Monkeys Invade the Swiss Family Tree House

A number of escaped monkeys from a local zoo have turned up in the Magic Kingdom.

Last month a group of monkeys escaped when a zoo keeper left their pen unlocked. The monkeys were thought to have disappeared into the forests outside of Orlando. However, last week the monkeys appeared in the Swiss Family Tree House in the Magic Kingdom.

“This is great!” exclaimed a cast member, “The monkeys are drawing huge crowds to the Tree House. We haven’t seen this many people checking out this attraction in decades.”

“It’s funny. Half of the park guests don’t know the Swiss Family story but they love this attraction. Most of them think Swiss Family Robinson is story about a family of monkeys. I’m not even going to try and explain it them,” stated long time Disney employee Daisy Duck.

The response to the monkeys has been impressive. To capitalize on crowds Disney has released a new series of monkey pins, t-shirts, and hats. Disney has also setup a banana cart near the entrance of the Tree House so guests can feed the monkeys.

“There has been one drawback to the monkey infestation. We’ve had to assign a cast member to the attraction full time. Someone has to clean up the monkey poo. It’s a seriously slip hazard,” explains a supervisor in Adventure Land.

Instead of waste the waste Disney has been shipping the monkey poo over to their Horticultural Department to be used as fertilizer.

“Hey they just took advantage of a crappy situation,” explains one of the birds from the Tiki Room. “I was afraid they’d pile the stuff over here. It’s not like anyone would really be able to tell the difference. Our show stinks.”

It’s unknown if the zoo that lost the monkeys will attempt to capture them or if Disney will broker a deal to keep the monkeys. Only time will tell.

Time for another Reboot

Rebooting or remaking a film or turning a ride or video game into a film seems like the in thing to do. My guess is most of the movie studios are too lazy or too scared to come up with something new.

Look at Disney. I think they almost pioneered the idea. We had three movies based off of Pirates of the Caribbean, one movie based on the Haunted Mansion, a movie based on the Price of Persia video game, a new Tron movie, a remake of A Christmas Carroll and a recently announced reboot of the failed Haunted Mansion movie.

If you are going to do something, do something different. Let’s step it up a notch. Here are some rides, movies, and games that would be fun to see:

Swiss Family Robinson: Look how popular Lost was. Now imagine if it didn’t have a crappy ending and it took place a in the 1800’s so you could have pirates too. You already have an attraction in the Magic Kingdom to support it too. Can you say GOLD MINE?

Tom Sawyer: When was the last time someone did a fun Tom Sawyer movie? That’s right you can’t remember can you. That means it’s a good time to do one. Like the Swiss Family Robinson, you already have an attraction for it.

Epic Mickey: If the game is a success don’t wait - bang out an animated film. Who doesn’t want to see Mickey Mouse in a movie?

Space Mountain: You think I’m nuts? Think again. You could easily do a fun movie based around the day to day operations of a large space port.

The Jungle Cruise: Make this a comedy and throw some references to the ride in there and you have a great low budget movie.

The Pioneer Players: With the success of Red Dead Redemption and Glee (yes I just mentioned them in the same sentence) the time is great for a western comedy loaded with music.

The Country Bear Jamboree: Somehow you managed to make a Country Bears movie that was just awful. I didn’t think that was possible but you did it. Why not actually do a good story this time?

Expedition Everest: Do I need to say more? Maybe we could actually see the Yeti move in the movie.

Kilimanjaro Safaris – The Hunt for Big Red: The story didn’t work for a ride because we didn’t want a ride we wanted to look at animals. However a movie could work.

That’s just a few ideas. I’m sure there are a ton of others. Just don’t do a Tiki Room movie. That would be awful.

CMDTA on His Own: Swiss Family Tree House

My wife had no desire to do the Swiss Family Tree House. Her feet were blistered and her legs hurt so the idea of climbing the tree house wasn’t going to fly. A few days later I climbed up the Disney Classic.

One thing that the Tree House really needs is for the water to be running. The last two times I’ve done this attraction the water hasn’t been running. The running water really gives this attraction a wow factor.

Even without the water running the tree house still has some charm. I loved the movie and thought idea of living in a tree house of that scope was the best thing ever. Even to this day as I walk through all of replicated rooms and locations I would still love to have a house like that.

Even if you don’t care about Swiss Family Movie you should still check out this attraction. Why? The view you get from the tree house is unique. You’ll be amazed by what you can see from up there. Most people overlook that because they are just running through the attraction. Don’t make that mistake. Take your time and look around. You’ll be glad you did.

Swiss Family Tree House

There have been rumors for years about the Swiss Family Tree House getting closed done for a major overhaul / replacement. I can see why. Anyone under the age of twenty probably has no idea who the Swiss Family Robinson is. Some of the hardcore Disney kids would know and would have seen the movie but all the other kids most likely have no idea why the giant tree house is in Disney World.

Before I get hate mail I have to say this; I hope the tree house does not close. It’s an original. It’s classic Disney. It has a charm that can’t be reproduced. It’s just like Tom Sawyers Island. It could never be built again (for legal reasons).

I can’t see a reason to shut down the tree house. I always see people going through it. It seems fairly popular. There is also the fact that there is nothing like it. I can’t think of another attraction that is similar. You can also consider that people who know nothing about the movie can enjoy the tree house. Sure they might enjoy it more if they saw the movie but it is still an interesting attraction even without the back story.

In a day when we’ve lost classics like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride, Horizons, The World of Motion, Body Wars, Alien Encounter (yes I consider it a classic), and Journey Into Imagination is a joke, it’s nice to know we there are still some timeless classics left in the “World.”

Top Ten Disney Music

Everyone real Disney fan owns at least one Disney theme park music CD. Some people own a few. Some people even have multiple versions of the same song, one from before an overhaul and one after.

The key to the music is its tie to a memory. Chances are when you hear that track you can see yourself there. If you played a lot of the Disney music for someone that has never been to Disney Would they’d think it was trash or at least have a lesser reaction.

I thought it would be fun to come up with my top ten. Remember, this is my top ten. It’s not in order of historical importance or anything like that. No hate mail please (not that I’ve ever gotten an email from this blog).

10 – Golden Dream from the American Adventure Pavilion in Epcot

9 – O’Canada from the Canada Pavilion in Epcot (original - no longer played)

8 – Epcot Entrance Medley from Future World in Epcot (no longer played)

7 – Tiki Room (the original) – The Enchanted Tiki Room – Adventure Land – Magic Kingdom (no longer played)

6 – One Little Spark – Journey Into Imagination – Imagination Pavilion – Epcot (no longer played)

5 – Listen to the Land (original) – Listen to the Land – Land Pavilion – Epcot (no longer played)

4 – Impressions de France – Impressions de France – France Pavilion - Epcot

3 – Grim Grinning Ghosts – The Haunted Mansion – Liberty Square – Magic Kingdom

2 – Theme from Soarin – Soarin – The Land Pavilion- Epcot

1 – How Do You Do? – Splash Mountain – Frontier Land – Magic Kingdom

Honorable Mention

Yo Ho a Pirates Life for Me – Pirates of the Caribbean – Adventure Land – Magic Kingdom

Swisskapolka – Swiss Family Tree House – Adventure Land – Magic Kingdom

There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow – Carousal of Progress – Tomorrow Land – Magic Kingdom

The Tree of Life Theme – Discovery Island – Animal Kingdom

Theme to Honey I Shrunk the Audience – Honey I Shrunk the Audience - Imagination Pavilion – Epcot

Spaceship Earth Medley – Spaceship Earth – Furture World – Epcot

It’s Fun To Be Free – World of Motion – Future World – Epcot (no longer played)

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah – Splash Mountain – Frontier Land – Magic Kingdom

Universe of Energy – Universe of Energy – Future World – Epcot (no longer played)

Electric Water Pageant – Electric Water Pageant – Bay Lake – Magic Kingdom Resort Area

You will notice that some famous tracks are missing. That’s because it’s my list. I think I’d rather listen to a dog bark than listen to “It’s a Small World.” There are also some other oldies that just didn’t make it. Anyone remember – Veggie, Veggie, Fruit, Fruit, Veggie, Fruit…

How to get Banned for Life and Possibly Arrested in Disney World

All of us have had that little voice go off in our heads. The voice that tries to get you to do so something you shouldn’t. Almost everyone is able to control that voice. What if you didn’t? What if you listened to that voice? There are many things that kids and adults alike would try if they let the voice rule. Here are just a few:

1 – Dress like a pirate, pretend to be an audioanimatronic, hide in Pirates, and moon the boats as they go by. Results: This one would get you kicked out faster then you can blink. You’d probably get banned from the parks. I don’t think you’d get arrested but I could be wrong.

2 – Dine with the ghosts in the Haunted Mansion. Lou Mongello would take a life to be able to do this. I always thought it would be funny to sit in one of the chairs with my feet on the table while eating a big sandwich. Results: Absolutely kicked out, maybe banned, maybe arrested.

3 – Kiss a face character. You’d have to have some gall to attempt this one. I feel bad for the face characters to begin with. They have to work so much harder than the normal characters. Normal characters can make faces, stick their tongue out, and maybe mutter softly if someone annoys them. Face characters have no such luxury. Most guys (and probably some women) have thought about this briefly. Results: Kicked out, most likely banned, arrested, and possibly a restraining order. However, if you are attractive, none of the above, you might end up with a phone number (I do not condone attempting this even if you are good looking).

4 – Go swimming in the Rivers of America. What could be better on a hot day? It’s very tempting. Results: Kicked out, maybe banned, and possible serious illness. Why is the last one in there? Do you know how nasty that water probably is? My wife has a term for it. It’s called chucky water.

5 – Hide out and try to stay in the parks after closing. Who hasn’t thought about this ever since Mike Scopa wrote his factious article about falling asleep and waking up after the park has closed, tons of people have tried to figure out how to pull it off. Results: Removed from the parks. My guess is that’s it.

6 – Steal a costume and run around the parks. Ok this would be fun on a cool day. You could really mess with people in a fun way. I wouldn’t be mean or anything but I’d have some fun. Results: Kicked Out, Banned for Life, most likely arrested.

7 – Take a nap on the bed in the Swiss Family Tree House. Other than all of the people staring at you this would be great. What a perfect place to take a nap, great view, breezy, pleasant surroundings. Results: Maybe kicked out unless the cast member was nice.

8 – Sneak into the castle and ride down the zip line. How fun would that be? I guess it’s a mix up considering I don’t know where it ends. Results: Kicked out, banned for life, and chance of serious injury or death. The person who plays Tinker Bell has to weigh under 100 pounds to do the zip line. I’m guessing when you are over 200 the results could be bad.

9 – Start a food fight at one of the buffets. There’s nothing like a good old food fight. Imagine a few hundred people at the Crystal Palace going nuts. Results: If no one knows who started it – nothing. If you get caught you’ll get kicked out but I don’t think you’d get banned for life.

10 – Ride the Tower of Terror, skip the line for every ride, and claim it’s for a medical condition. Then throw a massive, profanity filled, fit when confronted. Results: Banned for Life. I know this because someone tried it.

The Hall of Presidents, Brought to You by Depends.

Disney loves to get sponsors for its rides, shows, and anything else you could stick a name on. A lot of sponsors have come and go throughout the years. One sponsor recently caught me off guard. Hanes sponsors the Rockin Roller Coaster. When I thought about that I started to laugh. The sad part is Hanes is not using this sponsorship to its full potential. What they need to do is open an under ware stand at the exit of the ride and put a sign above it that says “Replace your soiled undies here!” Come on! It’s a trill ride. They could print “Rockin Roller Coaster Replacement Undies” on all of them. They’d make a killing.

That got me thinking of other missed opportunities. Here are a few I’d like to see:

The Hall of Presidents Sponsored by Depends. This is a natural fit. The people who enjoy this ride the most are Depends target demographic. It’s also a long show. They could sell them at the entrance and exit. That way no one would have to worry about taking a potty break. As Jim Carey put it so eloquently in Dumb and Dumber “Just go man.”

The Mad Tea Party sponsored by Schweppes Ginger Ale. Why not a motion sickness pill maker? Simple, that’s not good business. If you sell the pills to someone who is in line, only so many people will buy them. Motion sickness pills don’t really work after the fact so selling them at the exit isn’t a great idea. However, letting everyone get sick and then selling them ginger ale at an increased price is a sure thing. If your sales start to slip, crank up the ride a notch!

It’s a Small World sponsored by Smith and Wesson. If you think this is an odd match you’re not thinking of it from the business side of things. A majority of the people who are dragged onto this ride are doing so because they have kids or some fruit loop who loves dolls in their group. By the end of the ride guess what kind of mood they’ll be in. A gun buying mood!

The Universe of Energy sponsored by Miracle Ear. This is a perfect fit. This ride is so loud that you’ll need a Miracle Ear by the time it’s over. All you need to do is setup a kiosk at the exit and you’ll make millions.

Swiss Family Tree House sponsored by Kraft. Why Kraft? Simple, today’s kids are dumb. Chances are they don’t know who the Swiss Family Robinson are and if they do they probably don’t know they are called Swiss because they are from Switzerland. I bet 80% of people under 25 think they were called Swiss because they were cheese makers. You might as well profit off of their stupidity.