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Tuesday, June 23, 2009

100 Posts – What a Fun but Colossal Waste of Time!


First of all I want to thank everyone who has inspired my love Disney World, my rants, demented stories, and fake news. I’m talking about:

My Wife (for not reading this blog because she’d kill me if she did)

Len “The best alien you’ll ever meet” Testa

Matt “It’s A Conspiracy” Hochberg

Mike “Everyone’s Favorite Cyborg” Scopa

Mike “Da Criminal Mastermind” Newell

Annette “Overlord” Owens

Deb “Merryweather” Wills

Ricky Brigante

“Skipper” Ben

Jim Hill

Lou “When do we eat?” Mongello (I’ll do post for anyone who knows where that quote is from – you pick the topic)

Samantha Brown

The entire gang at the DIS

Nathan Rose

Van at Netcot

The Burping Troll of Walmart

The people in the Rochester NH Police Log (always good for a laugh)

My parents for going into debt up to their eyeballs to take my sister and I to Disney World when we were kids

Deb “Debinator” Hawes for laughing even when my ideas stink

Mara “Frosts My Bananas” Robertson

Robin “Re Re” Rainville

Oh and of course I have to thank everyone who’s wasted their valuable time reading my crappy blog. It makes me happy!

For my 100 post I thought I’d do a review of the previous 99 posts. Some, I forgot I even wrote, some made me laugh (how sad is that), and some made me want to delete them but if I did I wouldn’t have 100.

This is a great time to catch up if you haven’t already!

Post #1
Bob Iger’s Bonus….Your Alcohol Purchases at Work…or Maybe Not
This was a critical overview of the outrageous alcohol prices in Disney World and I offered some creative, maybe offensive, and possibly illegal ways around them.

Post #2
Disney and Miracle Ear – The Conspiracy to Deafen America!
This was an attempt at explaining why many of the rides in Disney World are so insanely loud. I offered a number of humorous and obviously fake explanations.

Post #3
I’ll look that gift horse in the mouth!
A true story about what I got during the “Year of a Million Dreams” promotion. This is also the first post where I express my dislike for most parades.

Post #4
YEEEAAA!! Oh wait….it’s a parade…
I explain why I don’t like most parades and I also list the Disney World Parades….Epcot still has the best one.

Post #5
Podcasts
I review all of the podcasts I listen to and rank them on a number of factors include “cheese.” I’ve only started listen to one other podcast since this post. That makes eight of them…I think. I need to get a life. That’s as much as 14hrs a week and growing all the time thanks to Lou.

Post #6
Rides That Need to Retire
This post was about rides that I can’t stand, have been ruined by Disney, or have become outdated.

Post #7
Yak and YACK and Yeti
This was my first restaurant review. Review isn’t a good description. Rant might be better. Easily one of the worst meals I’ve had in a long time.

Post #8
We Need to be PC Because It’s PC to be PC
One of my person favorites – this post was an overview of PC gone crazy. Warning this one might offend you.

Post #9
The California Grill
This was my second restaurant review which is a real review and not a rant. This covered our dinner at the California Grill which turned out to be the second best restaurant we’ve ever eaten at.

Post #10
The Hall of Presidents, Brought to You by Depends!
Another of my favorites – this post offered a number of potential sponsors for rides based on an effective product – ride match. This one is rather demented.

Post #11
HOLY POO FLINGING MONKEYS! It’s Dark Wing Duck!
I reviewed the mania that is character greeting in this post. This post had a number of firsts including my first use of the term “Poo Flinging Monkey’s” in my blog. It was also the first time I expressed how I find face characters creepy.

Post #12
Rides You Will Never See
I do an overview of rides that you will never see in Disney World even though some of them would be great! If you don’t like dark humor avoid this post. One of the ideas is rather…mean…

Post #13
The Deluxe Dining Plan – My stomach hurts…
I do a review of the Deluxe Dining plan and offer suggestions that are not cost effective but allow you to use all of your credits. If you are a member of Weight Watchers – don’t read this post.

Post #14
Disney Worlds Unofficial Marathons
I explain what the unofficial marathons are, where you can join them, and even offer a few new ones that will soon catch on. I believe this is the first time I make fun of WDW Today regular and Unofficial Guide co-author Len Testa.

Post #15
Citricos…Where’s the Burping Troll When You Need Her?
In my review of Citricos I explain why it was an unpleasant, awful end to our vacation. I also mention the Burping Troll of Wal-Mart for the first time in this post.

Post #16
It Got a Flat Tire so We Bought a New Car
In this post I criticize Disney for canning rides that beloved for good and not so good reasons.

Post #17
I Don’t Even Like Hats…
This is a classic case of self deprecation. I make fun of myself for always buying a hat when I go to Disney World. I don’t wear hats. I don’t really like hats but I always end up with a hat. I go over the hats from the bad to the just plain awful!

Post #18
It’s Good…Let’s Ruin It!
My first Disney restaurant view for a restaurant I had previous experience with. This is a review of Artist Point and how someone flushed it down the toilet.

Post #19
It’s the Little Things
An overview of how the small things make all the difference in Disney even when big things are overlooked.

Post #20
The Liberty Tree Tavern
My review of the Liberty Tree Tavern located in the Magic Kingdom.

Post #21
Finding a Gem
My personal experience of being totally blown away by rides I thought were going to stink worse than rotting meat.

Post #22
Are you 23?
I do a completely demented list of possible predictions for D23. Warning this one may offend some people.

Post #23
Mmmmm…Tonga Toast….
My review of the Kona Café and one of the best foods I’ve ever eaten. I should have worn my stretchy pants that day.

Post #24
The Burping Troll of Walmart
My first non-Disney Post – This post explains who the Burping Troll of Wal-Mart is and how she got that name.

Post #25
That Music Is AWFUL…but I Love It
I discuss the music found in Disney World and why we like it.

Post #26
What’s up With the World Showcase?
I whine about how the world showcase hasn’t added a county in recent years. I also recommend some new countries. Some are serious some are total jokes. Warning this one has some very dark humor in it.

Post #27
The Hochberg Conspiracy
Part One in the WDW Today series - The now legendary story about Matt Hochberg’s so called wedding, the offer of a lifetime, and a violent death race across Disney World. This was the first time I made fun of Matt. This post also spawned a number of other posts, each focusing on a different member of the Disney Community. This was also the first post that received a comment. Matt has the dubious distinction of being the first ever commenter. I still have no idea how he found it.

Post #28
How to fix the worst ride in the “World”
In a very serious post I explain how Disney can fix Stich’s Great Escape without blowing a lot of money. I’m serious. There is hope for this ride.

Post #29
Where’s the Booze?
One of my personal favorites – In this post I explain why no alcohol is served in the Magic Kingdom. Keep the kids away from this post. Do not read this post if you are an alcoholic as you may find some of the humor offensive.

Post #30
Narcoossee’s: The Best Restaurant at the Grand Floridian
This is my review of the second best restaurant in Disney World.

Post #31
D(ouh!) 23
A rant about what D23 ended up being.

Post #32
The DVC Era
I do a serious overview of the Disney Vacation Club, how it works, and who should consider it.

Post #33
Don’t Forget the Gold Bond!
Despite the name this is a serious post. It offers a number of good recommendations and reminders to maximize the enjoyment and minimize bad stuff during your vacation.

Post #34
American Idol is in Disney World! Great…
I make fun of the new American Idol attraction. As if that was difficult…

Post #35
Mickey’s MMA Festival
Yes this is as insane as it sounds. I propose a number of MMA bouts between Disney characters and propose fake reasons for them.

Post #36
Meet and Greet areas are EVIL!
I complain about character meet and greets…sounds great doesn’t it?

Post #37
How to Fix D23
I give some very valid suggestions to make D23 far more profitable and far better.

Post #38
It’s Prime Time
This is my review of the Prime Time Café.

Post #39
The Tower of Terror Cover-up!
One of my personal favorites - This is a hybrid post. It relates a very humorous true story involving the tower of terror and then adds a ridiculous post story follow up.

Post #40
The Wow Factor
I review a few of the things that make you say “wow” in Disney World.

Post #41
Girl Power!
This is a very goofy post about a proposed video game involving female Disney characters fighting each other. I know that sounds perverted but it’s really not.

Post #42
Disney’s Untapped Asset
A humorous post about how Disney can increase their profits during an economic downturn by utilizing their surveillance footage.

Post #43
Rides I’ve Never Been On
A surprising list of rides I’ve never ridden and why I’ve never ridden them.

Post #44
The Animal Kingdom
I do a review of the Animal Kingdom. I list the good and I list the bad. Overall I defend Animal Kingdom as a valid member of the Disney Theme Parks.

Post #45
Pleasure Island
I offer recommendations for the now defunct Pleasure Island

Post #46
Mike Scopa’s Dark Secret
Part Two in the WDW Today series - In an over the top work of fiction I reveal the truth about Mike Scopa’s age and his troubling past.

Post #47
Disney Books You’ll Never See
Keep the kids away from this one. This is one of my personal favorites. It’s a list of just plain demented fake Disney books.

Post #48
I’m Not Fat, I’m Big…Ah who am I Kidding…
I make fun of myself for being over weight but I also blame Disney for making everything smaller….

Post #49
Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy...
I relate my experience with Happy Limo.

Post #50
How to Survive a Tough Economy
I offer some ideas on how Disney can survive a bad economy. None of the ideas are serious. None are even feasible.

Post #51
Disney’s Movie Club
I review the Disney Movie Club and weigh the pros and cons.

Post #52
New England Isn’t a Country…It’s Not a State Either
This is the first post that was inspired by Matt Hochberg’s inability to pronounce anything Native American. I explain what New England is and give some details of the states that make it up.

Post #53
Len Testa – Tequila – The Shocking Connection
Part Three of the WDW Today series – In this ridiculous piece of bad fiction I explain why Len is the way he is and explain his love of tequila. Just keep him away from the Moxie. Somehow Len found this post and left a comment making him the second commenter ever. I shall call you number two!

Post #54
Splash Mountain
I do a scene by scene overview of my favorite ride.

Post #55
Photo Pass
I do an overview of Disney’s Photo Pass and compare it to the photographers found on cruise lines.

Post #56
I Took the Wrong Right
This is a post that was inspired by one of Mike Scopa’s blog posts. I relate an outrageous story about accidently finding myself in the ultilidors while looking for a bathroom.

Post #57
“Flip for Helmets” Innovations Newest Attraction
This is my favorite post. I smile when I read it. One reason I like it so much is because the opening line was used almost word for word a week later when the new Raytheon exhibit was announced.

Post #58
Paak Daa Kah Ova Deah – A Pronunciation Guide
The second post influenced by Matt Hochberg’s complete inability to pronounce New England names. I give an over view of how to speak New England. I was originally going to do a third installment for Matt but someone left a not so pleasant comment on this post.

Post #59
The Dark Side of Being a Character
This is a fake, Hard Copy style report of the hazing and gangs that can be found among the Disney characters.

Post #60
One Big Dysfunctional Family
This is a review of WDW Today’s April live show.

Post #61
New Addition to Star Wars Weekends
This is a fake news release of a new Star Wars attraction at DHS.

Post #62
Don’t Mess With Mike Newell!
Part Four in the WDW Today series – This dark story explains the demented genius that is Mike Newell.

Post #63
Remy Killed in Tragic Misunderstanding
Keep your kids away from this one! This is a piece of dark humor revolving around Chefs De France that some (term used loosely) might find offensive.

Post #64
The Relocation Program
Here I explain how we can save some of the attractions that have been rumored to be on the chopping block.

Post #65
The Plus Side of a Bad Economy
In this post I explain why the bad economy has a sliver lining.

Post #66
The Problem With Deluxe
Here I explain why the deluxe resorts are a double edged sword.

Post #67
Three Little Pigs Placed Under Quarantine
In this fake news flash I explain how the Three Little Pigs have been incarcerated and a massive manhunt is on for Piglet because of Swine Flu frenzy.

Post #68
Don’t Say No
In this post I relate some experiences related to volunteering at Disney World attractions.

Post #69
We Can Do Better Than Water Boarding
Don’t worry it’s not as offensive as it sounds. I offer humane forms of torture related to Disney World.

Post #70
How to get Banned for Life and Possibly Arrested in Disney World
This is one of my favorites – I explain a number of fun yet dangerous ideas of things to do in Disney World. Basically a bunch of things the voice in your head tries to get you to do.

Post #71
Special Report – It’s a Small World Overhaul
I break the news about the upcoming “Small World” overhaul. Yes it’s fake and yes it’s demented.

Post #72
The Return of Flash Mountain
I discuss the news that the photo filter guy is being removed and its possible consequences.

Post #73
Annette Owens – Butt Kicker
Part Five in the WDW Today series – I explain the truth about Annette Owens and her Army.

Post #74
The Apps
I do a review of a number of iPhone Apps currently available in the iTunes store.

Post #75
The Contemporary
This is my review of my favorite Disney resort, the Contemporary resort.

Post #76
The Hit or Miss Ride
This is a review of some amazing experiences on the Jungle Cruise.

Post #77
Going Green with Pig Poop
This is a fake news story about Disney’s newest power plant.

Post #78
The Wave – Tree Hugging Hippies Unite!
My review of the Wave restaurant. As you can tell I was impressed…

Post #79
The Mascot
I explain who the dog on the main page of my the blog is.

Post #80
Things That Amaze Me Volume One: The Omni Mover System
Here I talk about the Omni Mover System and why it’s one of the best ride systems ever!

Post #81
Violence Erupts at Star Wars Weekends!
An over the top fake news story that anyone who loves Star Wars will love!

Post #82
The First Video!
I announce my first YouTube Disney video which was created win photos I took on my trip. It’s better than it sounds….really!

Post #83
Second Video Now Loaded!
I announce my second YouTube Disney video. This one is better than the first one. At least it got more hits.

Post #84
The Gap
An unintentionally depressing post about the odds of The Cousin Mickey Doesn’t Talk About making it back to Disney World.

Post #85
How Does Deb Wills Do It?
A sequel to the WDW Today series – I explain how Deb Wills does so much and reveal her true identity.

Post #86
Things That Amaze Me: Volume Two – The Monorail
I do an overview of the Monorail system and relate a couple of experiences.

Post #87
What About Lou?
In this demented, humorous story we learn how Lou became a Disney trivia mogul and why he likes to eat so much.

Post #88
Disney Announces Who Their Actual Fans Are
This is a humorous fake news story that makes fun of Disney and accuses Annette Owns of trying to weaken Disney in an attempt to take it over.

Post #89
Up
My overview of some of the most powerful scenes from the Disney / Pixar animated film “Up.”

Post #90
Kermit and the Muppets vs. Mickey and Friends
I describe a parade I’d actually watch in this post. This isn’t a joke. I think it’s a great idea J.

Post #91
Top Ten Disney Music
In this post I explain what my top ten Disney Music tracks are and also award honorable mentions.

Post #92
Things That Amaze Me Volume 3: Hidden Details
In this post I cover some of the overlooked details like the color of the walk ways and how the entrance to the Magic Kingdom is similar to a movie theater.

Post #93
Authorities Track Maple Syrup Abuse Trend to Disney Community
One of my personal favorites, this post is a fake news story about an epidemic of maple syrup abuse across America.

Post #94
Some People Are Idiots!
A rant about people who have been complaining about Tiana in the new Princess and the Frog movie.

Post #95
The Elderly and the Parks
This one is a touching (it’s my only touching post) overview of whether to bring elderly relatives with you when you visit Disney World.

Post #96
Pirate Arrested for Urinating in Public
A humorous fake news story about an alcoholic, audio-animatronic pirate with apparent bladder problems.

Post #97
The Curse of Stich
I reveal an amazing connection between the Boston Red Sox and the Disney character Stich.

Post #98
Theme Parks at Night: Epcot
This is the first of a series of posts regarding the theme parks at night. Originally the Magic Kingdom was going to be the first but I accidently deleted the draft and have to rewrite it.

Post #99
The DIS – WDW Mafia’s Legal Front
This is an outrageous, factious, story about the WDW Mafia and their legal front, the gang at the DIS.

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