Lightning Lane Is Not a Cash Grab

 I don't often defend Disney, but this time I will.  

People have been moaning and complaining about Fastpass going away and Lightning Lane replacing it.  I look at that move and applaud Disney for finally doing it.  It is the right thing to do.  

How can I say that?

The answer is simple.  People will pay it and people will keep going to the parks.  This move will only increase their bottom line.  No amount of complaining is going to change that.  Disney does not care if you complain.  You can complain all you want and Disney will ignore it.  Why wouldn't they?

I guarantee you that Disney has dumped a hefty amount of money and research into analytics.  Over the last ten years they have progressively increased the profit margin on everything at the parks and analyzed the impact.  During that time, profits increased.  They did not find a price cliff.  They did not see any meaningful repercussions.

If people are still going to pour into the parks, why not charge for Lightning Lane?  There is no reason not to.  They owe it to their share holders to deliver the most profit possible, over the longest term possible.

What if people stop going because of this?

Well first, that's not going to happen.  People have complained for years, but kept going.   Second, Disney might actually be happy with less people going to the parks, so long as their bottom line is not impacted.  You'd need to see a significant number of people take a stand for Disney to take any action. So, again, nothing is going to happen.  People will not choose another vacation option in meaningful enough numbers to have any kind of impact. 

Do not call this a cash grab.  A cash grab is taking large short term profits in exchange for long term profits.  Cash grabs are extremely short sighted and ignore anything in the long term.  Disney has done their research.  There is no doubt they have a good grasp on the amount of money they are going to make, and how many fans it will cost them.  The profits are worth the collateral damage.  

  

It's Your Fault You Now Need to Pay For Fastpass

Every year, Disney raised the prices of tickets and annual passes.  Every year you complained.

Every year, Disney slowly gutted the dining plan.  Every year you complained.

Every year, Disney slowly cut in park entertainment and amenities.  Every year you complained.

Now Disney has killed Fastpass and replaced it with a paid version.  I know your going to complain, and guess what?  It's all your fault.

You might disagree with that statement or be offended by it.  Honestly, I hope it does offend you.  

Before I go further, let me clarify who I am talking to here.  I am talking to the people who complain, but take no action.  Like a addict, they ignore quality or cost to get their fix.

I know there is another group who 100% agrees with me.  They are ones like me.  The ones, who instead of complaining, took action.

Back in 2013 I wrote a blog entry called "Taking My Ears Off."  In that post I outlined seven things that motivated me to stop giving money to Disney Parks.  They were things that transitioned Disney from an expensive, but high value vacation, to not the best value vacation anymore.   If I was to write that post today, my list would be a lot longer than seven items.

If you complained but kept giving Disney Parks your money, you did nothing but waste your time.  Why would Disney do anything differently?   Their actions were making their bottom line grow.  Until that changes, Disney will keep cutting quality, keep increasing prices, and keep finding ways to milk as much money as possible out of people.  

If you want anything to change you have to take action.  Stop giving Disney Parks your money and you might see things change.  

I haven't stepped foot in a Disney Park since 2011.  Do I miss it?  Of course I miss it.  Disney World was unlike anything else.  

If I feel that way why haven't I gone back?  Because Disney Parks are not the best value anymore.  For 60 years they were, but that is no longer the case.   The cuts have changed Disney World into a shell of what it once was. 

I know some people are going to disagree with that, and honestly I don't care.  Those people are not my peers.  They are either so addicted to Disney that they can't see the forest through the trees or are in an income bracket far above mine, and feel no impact from the price increases.

You might think I'm a Disney basher, but I'm not.  I'm still a Disney fan.  I still listen to podcasts, follow Disney news, subscribe to Disney Plus, and so on.  I simple don't give Disney Parks my money anymore, and that will continue until the parks become a good value again.

Do I think I will ever step foot in a Disney Park again?  The part of my brain that embraces fantasy says yes, but realistic side of me knows it's very unlikely.  After what people have accepted, I can't see Disney doing anything that would keep people from going to the parks. 

Disney and HBO Do One Thing Right

When has the term "binge" ever been a good thing?

People will point to "Binge Watching" as being a positive "Binge".

For older shows, I agree.  It can be fun to watch ten episodes of the Simpsons on a day off. It's mindless and lets you relax.

What about new shows?

Binge watching new shows is awful.  I mean awful.  Remember all the shows you loved as a kid?  The ones where you couldn't wait until the following week to see what happened?  With binge watching, you will never feel that.  It takes away all anticipation. 

Anticipation is a multiplier.  When something is good, anticipation makes it a lot better.  When it's bad, it's worse.

In an age when Netflix and Amazon dump an entire season at a time, it's refreshing to for Disney +, HBO, and Showtime to release one episode a week.

For a week, people talk about it, anticipate it, and grow it to something bigger than it is on its own.

I wish all streaming services would do an episode a week.  A lot of younger people have no idea how many memories are made by waiting and anticipating.

Thank you Disney, HBO, Showtime, and everyone else who releases one episode at a time.

Disney Plus - The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Like ten million other Disney fans, I signed up for Disney +.  If you are still wondering if you should too, hopefully this breakdown will help you to make a decision.

The Good

 - Massive catalog of all things Disney, and more.  There is only one thing missing and I'll get into that later.

 - Overall decent quality.  Pretty surprising for a new service. When compared to other new online services at roll out, this one has been rather solid.  It's not perfect, but it's good.

 - The value is very good.  Beyond just the back catalog, the new shows are very good.

 - The Imagineering show is exceptional and inspiring. 

 - The Madalorian is the best Star Wars thing Disney has ever done.  The only one that comes close is Rogue One.  It's far better than The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi.


The Bad

 - The search function is not good.  If you search "rock climbing" you will not get Free Solo.  How?  That's just an example of some of the odd results, or lack of results, that you will find.

 - It's missing some titles, for now.  Just and example - the Matterhorn.  I remember seeing it as a kid.  I looked for it.  If it is there, the search is too broken to find it.

 - Things are not organized well.  You really have to go digging into the menus to find anything that Disney does not have on the main page.  Even then, a lot of things can only be found via the search function.

 - Adding things to your watch list is straight forward.  Removing them is not.  The only way I found to remove it, is to open the item, check the + like you would to add it, then click the check box that appears.  It's just odd.


The Ugly

 - The racist double standard.  It's no surprise that Song of the South is not available to stream, but with Disney +, Disney just undermined it's biggest reason for not having it. 

I have seen and I own a copy of Song of the South.  Parts of it are racist.  There is no arguing that.  But, here is the problem - Davy Crockett is much worse.   I saw it a few times as a kid.  Now watching it as an adult, I was shocked.  I didn't remember how racist it was.  It's depiction of Native Americans, and the terms used for them, is utterly offensive.

Disney knows it has a lot of offensive content.  To handle this, they provide a warning on some titles.  I applaud this.  Too often Disney approach has been to sweep things under the rug and pretend something never happened.   This is not a healthy approach.  It takes away any opportunity to learn from those mistakes and use them as teaching tools for future generations.

Will Disney release Song of the South?  No.  Davy Crockett is worse, but it does not have the notoriety of Song of the South.

 - No vacation videos.  I'm talking about the Stacy videos, the promotional videos, and the vacation planning videos.  Maybe they are hidden by the bad search, but I don't think they are there.  I will admit that this one is personal.  Disney + has so much nostalgia on it, that this would push it over the top.  Imagine being able to see the parks as they were when you first went.   This seems like a big missed opportunity.

The Last of His Kind

I've done posts regarding Orange Band before. He was the last Dusky Seaside Sparrow who died at the now defunct Discovery Island in Disney World.

That bird was wiped out by man's impact on the environment.  By the time we realized what we had done, it was too late.

I was recently reminded of this story in a powerful and disturbing way.

I was recently asked to review a book from National Geographic entitled "The Photo Ark Vanishing: The World's Most Vulnerable Animals"

My heart jumped in my throat when I hit a page 43.  There was Orange Band.

I apologize if the following photo disturbs anyone, but for most of us, this is the only way we can see Orange Band.

Where Does The Last Jedi Rank - Ranking the Star Wars Movies

No fluff this time.  Just a the rankings.  If you want to see why The Last Jedi falls where it does, check out my overview of it.

1 - The Empire Strikes Back

2 - A New Hope

3 - Rogue One

4 - The Force Awakens

5 - Revenge of the Sith

6 - Return of the Jedi

7 - The Last Jedi

8 - Attack of the Clones

9 - The Phantom Menace

Why I Didn't Like The Last Jedi

I know a lot of people loved The Last Jedi.  I am not one of them.  Let me explain why before you rip me apart.

WARNING - SPOILERS!!!!

1 - The Fin story is hot garbage.

Fin is a great character. Rose is a great character.  Put together they are even better.  So what should you do with two great characters?  Send them off on a stupid plot point, so you can harvest some stuff off if later.

I sat there watching this and wondered - Wait...you can get Finn and company off of the ship, unnoticed, but you couldn't have them save a few people in process?  Also, sending them off to find some code breaker, is just dumb.  A much better idea, would have been to have Rose accomplish the same thing with her engineer skills.  If this was Star Trek - Scotty, Jordi, or another team of engineering would have found a way.

2 - Leia needed to die. 

Instead of having an epic send off for a beloved character,  you killed the newbie.  Why?  Why even introduce Laura Dern's character?  Killing her off makes the whole comma thing seems like a total waste.

3 - Why kill Snoke?

This made no sense to me.  He wasn't in the two movies for a more than a combined ten minutes.  What a complete waste of a character.  He was a mystery until he showed up in this one.  He showed up just in time to kill him off. 

4 - People tend to get wiser with age - Unless you are Luke Skywalker.

Luke is now in his sixties and he's beyond dumb.  I know some people love how he showed weakness.  You can do that without being a total Muppet.  The other Jedi we know and love gained some measure of wisdom with age.  Luke did not.  He was as bad as a whiny teenager, crying in his room.

5 - They wasted Yoda. 

Yoda needed to come a lot sooner, instead he comes in, and lacked the impact of old Yoda.

6 - Umm... Space doesn't work like that.

Two things - 1 - Leia would have exploded.  Her eyes would have burst, her ear drums popped, and a lot of other awful things, never mind frozen solid.

Second - "We need fuel to stay ahead out of range of bad guys."  On Earth - yes, in space - no.  There is no friction in space.  If ever keeps their rockets going, you keep gaining speed.  The physics of this plot point is mind numbing.

7 - Why did we need to have a video call with someone in a gun fight, who didn't need to be in the movie?

Enough said.

8 - Rey's parents were wasted.

This could have been huge.  Instead the mystery was tossed out like rotten food.

9 - You killed a legend with hardly a mention.

RIP Admiral Akbar.  You deserved better.

10 - Phasma - the new Darth Maul

For years after killing him off in the Episode 1, the powers to be regretted killing off Darth Maul.  I think (if she really is dead) we are going to miss Phasma.  We hardly knew her.

Now you might think I hated the entire movie.  I did not.  It had some awesome scenes.  You should see it for the following.  Most of these are  purposefully vague.

1 - BB8 kicks butt, kicks some more butt, and then blows away a whole bunch of Storm Troopers.

2 - Who needs to pick up a broom?  If you see it,  you'll know what I am talking about.

3 - Warp speed Mrs. lady with the purple hair.

4 - We don't know if it tasted like chicken.

Where Did the Covers Come From?

World Killer

I took that photo.  What you are seeing is a basic straight razor you can buy on Amazon, a typical latex glove, and black ink.  The ink didn’t cover like I wanted it too, but some heavy processing in Lightroom took care of that.

Around the World

This is one is a generic fingerprint illustration that I edited after the fact and added some more details.  I had a hard time thinking of something more fitting to represent this book.  The finger print played such a large role; I had to go with it.

Imagineered Death

This one is just fun.  What you are looking at is actual binary code.  It spells out a sentence.  You can google a binary to English translator and enter that code to learn what it says.  It is something that plays into the story.

Nemesis

I knew what I wanted for this cover, but it fell flat.  This cover does not do the story justice.  Anyone who’s read this book knows exactly what this is a picture of.

The Shoals

I took this photo during an evening cruise around the Isle of the Shoals.  This is a photo of White Island.  I toned mapped this photo from three base photos.

Sojourn

I took this photo in my back yard during a thunderstorm.  Very little editing went into this photo.  A fun fact here – this photo is actually upside down.

Titan One

This is a real photo from NASA that I edited.  This is Saturn with its moon Titan in the foreground.

The Harvesters

This is not a real photo.  It’s an artist’s rendering of a super nova.  If you’ve read the book you know what this is the cover.

Changeling

This is another artist’s rendering.  This is a DNA strand.  If you’ve read the book you know how important that turns out to be in this book.

CMDTA’s Pictoral Guide to Disney World

This is a photo I took in 2008 during the holiday season.  There is almost no editing here.  It’s really hard to edit a jpeg from a simple point and shoot camera.  If you try, a lot of noise will show up.

Misadventures in the White Mountains

I took this photo around the mid-2000s.  This is a photo of the upper section of the Boot Spur trail on Mt. Washington.

Jewel Paradise Cove - Concierge Room Review

First, here is the video review from YouTube.  After that. I'll give a quick pros and cons breakdown.

Pros:
It has some nice features like a walk in closet, jacuzzi tub, and vaulted ceilings.

It has a nice really nice view of the ocean.

You can raid the mini-bar all you want.

You have access to a concierge to book things for you.


Cons:
There is a lot of wasted space in this room.

This room is mostly uncomfortable.

This room is missing a any kind of work area.

It's not worth the extra money,

No access via elevator - stairs only.


Overall - if you want to stay at this resort, book a cheaper room.

Where Are the Books?

Fair Weather, Beast, and Camden Lock were announced over a year ago, so where are they?

Well, Fair Weather is about 30% done.  It's been 30% for almost a year.  Does that mean I've got a killer case of writers block?

It depends on how you define it.  Most of the time writers block means someone wants to write, but can't.  They are stuck and don't know how to go forward.  That's not the case with me.  I know what I'm going to write, I just don't care.

I wouldn't go as far as to say I've given up, but I have no desire or motivation to write.  Quite a few factors went into this.

After three years, I have been unable to find even an agent, never mind a publisher.  I have been able to find out fifty rejection letters.  Those are always fun.   On top of that, the editor I had, moved on.  Add that to no little to no positive feedback, and you lose motivation.

Again, this is not really writers block.  I have outlines for the following ready to go, if I ever get some motivation to do so.

Fair Weather - The Woman In White Book One - Featuring Fidel Hernandez and Tina Black.

Beast - The Woman In White Book Two - Featuring Justin Yensid and Hawk.

Camden Lock - The Woman In White Book Three - Featuring  the return of Eric and Jose.

The Depths - Featuring two characters first introduced in Fair Weather.

The Russian - An Agent 23 Novel

The West Wind Blows - A History of Survival in the White Mountains (Non-Fiction)  (writing started)

The Friend - A Novel (writing started)

So I've got outlines for seven more books.  Now all I need is motivation.

Free Book Today Only

Around The World is free today on Amazon. Only the eBook is free.  You can nab it here.

CLICK HERE

Disney Does It Again

It’s been a while since I did an old fashion Disney post.  Recent events have made it a prime time to do so. 

As you may have figured out, I’m not a Disney defender.  From 1985 till 2010, I was a HUGE Disney defender, but Disney managed to drive me away.

The biggest reason I turned my back on Disney wasn’t the cost, it was the value.  The value dropped off the face of the Earth, as Disney reduced the guest experience to a shell of its former self.  If my last trip in 2011 taught me anything, it was that Disney no longer cared about the guest experience.  They were solely focused on profits.

Two big stories popped up in the last week.  They go hand in hand with my biggest complaint about Disney World.  The two topics are the new pricing structure and elimination of a third of the Citizens of Hollywood.

Pricing

In a move that proved how little Disney cares for (non-affluent) families, Disney introduced a new tiered pricing structure.  Now you will pay more for busier days.  Let’s read between the lines here.  If you are locked into certain periods of time off (teachers), you are now being punished.  If you can’t pull your kids out of school (most families) you can now pay through the nose. 

Are you getting anything in return for these massive price hikes?  No.  You are actually getting less.  First, this is a MASSIVE price hike.  It’s the biggest of all time.  Disney would argue that with some political mumbo jumbo, but the fact is, this change will result in average price paid jumping to an unprecedented level.

Now, how are you getting less?

The trend of butchering the guest experience continues.   Disney has consistently reduced the value of your ticket by eliminating entertainment.  The most recent example is the elimination of a third of the Citizens of Hollywood.  In translation – one third of the best part of Disney Studios has been flushed down the toilet.  That cut seriously reduces the value of visiting Disney Studios.  If you go back over the last six years, you’ll find similar cuts all around Disney World.  The guest experience is a shadow of what it once was.

I know I walked away.  For a long time I thought I was the only one.  Recently my mother walked away.  I was stunned by that.  My mother has been a huge Disney fan since her first trip to Disney Land as a child.  We are talking about someone who has been a fan for more than five decades.  She said she’s not going back.  It’s not worth it anymore.

Before you point at me and say I influenced her, let me say this.  My mother has no idea that I write this blog.  She has no idea who A. Antonio or CMDTA is, nor has she ever even mentioned it.  We haven’t talked about Disney in years. 

My family is not the only one.  For the first time we are seeing longtime fans walking away.  Now is the time to fix the problem.  If Disney waits until it impacts the bottom-line it will be far too late.  They will find themselves crippled for years while Universal wipes the floor with them.

An Open Letter to AMResorts

Five days ago, while still on vacation, I took the time to email AMResorts.  They are the parent company of Secrets.  I wasn't expecting anything to come from it, but I should have at least gotten a token response.  

It's been five days and I've have not received a response,

The following email was sent to info@amresorts.com :

Why do I get the feeling that as soon as you saw the subject line to this email, you shuddered a little? :)

I don't have to tell you what it's like down here.  No doubt you've been monitoring most of the travel sites and cringing at the reviews.

I haven't seen a review yet that honestly detailed what it's like to vacation here.  My wife and I are half way through our "unlimited luxury".  The experience has been bad enough to forever sour our opinion of Secrets.  I didn't think that was possible before coming here.  I even saw the reviews and thought I was prepared.  It's hard to express how disappointed we are.

I won't go into a lot of details.  I already cataloged them on my travel blog.  There are a few that I have to point out, because I feel they are shockingly bad.

Check in was the worst travel experience of my adult life.  The only travel experience that was worse was when I was a kid and was involved in an accident while on vacation.  All my front teeth were knocked out back then.   This experience comes right behind that.  At least back then someone cared about what happened.

A month or so ago, my credit card was compromised and automatically blocked and reissued.  I thought nothing of it.  It's not the first time I've been through that.  It's never been an issue before.  Can you guess what happened when I went to check in?  I don't feel like writing it again, so here is an excerpt from by blog:

Everything goes well until they ask to see the credit card I booked the room with.  I pull out the card that is tied into that account.  Not good enough.  They need to see the ACTUAL card.  That poses a problem.  That ACTUAL card was compromised and automatically blocked by the bank to prevent fraud.  I explain that.  They don't care.

I try to get pull up my statement on my phone.  Too bad!  I had never accessed my account on that phone.  Even with Wifi, I can't get in.  Being in a foreign country, I can't text the security code back without inuring an expense.  They don't care.

I ask if they can call the bank.  They do.  It takes the lady a while but she manages to connect to my bank.  They tell her that it's the same card and that they see the charge on the account.  Guess what...they don't care.  They want to see something physical.

At this point my wife asks if there is anything that can be done,  The lady shrugs.  What kind of a reply is that?  Guess what my wife did?  She went into dragon mode and demanded to speak to someone else.

I pull up my Tripit Confirmation!  That would work right?   Nope.  Not good enough!

Before I go further, let me outline what Secrets has in their hand:

1. Both our Passports.

2. A rep from the bank saying that it's the same account and that they see the charge paid.

3. The confirmation email that shows the total amount paid.

4.  The credit card assigned to that account.

Two different supervisors come over and hem and haw over it.  Their offer is to put a hold on our card for the full amount of the room (not the deal amount we paid for it) and then see if the booking office can do anything in a couple days when they are open again.  That would involve us putting our vacation on hold when Monday hit.

Thankfully, the girl at the bank broke the rules for us and emailed us the credit card statement that showed the transaction.

Check in time - 1hr.  Annoyance level - considering writing off Secrets for life.  At the very least we totally wrote off going to the spa or the private dinner.  We were not spending a single extra dollar after putting us through that nonsense.

So we get to the room.  I think it's easier to say what's working than whats broken.  It really looks like our room was in the process of getting renovated when someone stopped, cleaned up, and checked us in.

Our phone is the biggest issue.  It's broken.  We've reported it three times and not a single person has come to look at it.  Every time we want to order room service, we have to go to the front desk.  For breakfast, we have to ask for a card at the front desk.  That's worked two out of three times.

I'm not going to go into the service.  It's not possible that you do not know how bad it is.  People are complaining about it everywhere.  I'd rather take the time to single out two employees.  In five days, I've found only two employees who are Secrets level employees.  Balbino is a server who works in the Market Cafe and often in a supportive role at the other restaurants.  Anjimara is a waitress we've run into at Bordeaux.  Those are the only two who have been good.

The front desk, so far, hast been the worst of the batch.  They never smile and when I have to approach them, I feel like an inmate asking for an exemption.

You know an experience is bad when someone stops in the middle of their vacation to write a letter like this.

I fully expect that you will send a token response before filing this away.  If I email you, maybe a couple of people find out.   To date, my review of Secrets St. James has over 23,000 views.  On average it grows by six hundred per month.  My room and resort review of Playa Bonita is going up right next to it.

I know in the grand scope that 23,000 isn't a whole lot, but it makes me feel better knowing that I can warn so many people about this place.

To be honest, after my experience here, I can't imagine traveling to another Secrets.  It's too risky.  This place has devalued the Secrets name to such a degree that it's become almost meaningless.  I can't justify picking Secrets over Sandals, Club Med, or another chain.

Five days is more than enough to get a response back.

If I ever hear anything back, I'll let everyone know.

Room Overview - Logan Airport Hilton

This is a review for a very nice hotel that can really come in handy if you are traveling.  It's ideally located at Logan International Airport.

Secrets Playa Bonita - Standard Room Review

First watch the video, and then I'll fill in some blanks.

So what else is there?  In the bathroom, I mention the gaps where mold can grow.  One of these is caused by the wall moving.  I'm serious.  If you push on the wall, it moves.  It's as if it is floating and not bolted to anything.

You'll notice that the sheets are messy in this video.  That's because the maid service was spotty.  Multiple times during our trip we did not get maid service or a turn down, despite spending at least eight hours a day outside of our room.

You might notice that the door to the room looks wooden.  It is and it's not even slightly insulated.  This means you will hear anything going on outside.  Despite this fact, the AC keeps the room nice and cool.  I can't imagine the amount of energy they burn through maintaining this.

Secrets Playa Bonita: Final Comments

Playa Bonita was, in a word, disappointing.  It did not live up to the Secrets name.  In fact, it dragged the Secrets name into the mud.  At this point, I cannot imagine I will ever return to a Secrets resort.

The food service dramatically improved after they fired the food and beverage manager and replaced him with an actual Secrets employee.   There were still some glaring issues, but the improvement was remarkable

In some ways it seemed like Panama wanted to get rid of us.  The checkout process was far better than checking, but I think that goes without saying.  Checking in was a nightmare.  The transfer to the airport was dramatically better too.  They sent a car and we were there in about a forty minutes.

I think all of the speaks to the biggest issue at Playa Bonita - consistency.  There are some rare times when you get an employee who seems to care and then there is the 90% when things are not so good and you are lucky to get water.

On a side note, I did discover the working arrangements (at least for the front desk).  The employees work six days a week for seven hours.  They get one day off that is determined by their managers.  I hope they get paid well, since that kind of schedule seems like it would lead to burnout.

Overall, don't go to Play Bonita.  Maybe in a few years it might be okay, but right now it's not good.  Maybe if you can get a deal for $99 per person per day, it might be a value.  Just lower your expectations and don't expect it to be a Secrets.

Secrets Playa Bonita Panama: Day Eight - You Might Die.

Last night we hit the Caribbean Night.  It was almost the same as Panama Night, but with different food.  If you want to eat outside, this is the way to go.  Usually at night the temp drops to around 80 with a nice breeze.  This makes it very comfortable.

This is our last day.  I think in some ways that we were forgotten.  Many people received a coupon package when they checked in.  We did not.  Most people had some useful information left in their room about the resort and tours you could take.  We did not get get that.  Some people got snacks in their room.  We never got that.  Some people got nips of alcohol.  We didn't get that either.

We were stunned last night to arrive back at our room to find the minibar guy restocking the fridge.  He was slow as molasses, but that slowness allowed me to look at his cart.  There was a number of things other people got in their mini-fridge that we did not.

I guess the drawback of getting your mini-bar refilled is that we didn't get a turn down.  When you get your turn down, you get your agenda for the next day.  If we want to know what's open tonight, we'll have to take a trip to the front desk.  Happy days!

I have to provide a very serious warning to anyone reading this.  If you have food allergies, your life could be in danger by coming here.  I wish I was kidding.  Time and again, the menu does not match what is delivered to you.  Often nuts are added to items or they are in items without being put on the description.  Shellfish can also pop up without notice.  If you get an extremely competent waiter, you might be able to ask them whats in the food.  Most of the time, that won't help, unless you speak Spanish.

Let me give an example of a disconnect between the menu and what is delivered.  The cheese plate on the menu says "Served with assorted breads, homemade pickles, and marmalade."  Look for yourself...

Possibly Lethal Descriptions

Someone with a gluten allergy would never order that.  That's too bad.  What was delivery was gluten free.  However, it came with nuts, no bread, no homemade pickles, and no marmalade.

You will often see items on the menu listed as gluten free or vegetarian.  I would not trust that.  You would be taking a serious chance if you trust any of the descriptions on these menus.  Time and again they have been far from accurate.

Our vacation is almost over.  I can't remember the last time I really looked forward to going home.  I'm trying to keep things in perspective, but I have to say, after this experience I would not return to a Secrets.  ANY Secrets.   It's too risky.  It would be a complete gamble.   I'd rather put my money in a trusted, reliable brand.  If a Grand Suite on Royal Caribbean costs about the same as a Secrets vacation, there is zero reason to pick Secrets.  Royal Caribbean provides a reliable product. You know what you are going to get.

Secrets Playa Bonita Panama: Day Seven - Hmmmmm.....

Things on the service side have continued to improve.  It's amazing the impact a good old firing can have.  There are still some glaring issues.  The Seaside Grill is much improved but remains the weak link in the bunch.

The other services issues remain.  For example, I've been to the front desk five times.  four of those were negative experiences.  The only time it was decent was when an employee named "Maria" waited on me.  She actually smiled and was helpful!

There is another thing that really concerns me and could be a factor behind the poor service.  Many of the employees have been working six to seven straight days.  That would be bad enough but it appears that some of them work over 12hrs a day.  It's no wonder they act like they don't care.  The only way someone can work like that, is when they contract like a cruise ship.  It's not easy, but the prospect of having three months of paid time off can be very motivating.   It's possible that the employees here have a six months on, three months off kind of deal, but that seems really unlikely.

It's also possible that they are working the grueling hours to get the resort off the ground.  Many of the staff have name tags that say "Training" on them.  I don't doubt that Secrets had to do a big purge and a big hiring.  That's what's happens when you take over a failed resort.

The one stand out thing that I will give this resort is are the grounds.  They are very nice.  They've done a great job keeping them up and you can see the workers all over the place.

If nothing else you can hide under an umbrella and enjoy the view.  On the downside, there are few available and they fill up fast.  If you want any kind of decent shade for the day, you'll need to get out there before eight in the morning.  That's a tall order for most people on vacation.

The weather has been great.

If you feel like walking, you can walk all the way down the beach in both directions.  Down the far side, near the other resort, you will find some mangroves that you can walk through.  I know they are not true mangroves, but who'd want to walk through them?

It's a neat area to check out.

As a side note, for anyone who is from a culture where going topless is common, if you want to, you can sunbathe topless.  They will not stop you.  There is a French lady that has been out sunbathing every day....No....I am not going to take photos!  Don't even ask!  There are no boobies on this blog!

Well...okay.  If you really want to see some boobies....

A lovely pair of boobies.

Come to think of it....the bar service guy seems to be over there a lot.  She never has a hard time getting a drink.  Hmmmmm....

Secrets Play Bonita Panama: Day Six - The Man In the Green Shirt

He's a tall Mexican man with an athletic build.  He carries himself with an air of confidence and people react to his presence.  He's a man on a mission.

I have yet to speak with this man, but I know why he's here.  I've heard from other guests about him.  Secrets shifted gears, terminated the food and beverage manager, and sent in one of their own from Mexico.

I've never seen one person have such a sudden impact.  Look at my review of lunch from yesterday.  I was a joke.  It was hard to find anything good about it.  Six hours later we ate dinner at Portifnio.  It was like visiting an entirely new restaurant.  We ate here on day one.   We cannot compare the experience we had on day one with this one.  The change was too dramatic.

The service was what you'd expect from a Secrets.  The wait staff was attentive and did a good job.  They still don't always respond when you thank them, but some of them did.  The food is now the low point.  Not that the food is bad, but the new food and beverage manager will need to address it.

What is the problem with the food?

It's not always consistent and the descriptions on the menu do not match what is delivered to you.

For instance, guess what this is:

Looks like a chocolate covered cake, right?

According to the menu, this is a Sambuca fruit salad.  What this really is, is a kind of mint custard covered in chocolate.

That's not the only example of getting food that isn't even close to the description on the menu.  When you order here, the food isn't going to be terrible, but it's not going to be what you ordered in most cases.   You'll need to do some trial and error to find out what means what.

It'll be interesting to see if the man in the green shirt has an impact on the Seaside Grill.  So far that's been ground zero for spotty service.

Considering the impact one man has had, Secrets needs to send in a general manager.  The problems here go far beyond the food and beverage service.

On a somewhat positive note, the phone is finally fixed.  It took three days and three complaints, but it's fixed.  The IT guy came up and worked on it for over an hour.  In the end he had to move it to a new jack and reconfigure it.  At least it's working now.

While he was working I noticed something really annoying.  Someone before the IT guy, knew the phone was busted.  It had been intentionally unplugged and left where it was.  Super fun time!

Secrets Playa Bonita Panama: Day Five - Lowered Expectations

Things continue to be laughably bad at times.  The low point for today was trying to get a room service order card for breakfast.  We hit the front desk, asked for one, and were told it would be delivered to our room.  Two hours later we gave up and went to bed.  This was also the second time we complained about our phone not working.

Indeed

For dinner we went back to Bordeaux.  Part of me wanted to see if the diarrhea on a plate was a one time occurrence.  This time when we sat down, there was no American rock playing.  Instead we got to enjoy some lovely house techno, because nothing says French cuisine like techno.

To our amazement, our waitress, Anjimara, was a Secrets caliber employee.  She was friendly and professional.  She apologized for taking a long time to come to our table initially, and was attentive after that. We even had our wine glasses refilled, Wow!  It took five days to find two Secrets caliber employees.

More about service later.  Now onto the food.

About half of the things that are placed in front of you look appealing.  You already saw the Baby Barf and Bacon soup.  That represents the other half.

This is an example of the good half.  It doesn't mean it tastes good.  That's another matter.  At least it looks like someone cared.  This is the endive salad, it's a little bland but not bad.

Another thing that surprised me this night was the Coq Au Vin.  I had low expectations when ordering it. When it came, I still had low expectations.  It did not look appealing.

I don't want to say what it looks like.

This turned out to be the best thing I've ordered so far.  The meat fell off the bone.  Too bad everything couldn't be this good.

To finish off, I had to do it.  I had to order the poo on a plate.  What I got wasn't quite as bad as when my wife ordered it, but it was still unappealing. 

Mmmmm....poo on a plate...

So what is that?  On the menu, it says it's molten cake (with a peanut butter filling) and raspberry ice cream.  Sure...seems legit!

One - there is no peanut butter on this plate, just a ball of something somewhere between a mildly chocolate cake and cookie.  Two - that's chocolate ice cream.  Three - that's a smear of raspberry sauce.  

Breakfast the next day was surprisingly good.  Why?  Balbino was our waiter!  We got coffee and juice!  He even checked in with us!  Holy testicle Tuesday Batman!  Someone, call the five o'clock news!  We got service at breakfast!

Well, lunch made up for that.  Our waiter was friendly but didn't have a clue as to what he was doing.  I mean he seriously served like someone pulled him off the street and told him to wait tables.  We got water - once.  One drink order and that was it.  I gave up, walked out of the restaurant, and up to the bar to get a drink.

Another couple we've run into a couple of times ended up talking to one of the managers that Secrets imported.  Apparently, this place shut down for a month to train the staff.  The manager then threw the people of Panama under the bus and blamed them for having poor service skills.  

Jokes on you.  I was the trainer. 

I did some research and found what I feel is one of the main causes for the staffs' awful skills.  Panama has an unemployment rate of 2.5%.  In other words.  No one here gives a crap.  They have job security.  If they get fired, they will easily find another job.

In a case like that, the employer has to be willing to lower the profit margin.  Higher pay only does so much.  You need to instill a recognition program.  If a guest mentions you on any kind of positive feedback, you get a small bonus.   It doesn't have have to be monetary.  It can be as simple as a paid day off or other free stuff.  The bottom line is simple.  You have to find a way to make the employees care about their jobs.  Right now they mostly seem to hate being here.