.

Father Quits the Carousel of Progress

In a shocking move “Father” also known as John from the Carousel of Progress walked off the job yesterday.

Angered by Disney management ignoring repeated requests to update the ride John stormed off the stage in a profanity riddled tirade.

Witnesses reported that John was slurring his speech and look disheveled throughout the first few scenes of the attraction. When the final scene started he stood up and yelled “To hell with it!” and told the audience that he’d had enough and couldn’t let the audience see such an embarrassing end to the show. He then proceeded to yell at a child in the front row and tell him to stop picking his “[bleeping] nose.”

According to his agent John had been very upset by the final scene. He felt that is was a an embarrassment when compared to the scenes before it.

In recent years John and other members of the cast had been trying to convince Disney to change the final scene to a scene from the 80’s or 90’s because a final scene that is in the past is a better ending than a fake future that needs to be updated every other year to be even close to accurate.

“Most of audience has a cell phone that is ten times more advanced than anything in the final scene,” stated the daughter – Patricia.

“I don’t blame him for flipping out. Between the lack of updating, the kids picking their noses, and the teenagers groping each other in the back rows, this is a brutal job,” stated the mother – Sarah.

Whether Disney will try to make amends with John or try to find a permanent replacement is unknown at this time. Until then “Jose” the talking bird from the Tiki Room will be filling in.

The Tomorrow Land Transit Authority – Old vs. New

The new voice over for the Tomorrow Land Transit Authority has been out for almost a year. It has had a very mixed launch. Many people prefer the original version. I have to say I’m one of them.

When I rode the TTA in March of 2010 I kept an open mind. I was determined not to let all of the complaints influence me. I rode the TTA about three times over two days to really let it sink in. There were a couple of things that occurred to me right away.

The new TTA feels like you are on a tour. If you have never been to the Magic Kingdom before that might be a good thing but it’s not very creative and it doesn’t fit in with your typical Disney theme. Almost every ride in Disney World has a story. The TTA use to have a story but now it doesn’t. Instead you get an overview. I think that is one of the reasons people really don’t like the new voice over.

Another thing that I noticed is with the new voice over some of the dioramas don’t fit anymore. They use to be fun advertisements but now they are these odd things that are just there. Most people might not have picked up on that but the new TTA feels like it was just thrown together. It just seems odd.

The TTA is still a classic and I do enjoy it but some of the magic has been sucked out of it. Maybe Disney will catch on and adjust it…then again it is Disney.

New Video: Tomorrow Land Transit Authority at Night

I've always loved the TTA or Webway People Mover as it should still be called. I took this video on a cold night in March. This video was impossible with m old video camera. It didn't come out too bad.

There will be a lot more video's coming.

You can see the video here.

The Main Street USA Penny Arcade

A lot of things have changed over the years in the Magic Kingdom. Some were good changes, some were bad, and some fell in the middle.

A lot of people don’t realize that The Magic Kingdom had an arcade on Main Street USA. Back in the 80’s the Magic Kingdom had a few arcades but the one on Main Street USA stood out. It was called the penny arcade. One of its biggest features was the cartoon machines. I call them that because I have no idea what you would actually call them. They were machines with goggles that you looked through while you turned a crank. By turning the crack you got to watch an old Disney cartoon. The best part was they only cost a penny.

In the back of the arcade you had your usual arcade games that you can find in any normal arcade. They kind of stuck out like a sore thumb. In fact the arcade at exit of Space Mountain and the arcade on Main Street USA just didn’t fit. I’m glad they were closed.

The only drawback of closing the arcades was the loss of those penny cartoons. They were an awesome piece of Disney history. Try and explain to kids that original arcades only had cartoons and oddball, non electronic games and see what happens. Honestly I never knew anything like that existed.

It makes me wonder where the old cartoon machine and antique games are now. There is no way Disney threw them out. If they did that would be a crime. Maybe we’ll see them pop up sometime in the future so everyone can gawk over them. They really were something else.

Not On My List

My next WDW trip is less than 90 days away. Most of the planning is done. On my last trip I nearly killed my wife my by going commando and on most nights we left the parks early to go to dinner. This time my plan is much different. I’ve learned from my mistakes. Instead of hitting the parks early we will be hitting them late and closing them out. This way we get to enjoy the last hour the parks are open when most of the people have left.

No matter what your plan is, it is very difficult to do everything. Some stuff normally ends up getting dropped. So what am I going to drop this time?

1 – Tomorrow Land Speedway – I didn’t do this last time and I’m not doing it this time either. I see no reason to do this ride.

2 – Magic Carpets of Aladdin – I’ve never done this ride and I don’t plan on ever doing it. It’s a cheap carnival ride.

3 – Dumbo – I’m not a kid so Dumbo isn’t really a draw.

4 – Astro Orbiter – The view is nice but the line is huge. Plus it’s hard to take pictures at night on this because it’s moving so much.

5 – Stich’s Great Escape – I almost cried when I went on this. Creating this out of EAC was one of the worst things Disney ever did.

6 – Toon Town – I’ve never done this and I never want to. Bring out the wrecking ball!

7 – Ellen’s Energy Adventure – This one is on the fence. No matter how much I love the dinosaurs I can’t stand the show. It’s so loud it hurts.

8 – Imagination with Figment – I don’t want to rape my childhood again. My heart still aches when I see what “Journey Into Imagination” turned into.

9 – Kali River Rapids – It’s too short and it’s too wet.

10 – It’s a Small World – I’m not a sadist so why would I subject myself to this?

11 – The Tea Cups – The only reason this is on the list is because my wife can’t spin and going on this alone is just sad.

12 – Back Lot Tour – There is just no reason to do this every time you go. Last time I got picked to do the boat scene and I saw the canyon.

13 – PW in Dino Land – It’s so bad I refuse to even name it. Last time my wife cracked her ribs on it because they tried to cram four of us on the ride.

14 – Chester and Hester’s – Does anyone do this abomination of an area? I don’t even want to see this area it’s so ugly.

There are some others too but I don’t need to name them. If you can’t see two adults with no kids doing it, we’re not doing it.

Photo of the Week - The Skyway

It wasn't overly exciting. It didn't fit into the theming of any of the lands. It had an insanely slow load time. Handicapped people had an awful time trying to ride it. However, few people who rode the skyway disliked it. The view you got was second to none. The photos you could get from the skyway were amazing.

In this photo you can see Space Mountain in the distance, the Tomorrow Land Speedway below, and Mickey's Toon Town Fair on the left. The existence of Toon Town puts this photo near the end of the skyways life.

Info on Space Mountain Overhaul Leaked

A rumor that was leaked last week has been confirmed. The new version of Space Mountain will include updated ride vehicles.

The new Space Mountain vehicles will have actual rockets in the back of them. The rockets will be used as a replacement for the lift hill and will be set off while going around corners.

“We figured that people liked the G forces in Mission Space so much that we’d step it up a notch. We figure that you’ll be pulling up to eight Gs going around some of the corners. The top speed has also been increased from a top speed of about 20mph to 120mph,” stated Goofy dressed in his space suit.

Reports have also leaked out that an adequate breaking system is trying to be developed. The first train blew through the wall and kept going until it crashed into the former Skyway building causing extensive damage and resulting in its recent overhaul.

The second train jumped the track and ran Pluto over. Pluto survived with only a few minor bruises.

The third train worked at first. The success convinced Chip and Dale to do a test ride. They both survived but had to be scraped off the wall after their train crashed.

When asked about the accident Dale stated “It was fun until we crashed. The G forces were so strong I could feel my brain compress and Chip wet himself.”

Once the issues are ironed out the ride is expected to reopen.

The Tomorrow Land Speedway

When I was a kid I enjoyed the Speedway located in Tomorrow Land. What kid doesn’t like driving fake car? Back then it was the only chance I go to do anything like that. Even though I have those fond memories I have to stop and ask – Why does this still exist?

There are so many reasons to scrap this attraction. Here are the main ones:

- Not unique. Up until the early 90’s this was fairly novel. Now there are so many similar rides everywhere you can’t even fathom it. They are everywhere and many of them don’t have a bar that keeps you on track.

- It’s huge. Do you know how many attractions you could fit in that area?

- It’s ugly. This is one of the ugliest attractions in Disney World. The only ones that beat it are the Dino Land USA midway rides.

- It kills the theming – What is futuristic about this thing? It fits in nowhere.

- It’s loud. Nothing like a few dozen lawn mowers running near you.

- It Stinks. It really smells bad. Who wants to smell exhaust fumes in the Magic Kingdom.

- The Queue is painful. Why is it painful? Because it’s boring, it’s slow, it’s loud, and you stand there and inhale exhaust fumes while you are waiting.

Do you really need anymore reasons? Keep in mind, I have fond memories and I’m more then willing to put this ride out of its misery. It’s not like Alien Encounter, Horizons, World of Motion, the original Journey Into Imagination or Mr. Toads wild ride. This ride is bordering on embarrassment.

Rumors Are Fun!

1 - Blueprints were leaked onto the internet of a massive fantasy land overhaul. It would add a sit down restaurant, a 7 Dwarfs roller coaster, and about six other ride additions / enhancements beyond that. On of the enhancements would be a major upgrade to Dumbo. If it happens it will be on of the largest overhauls ever undertaken in Disney World.

ANALYSIS - Some of it might happen but I don't think it'll all happen. I think this is a case where the imagineers ask for everything they’ve ever wanted in hopes that at least a couple things get picked.

2 - WALL-E - Buy & Large overhaul of tomorrowland. The overhaul would include replacement attractions of Stitch, Buzz Light-year, and Monsters Laugh Floor.

ANALYSIS - Ok…who’s on the crack? No chance this happens. I could see a WALL-E themed ride but they would not remove a ride as popular as Buzz. You might see a slow incorporation of a WALL-E / Buy and Large theme. By that I mean Buy and Large signs and things like that.

3 - Monsters Inc. Roller Coaster in Disney Hollywood Studios. Roller coaster would be placed next to Toy Story Midway Mania.

ANALYSIS - This is very, very likely. I'd be surprised if it didn't happen. The rumors have been around for years. I’d expect an announcement soon.

4 - Overhaul of the imagination pavilion with a possible trackless ride system and a return of the dream finder. Also may include a replacement for Honey I Shrunk the Audience.

ANALYSIS - I feel this one has some merit to it. This has been such a sore spot since its original overhaul. Not only that, HISA is really showing it’s age.

5 - Test Track replacement.

ANALYSIS - I'd say no, way it's just too popular. However, GM is in the gutter, Test Track is insanely expensive to operate, and it's one of the least reliable rides in Disney World. My fear is we’ll see an outright shutdown.

6 - Return of the Adventures Club

ANALYSIS - I'd believe this if someone could tell me a reasonable place to locate it. Putting it in a park doesn’t seem right.

7 – Night Kingdom theme park

ANALYSIS – I’m fairly sure this was going to happen before the economy got flushed down the toilet. This might make a comeback when the economy better.

8 – Alien Encounter 2.0 aka Alien Encounter moved to DHS, Alien from the Alien movies added in, made more intense, first ever age limit on a ride due to content.

ANALYSIS – How can I even start to point out all the things wrong with this? I’d say there is a slim chance of AE even making it back into where it was never mind the rest of the malarkey mentioned here.

9 – Advanced guest tracking / ride video capture. In a sense you could buy a video of yourself at the end of the day and it would have all the rides you went on. It would also add interactive to a number of the rides.

ANALYSIS – Something like this will happen as so as Disney can turn a profit on it.

10 – Song of the South DVD / Blu-ray

ANALYSIS – This will happen if Disney can make it profitable. That means counting the flack that this move would generate.

Theme Parks at Night: The Magic Kingdom

Few theme parks take on another life at night like the Magic Kingdom does. Not even Epcot can match the Magic Kingdom in its night time grandeur. Here are a number of things that are amazingly different at night.

Cinderella’s Castle: During the day Cinderella’s Castle is amazing. At night it’s hard to describe. It’s lighted with changing colors like green, blue, purple, and pink. In the holiday season it gets even more impressive. They hang lights to accentuate the castle on top of the flood lights they use to illuminate it.

Splash Mountain: Splash Mountain at night is amazing. You can’t see the drops as well. They tend to be shadowed and dark. A number of things are lighted causing cool shadows throughout the exterior of the ride. The biggest change is the final drop. During the day you can see the bottom or at least get a feel for it if they have fogged it up. At night they don’t just fog it they often light the fog up making the drop seem bottomless.

Big Thunder Mountain: Few rides change as much as Big Thunder Mountain does at night. The lighting is amazing but it goes beyond the lighting. There are parts of Big Thunder that you can only see at night. For example the town scene comes alive a night. I won’t give it away but as you pass it you can look into the buildings at night. It’s crazy.

The Jungle Cruise: The Jungle Cruise takes on a fun creepy feel at night. Things seem to move even though you know they don’t. There seems to be more going on at night even though you know nothing has really changed. You have to ride it to really know what I’m talking about.

Tomorrow Land: Tomorrow Land during the day is cool but there is no doubt that Tomorrow Land was build with the nighttime in mind. The neon lights are everywhere. Everything takes on a cool futuristic feel. The best way you can experience it? The Tomorrow Land Transit Authority of course. The TTA is a must do at night.