The Tomorrow Land Transit Authority – Old vs. New

The new voice over for the Tomorrow Land Transit Authority has been out for almost a year. It has had a very mixed launch. Many people prefer the original version. I have to say I’m one of them.

When I rode the TTA in March of 2010 I kept an open mind. I was determined not to let all of the complaints influence me. I rode the TTA about three times over two days to really let it sink in. There were a couple of things that occurred to me right away.

The new TTA feels like you are on a tour. If you have never been to the Magic Kingdom before that might be a good thing but it’s not very creative and it doesn’t fit in with your typical Disney theme. Almost every ride in Disney World has a story. The TTA use to have a story but now it doesn’t. Instead you get an overview. I think that is one of the reasons people really don’t like the new voice over.

Another thing that I noticed is with the new voice over some of the dioramas don’t fit anymore. They use to be fun advertisements but now they are these odd things that are just there. Most people might not have picked up on that but the new TTA feels like it was just thrown together. It just seems odd.

The TTA is still a classic and I do enjoy it but some of the magic has been sucked out of it. Maybe Disney will catch on and adjust it…then again it is Disney.

CMDTA on His Own: The Tiki Room Under New Management

As I stood in line for the Tiki Room I asked myself why I was wasting my free time to see this subpar show. The only answer I could find was the fact that I had done this attraction every single time I had been to Disney World. I think this is the last time I’ll do this ride.

I’m a fan of the original Tiki Room so every time I see the new show it bothers me. It went from charming to loud and obnoxious. I sat in the wrong place. I was right next to a speaker. I really wish I had brought some ear plugs. It was brutally loud.

If you’ve never see this show before, don’t. It’s not worth your time. This ride really needs some help. It needs to be moved to the Polynesian and reverted to its original format.

There is no reason to see the current version of this show. I doubt even old people would could find a way to enjoy this show.

Oh wait! I’ve thought of a time you should see this show. If you are about to suffer heatstroke and can’t make it to the hall of presidents.

Endeavor – Disney Pirate Lair

Just when you thought Disney had done everything it could to tell the average Joe that he wasn’t important, they went and announced “Golden Oaks.”

To be honest I was offended when I heard Disney was building a development for the uber rich. If Walt was alive he’d be fuming mad right now. Was it just me or didn’t he want Disney World to be for families and a place everyone could enjoy? I didn’t think he wanted it as playground for the rich.

I’ve come up with a way to ruin Disney’s plan. It’s a rather simple plan – A hundred or so of us pool our money, buy one of the homes, and make it a giant pirate lair.

Have you ever had a bad neighbor? We’d redefine what a bad neighbor is. Pirates don’t cut the lawn. They pass out in the yard. They keep random livestock. They brew grog in the back yard. They have noisy parties all night long. You also have to remember – Pirates have cannons.

Let’s see how long property values stay steady when we set the cannon off every morning when the sun rises.

Don’t think of this a waste of money. This would be an investment. We’d sell tickets for the parties to vacationers. We’d also sell tickets during the day just to tour an actual pirate lair. We’d also pillage the nearby homes after they are abandoned because of our shenanigans.

So let’s recap – Disturbing the peace, corrupting the public, theft, destruction of property, public drunkenness, and keeping livestock in a residential area. I think Walt would approve!

Photo of the Week - It's Not a Monkey

Disney has always tried to combine learning and attractions when it can. The original Epcot was proof of this. You can still find examples throughout the parks. Animal Kingdom tends to be one of the best places outside of Innovations to find attractions that try to teach.

Disney Takes Action Against Stinky Guests

I really wondered why Disney decided to remodel the logs on Splash Mountain. I thought if you were going to remodel the logs you would have made them a little roomier or redesign the front to prevent people from getting soaked during the drops. After all that’s what a sane person would do.

Disney decided to redesign the logs so more water would fly up and hit everyone in the face. They redesigned it to really soak people. Why? That makes no sense.

I decided to do what I do best, I looked into it.

As you know Disney tries to be very PC even when being PC isn’t very PC. They often think of the minority when making decisions. That can be a good thing. It allows a vast majority of people to enjoy Disney World.

According to my fake sources, the Splash Mountain log redesign was the result of a mandate that was given to Disney Imagineering. They were told to find a way to reduce the number of stinky people in the Parks.

Many people are offended by body odor. It can make people sick and generally ruins a good time. Other people have allergies and have a bad reaction when they are stuck next to someone who smells like they bathed in cologne, such as the cast from Jersey Shore. The best way to counter smelly people is to give them a bath / shower.

The Imagineers already had a good anti stinky person ride in the form or Kali River Rapids. Even if the guests were wearing ponchos enough water makes it through to be effective. In the Magic Kingdom Splash Mountain has been redesigned to give everyone a bath. In Epcot the boats on Maelstrom are going to be redesigned with holes in the front to blast people with water when they go down the drop. In DHS the Tarzan scene of the Great Movie Ride is going to be replaced with a scene from Back Draft. The fire will be on one side of the ride vehicle and the fire fighters, including fully functional fire hoses, will be on the other side.

When all of the changes are in place Disney World will be a wetter but less stinky place.

Photo of the Week - Hall of Presidents - Insane Boots

Disney World has some odd stuff in it but I don't think you'll find anything stranger than the boots George W. Bush wore during his inauguration. These boots are just insane. You can find these and other presidential artifacts at the Hall of Presidents.

Giving Pooh Another Shot

I first did the Pooh attraction in late 2008. It was ok. I wasn’t impressed at all and thought it wasn’t better than the attraction that it replaced.

I did Pooh again in the beginning of 2010. Guess what…I’m still not impressed. Pooh isn’t bad it just isn’t good. It seems very cookie cutter and doesn’t stand out. The artwork is ok, the story is ok, and that’s the problem. Everything is just ok.

Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride was a very different experience. It was the only dark ride that I know of that had two separate tracks that did not mirror itself. You would get a totally different ride depending on what track you ended up on. Beyond that, on how many rides do you die and go to hell? That was the story on Mr. Toad’s wild ride.

Kids and adults could enjoy Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. The Pooh ride is very much geared towards kids. If your kids like Pooh they will love this ride. If you are an adult that loves pooh you might like this ride. If you don’t like Pooh, only do this ride if there is little or no wait.

CMDTA on His Own: Swiss Family Tree House

My wife had no desire to do the Swiss Family Tree House. Her feet were blistered and her legs hurt so the idea of climbing the tree house wasn’t going to fly. A few days later I climbed up the Disney Classic.

One thing that the Tree House really needs is for the water to be running. The last two times I’ve done this attraction the water hasn’t been running. The running water really gives this attraction a wow factor.

Even without the water running the tree house still has some charm. I loved the movie and thought idea of living in a tree house of that scope was the best thing ever. Even to this day as I walk through all of replicated rooms and locations I would still love to have a house like that.

Even if you don’t care about Swiss Family Movie you should still check out this attraction. Why? The view you get from the tree house is unique. You’ll be amazed by what you can see from up there. Most people overlook that because they are just running through the attraction. Don’t make that mistake. Take your time and look around. You’ll be glad you did.

The Cast Member Who Threw Me Under the Bus

My wife doesn't like Disney. I've always gotten a guilt trip when I book a Disney vacation. I thought my last trip in February 2010 would be my last trip. I couldn't think of any way to convince my wife to go back.

When we were checking in at the Boardwalk the cast member tried to talk Disney with my wife. It didn't work too well but she managed to get my wife to say she liked Epcot. The cast member then asked if she had ever been to the Food and Wine Festival. After the cast member explained what it was my wife asked me why I had never told her about it. Wasn't I a Disney blogger?

I'd heard of Catch 22 situations before but had never found myself in one. I could say I hadn't heard of it before but she'd know I was lying or I could say I didn't think it was something she would have wanted to do and suffer the consequences.

That might not sound like a big deal but you don’t know my wife. She records about three to four hours a week of food shows a week. She records:

Top Chef

Kitchen Nightmares

Next Iron Chef

Next Food Network Star

Iron Chef

Last Restaurant Standing

The F Word

Chopped

Food Network Challenge

Good Eats

Man vs. Food

Food Wars

Dinner Impossible

That’s not counting the shows she doesn’t record. If I ever blocked the food network on our TV you’d find me in pieces. That’s assuming you could find me at all.

After she cooled down she started planning what week would fit in with her work schedule and also thought about who else would want to go.

That cast member really threw me under the bus, but at least I might be going back to Disney World in 2011.

Bad Backs and DIsney World

I just flew into lovely (term used loosely) Baltimore. The approach was so bumpy I thought I was Kilimanjaro Safaris. That got me thinking. I have a bad back. I had back surgery when I was 17 and since then it hasn't taken much to put my back out.

As you know many rides in Disney World warn that people with back problems should not ride the ride. I've been on everything and have found that some are rough on the back while others are fine. What rides would you really warn someone with a bad back about?

These are the ones that made my short list.

Kilimanjaro Safaris is bad. Really bad, and there is no good reason for it. They thought making the road really bumpy would mimic a real safari. What it did was make it hard take pictures and make it brutal for anyone with a bad back.

Space Mountain is rough but any coaster built that long ago is rough. Space Mountain was built just before computers became common place in roller coaster design.

Dinosaur might be the worst of any ride in Disney World. It's in the dark so you have no idea where you are going or what direction you are going in. This ride will whip you.

Parts of Test Track will rough you up. For the most part on the rough road section is bad. The rest isn't too bad.

Star Tours - enough said.

Stitch's Great Escape is so bad it hurts. Doesn't really hurt you back, just your head.

I did not put Big Thunder Mountain, Rocking Roller Coaster, or Everest on my list because they tend to be some smooth that they don't bother me at all. They are the product of the computer age. Big Thunder was one of the first and it shows.

Everyone is different. I've put my back out bending over but have had no problem picking up my 80 pound dog. So that leads to another issue. G force rides. For some people these are a killer for others it's no problem.

Mission Space - This doesn't bother my but it will compress your spine. If that tends to bother you avoid this ride.

Everest - Some parts late in the ride pull some positive G forces which could bother people.

Tower of Terror - In this case it's the G forces at the bottom of the drops. They will compress your spine.

Photo of the Week - Cake Castle

Disney has done some odd things over the years but this has to rank up there. For the Magic Kingdoms 25th anniversary they turned Cinderella's Castle into a cake. From what I've found people either loved the cake castle or they hated it with a passion. I really didn't mind it too much.

CMDTA on His Own: The Hall of Presidents

This is the first in the “CMDTA on His Own” series. One day on my last Disney trip my wife took a morning off while I ran around like a mad man. I did this to do all the attractions my wife refused to do.

The first attraction was the Hall of Presidents. My wife refused to go on this attraction unless she was dead tired and needed to take a nap.

I hit the first show of the day. The waiting room for the Hall is nice. It has a number of fun presidential artifacts including some outrageous boots George W. Bush wore during his inauguration. If I was him I would have kept those boots a secret.

Other than the boots the rest of the artifacts are amazing and show a different side to some of the presidents.

As you walk into the theater you wonder how a theater this size could hide In the Magic Kingdom. You’d never realize how big the theater is from the outside of the building. It’s nice inside too. If it’s a hot day this is the perfect place to get out of the heat and find a comfortable seat.

The show is greatly improved over the previous version. In my opinion it’s better than the American Adventure. The American Adventure comes off as overly negative and it seems to focus on the wrong things but that’s a story for another post.

The worst part about the show is the Obama animatronic. It’s not that he’s bad it’s just a let down after George Washington and Abraham Lincoln. It’s also not a flattering representation of Obama.

I’d recommend that everyone do this show at least once but keep in mind children might be bored stiff by this attraction. Also I wonder what a non-American would think about it. It’s interesting for an American but I think if I was from another country I’d be bored.