Movies You Didn't See - Prince of Persia

I truly believe the following conversation took place at Disney before production of Prince of Persia started filming:


Joe - Handsome actor for our hero?


Jim - Check!


Joe - Attractive actress for our strong willed leading lady?


Jim - Check!


Joe - Exotic location?


Jim - Check!

Joe - Excessive amounts of special effects?


Jim - Check!


Joe - Good compelling story?


Jim - ...


Joe - Good compelling story?!?


Jim - Well...we have a story.


Joe - What do you mean?!?


Jim - Well it looks like we gave a rabid monkey a pen and told him to go at it but we have a story.


Joe - Well maybe everything else will make up for it...

I think you get the point.  Prince of Persia will hold your attention for about ten minutes and then you'll you think to yourself "this is just awful."

I think I discovered who could make it thorough this movie without being outraged after.  The deaf.  If you couldn't hear this movie, subtitles were not an option, and you could make up the story based on what you were seeing it might be less painful.

I'd go into more detail about the story and performances but it's just not worth it.  I have no desire to waste  your time. If you want to read about it go check out Wikipedia.

I don't think we'll see many more movies like this come out of Disney.  After Prince of Persia, Mars Needs Moms, and The Sorcerers Apprentice, I think Disney has learned that they need a story if their movie is going to be successful. 

Time for another Reboot

Rebooting or remaking a film or turning a ride or video game into a film seems like the in thing to do. My guess is most of the movie studios are too lazy or too scared to come up with something new.

Look at Disney. I think they almost pioneered the idea. We had three movies based off of Pirates of the Caribbean, one movie based on the Haunted Mansion, a movie based on the Price of Persia video game, a new Tron movie, a remake of A Christmas Carroll and a recently announced reboot of the failed Haunted Mansion movie.

If you are going to do something, do something different. Let’s step it up a notch. Here are some rides, movies, and games that would be fun to see:

Swiss Family Robinson: Look how popular Lost was. Now imagine if it didn’t have a crappy ending and it took place a in the 1800’s so you could have pirates too. You already have an attraction in the Magic Kingdom to support it too. Can you say GOLD MINE?

Tom Sawyer: When was the last time someone did a fun Tom Sawyer movie? That’s right you can’t remember can you. That means it’s a good time to do one. Like the Swiss Family Robinson, you already have an attraction for it.

Epic Mickey: If the game is a success don’t wait - bang out an animated film. Who doesn’t want to see Mickey Mouse in a movie?

Space Mountain: You think I’m nuts? Think again. You could easily do a fun movie based around the day to day operations of a large space port.

The Jungle Cruise: Make this a comedy and throw some references to the ride in there and you have a great low budget movie.

The Pioneer Players: With the success of Red Dead Redemption and Glee (yes I just mentioned them in the same sentence) the time is great for a western comedy loaded with music.

The Country Bear Jamboree: Somehow you managed to make a Country Bears movie that was just awful. I didn’t think that was possible but you did it. Why not actually do a good story this time?

Expedition Everest: Do I need to say more? Maybe we could actually see the Yeti move in the movie.

Kilimanjaro Safaris – The Hunt for Big Red: The story didn’t work for a ride because we didn’t want a ride we wanted to look at animals. However a movie could work.

That’s just a few ideas. I’m sure there are a ton of others. Just don’t do a Tiki Room movie. That would be awful.