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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

WDW Today Starts Their Fifth Season without a Fatality

WDW Today has started their fifth season. Even more amazing is the fact that no one has died during an episode yet. Why is that an amazing fact? Consider the following facts.

Twice, not once, but twice the members of podcast ate around the world. You’d think after nearly rupturing their stomachs the first time common sense would have taken over. I will say that those episodes have been informative. If not for those episodes we wouldn’t know the danger of nachos, the pain of peach tea slime, or the joys of chugging maple syrup.

Mexico has a tequila bar and Len is still breathing. Despite his best efforts Len is still around. That’s a good thing too. Without Len our knowledge of alcohol in Disney World would be sub par. We also wouldn’t know the joys of WDW Transportation.

Scopa is still alive. That’s quite an accomplishment. Let’s see how good you look when you’re passing Master Yoda in the year count. He hasn’t laughed himself to death either. Sometimes he’s come close. We’re all happy Scoppa is still with us too. Without him we wouldn’t know about Scopa Towers, the Scopa special, or how to treat ancient people in the parks.

Matt hasn’t died of a heart attack on Dinosaur. We really need to get a camcorder and tape Matt next time he’s on Dinosaur. I’d pay to see that. Just don’t forget to bring a change of underwear for him. We all love Matt because he makes us feel smart when he tries to pronounce any name from New England. I’m sure he does other stuff too but that’s the most important thing.

Newell is still around despite his eating at Hooters everyday. We all know Newell loves Hooters. Matt told us so. If you eat at Hooters everyday it’s going to take a toll on your health. Without Newell we wouldn’t know that the human stomach can fit an entire order of nachos and still fit in a food item from every other country. He also brought us the bell which we all miss.

Annette didn’t choke to death on glitter. If you think that’s nothing, you haven’t been to that awful boutique in the castle. Annette was kidnapped, forced into the chair, then accosted. Through her incredible grit she survived. Which is good, we need someone to inhale helium balloons, be the whipping boy, and make sure the boys take at least one bath a week.

Only time will tell if they can make it through another season without, massive property damage, serious injuries, or being sued.

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