Disney announced today that they plan to build a dam across the Rivers of America in Frontier Land at the Magic Kingdom.
"We have so many river and water rides here at Disney World it's started to put a strain on the local water system. To put it simply we need more water. A dam will give us the extra water we need," stated Disney fan favorite Dumbo.
When asked how building a dam in an artificial body of water with no natural inlets would help the water problem Disney experts were at a loss.
"We believe this will increase the water table here. In fact it will create so much water the Magic Kingdom will be placed under three feet of water," explained Dumbo.
When asked how putting the Magic Kingdom under three feet of water would help anything Dumbo responded, "It'll be the coolest theme park ever! It'll be like Water World, only in Disney."
The dam should be in place in time for the Fantasy Land Expansion to open up in 2012. My 2013 the Magic Kingdom should be under water.
Showing posts with label rivers of America. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rivers of America. Show all posts
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Breaking the Law!
I’ve thought of some off the wall things to try in Disney World. I thought about sneaking a gas mask into the parks to get a good picture on
I thought about swimming in
I thought about taking a small boat out to
So what am I going to do? I have a flask. I like coke. I like rum. Time for a drink! I figure I’ll be able to get my flask into the magic kingdom. I also figure I’ll be able to discreetly mix while sitting at a table.
I thought that would be a fun adventure that won’t get me arrested or banned from Disney. Don’t worry I’m just having a drink. I have no desire to get tipsy. That’s just not my thing.
I can only imagine what could go wrong if someone got drunk in the
A drunk falling off the boat in It’s a Small World.
Someone trying to Stand up before the drop on
Someone thinking one of the characters looks soft and would make a good pillow.
An overheated drunk guy taking a dip in the moat or Rivers of America.
Someone falling asleep on the train and drooling all over the bench.
You could go on and on and the ones I listed are the mostly harmless ones. Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure there are drunk people in the
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
How to get Banned for Life and Possibly Arrested in Disney World
All of us have had that little voice go off in our heads. The voice that tries to get you to do so something you shouldn’t. Almost everyone is able to control that voice. What if you didn’t? What if you listened to that voice? There are many things that kids and adults alike would try if they let the voice rule. Here are just a few:
1 – Dress like a pirate, pretend to be an audioanimatronic, hide in Pirates, and moon the boats as they go by. Results: This one would get you kicked out faster then you can blink. You’d probably get banned from the parks. I don’t think you’d get arrested but I could be wrong.
2 – Dine with the ghosts in the Haunted Mansion. Lou Mongello would take a life to be able to do this. I always thought it would be funny to sit in one of the chairs with my feet on the table while eating a big sandwich. Results: Absolutely kicked out, maybe banned, maybe arrested.
3 – Kiss a face character. You’d have to have some gall to attempt this one. I feel bad for the face characters to begin with. They have to work so much harder than the normal characters. Normal characters can make faces, stick their tongue out, and maybe mutter softly if someone annoys them. Face characters have no such luxury. Most guys (and probably some women) have thought about this briefly. Results: Kicked out, most likely banned, arrested, and possibly a restraining order. However, if you are attractive, none of the above, you might end up with a phone number (I do not condone attempting this even if you are good looking).
4 – Go swimming in the Rivers of America. What could be better on a hot day? It’s very tempting. Results: Kicked out, maybe banned, and possible serious illness. Why is the last one in there? Do you know how nasty that water probably is? My wife has a term for it. It’s called chucky water.
5 – Hide out and try to stay in the parks after closing. Who hasn’t thought about this ever since Mike Scopa wrote his factious article about falling asleep and waking up after the park has closed, tons of people have tried to figure out how to pull it off. Results: Removed from the parks. My guess is that’s it.
6 – Steal a costume and run around the parks. Ok this would be fun on a cool day. You could really mess with people in a fun way. I wouldn’t be mean or anything but I’d have some fun. Results: Kicked Out, Banned for Life, most likely arrested.
7 – Take a nap on the bed in the Swiss Family Tree House. Other than all of the people staring at you this would be great. What a perfect place to take a nap, great view, breezy, pleasant surroundings. Results: Maybe kicked out unless the cast member was nice.
8 – Sneak into the castle and ride down the zip line. How fun would that be? I guess it’s a mix up considering I don’t know where it ends. Results: Kicked out, banned for life, and chance of serious injury or death. The person who plays Tinker Bell has to weigh under 100 pounds to do the zip line. I’m guessing when you are over 200 the results could be bad.
9 – Start a food fight at one of the buffets. There’s nothing like a good old food fight. Imagine a few hundred people at the Crystal Palace going nuts. Results: If no one knows who started it – nothing. If you get caught you’ll get kicked out but I don’t think you’d get banned for life.
10 – Ride the Tower of Terror, skip the line for every ride, and claim it’s for a medical condition. Then throw a massive, profanity filled, fit when confronted. Results: Banned for Life. I know this because someone tried it.
1 – Dress like a pirate, pretend to be an audioanimatronic, hide in Pirates, and moon the boats as they go by. Results: This one would get you kicked out faster then you can blink. You’d probably get banned from the parks. I don’t think you’d get arrested but I could be wrong.
2 – Dine with the ghosts in the Haunted Mansion. Lou Mongello would take a life to be able to do this. I always thought it would be funny to sit in one of the chairs with my feet on the table while eating a big sandwich. Results: Absolutely kicked out, maybe banned, maybe arrested.
3 – Kiss a face character. You’d have to have some gall to attempt this one. I feel bad for the face characters to begin with. They have to work so much harder than the normal characters. Normal characters can make faces, stick their tongue out, and maybe mutter softly if someone annoys them. Face characters have no such luxury. Most guys (and probably some women) have thought about this briefly. Results: Kicked out, most likely banned, arrested, and possibly a restraining order. However, if you are attractive, none of the above, you might end up with a phone number (I do not condone attempting this even if you are good looking).
4 – Go swimming in the Rivers of America. What could be better on a hot day? It’s very tempting. Results: Kicked out, maybe banned, and possible serious illness. Why is the last one in there? Do you know how nasty that water probably is? My wife has a term for it. It’s called chucky water.
5 – Hide out and try to stay in the parks after closing. Who hasn’t thought about this ever since Mike Scopa wrote his factious article about falling asleep and waking up after the park has closed, tons of people have tried to figure out how to pull it off. Results: Removed from the parks. My guess is that’s it.
6 – Steal a costume and run around the parks. Ok this would be fun on a cool day. You could really mess with people in a fun way. I wouldn’t be mean or anything but I’d have some fun. Results: Kicked Out, Banned for Life, most likely arrested.
7 – Take a nap on the bed in the Swiss Family Tree House. Other than all of the people staring at you this would be great. What a perfect place to take a nap, great view, breezy, pleasant surroundings. Results: Maybe kicked out unless the cast member was nice.
8 – Sneak into the castle and ride down the zip line. How fun would that be? I guess it’s a mix up considering I don’t know where it ends. Results: Kicked out, banned for life, and chance of serious injury or death. The person who plays Tinker Bell has to weigh under 100 pounds to do the zip line. I’m guessing when you are over 200 the results could be bad.
9 – Start a food fight at one of the buffets. There’s nothing like a good old food fight. Imagine a few hundred people at the Crystal Palace going nuts. Results: If no one knows who started it – nothing. If you get caught you’ll get kicked out but I don’t think you’d get banned for life.
10 – Ride the Tower of Terror, skip the line for every ride, and claim it’s for a medical condition. Then throw a massive, profanity filled, fit when confronted. Results: Banned for Life. I know this because someone tried it.
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