No fluff this time. Just a the rankings. If you want to see why The Last Jedi falls where it does, check out my overview of it.
1 - The Empire Strikes Back
2 - A New Hope
3 - Rogue One
4 - The Force Awakens
5 - Revenge of the Sith
6 - Return of the Jedi
7 - The Last Jedi
8 - Attack of the Clones
9 - The Phantom Menace
Showing posts with label star wars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label star wars. Show all posts
Saturday, December 16, 2017
Why I Didn't Like The Last Jedi
I know a lot of people loved The Last Jedi. I am not one of them. Let me explain why before you rip me apart.
WARNING - SPOILERS!!!!
1 - The Fin story is hot garbage.
Fin is a great character. Rose is a great character. Put together they are even better. So what should you do with two great characters? Send them off on a stupid plot point, so you can harvest some stuff off if later.
I sat there watching this and wondered - Wait...you can get Finn and company off of the ship, unnoticed, but you couldn't have them save a few people in process? Also, sending them off to find some code breaker, is just dumb. A much better idea, would have been to have Rose accomplish the same thing with her engineer skills. If this was Star Trek - Scotty, Jordi, or another team of engineering would have found a way.
2 - Leia needed to die.
Instead of having an epic send off for a beloved character, you killed the newbie. Why? Why even introduce Laura Dern's character? Killing her off makes the whole comma thing seems like a total waste.
3 - Why kill Snoke?
This made no sense to me. He wasn't in the two movies for a more than a combined ten minutes. What a complete waste of a character. He was a mystery until he showed up in this one. He showed up just in time to kill him off.
4 - People tend to get wiser with age - Unless you are Luke Skywalker.
Luke is now in his sixties and he's beyond dumb. I know some people love how he showed weakness. You can do that without being a total Muppet. The other Jedi we know and love gained some measure of wisdom with age. Luke did not. He was as bad as a whiny teenager, crying in his room.
5 - They wasted Yoda.
Yoda needed to come a lot sooner, instead he comes in, and lacked the impact of old Yoda.
6 - Umm... Space doesn't work like that.
Two things - 1 - Leia would have exploded. Her eyes would have burst, her ear drums popped, and a lot of other awful things, never mind frozen solid.
Second - "We need fuel to stay ahead out of range of bad guys." On Earth - yes, in space - no. There is no friction in space. If ever keeps their rockets going, you keep gaining speed. The physics of this plot point is mind numbing.
7 - Why did we need to have a video call with someone in a gun fight, who didn't need to be in the movie?
Enough said.
8 - Rey's parents were wasted.
This could have been huge. Instead the mystery was tossed out like rotten food.
9 - You killed a legend with hardly a mention.
RIP Admiral Akbar. You deserved better.
10 - Phasma - the new Darth Maul
For years after killing him off in the Episode 1, the powers to be regretted killing off Darth Maul. I think (if she really is dead) we are going to miss Phasma. We hardly knew her.
Now you might think I hated the entire movie. I did not. It had some awesome scenes. You should see it for the following. Most of these are purposefully vague.
1 - BB8 kicks butt, kicks some more butt, and then blows away a whole bunch of Storm Troopers.
2 - Who needs to pick up a broom? If you see it, you'll know what I am talking about.
3 - Warp speed Mrs. lady with the purple hair.
4 - We don't know if it tasted like chicken.
WARNING - SPOILERS!!!!
1 - The Fin story is hot garbage.
Fin is a great character. Rose is a great character. Put together they are even better. So what should you do with two great characters? Send them off on a stupid plot point, so you can harvest some stuff off if later.
I sat there watching this and wondered - Wait...you can get Finn and company off of the ship, unnoticed, but you couldn't have them save a few people in process? Also, sending them off to find some code breaker, is just dumb. A much better idea, would have been to have Rose accomplish the same thing with her engineer skills. If this was Star Trek - Scotty, Jordi, or another team of engineering would have found a way.
2 - Leia needed to die.
Instead of having an epic send off for a beloved character, you killed the newbie. Why? Why even introduce Laura Dern's character? Killing her off makes the whole comma thing seems like a total waste.
3 - Why kill Snoke?
This made no sense to me. He wasn't in the two movies for a more than a combined ten minutes. What a complete waste of a character. He was a mystery until he showed up in this one. He showed up just in time to kill him off.
4 - People tend to get wiser with age - Unless you are Luke Skywalker.
Luke is now in his sixties and he's beyond dumb. I know some people love how he showed weakness. You can do that without being a total Muppet. The other Jedi we know and love gained some measure of wisdom with age. Luke did not. He was as bad as a whiny teenager, crying in his room.
5 - They wasted Yoda.
Yoda needed to come a lot sooner, instead he comes in, and lacked the impact of old Yoda.
6 - Umm... Space doesn't work like that.
Two things - 1 - Leia would have exploded. Her eyes would have burst, her ear drums popped, and a lot of other awful things, never mind frozen solid.
Second - "We need fuel to stay ahead out of range of bad guys." On Earth - yes, in space - no. There is no friction in space. If ever keeps their rockets going, you keep gaining speed. The physics of this plot point is mind numbing.
7 - Why did we need to have a video call with someone in a gun fight, who didn't need to be in the movie?
Enough said.
8 - Rey's parents were wasted.
This could have been huge. Instead the mystery was tossed out like rotten food.
9 - You killed a legend with hardly a mention.
RIP Admiral Akbar. You deserved better.
10 - Phasma - the new Darth Maul
For years after killing him off in the Episode 1, the powers to be regretted killing off Darth Maul. I think (if she really is dead) we are going to miss Phasma. We hardly knew her.
Now you might think I hated the entire movie. I did not. It had some awesome scenes. You should see it for the following. Most of these are purposefully vague.
1 - BB8 kicks butt, kicks some more butt, and then blows away a whole bunch of Storm Troopers.
2 - Who needs to pick up a broom? If you see it, you'll know what I am talking about.
3 - Warp speed Mrs. lady with the purple hair.
4 - We don't know if it tasted like chicken.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Star Tours Part II
When I first heard about a new version of Star Tours I was excited. I thought it was a great idea. I stayed excited until I saw the short clip that was released. The clip had pod racing in it. Out of all of the things in the Star Wars universe someone had to pick pod racing.
I understand that it’s just one scene and that the rest of the film will be other stuff. That doesn’t really help. Episode one was such a mess of a movie it almost killed Star Wars. Episode two is the fifth best move coming in only slightly better than the episode one. Episode three was decent but after the first two it was hard to enjoy. Now we are going to do a whole ride based on the first two movies. That’s not easy. You’ll have to replace / overhaul the ride vehicle. Why? Don’t forget the original Star Tours takes place about 20 to 40 years after the proposed replacement. Are you going to tell me that the ship in Star Tours was at least twenty years old?
Now you see the big problem with doing a prequel when it comes to a ride. You want it to be big and flashy but you can’t make it more impressive than the first one without blowing the story line. That means no windows. Why would windows have been removed over time? You’ll also need to look out and not use any other impressive technology or you face the problem of blowing the story.
There is one way out. Make the ship time travel. They you can have all of the fancy stuff you want without blowing the story. The problem with time travel is it’s already been done. How many time traveling rides do you want? Dinosaur is still running and the Time Keeper didn’t disappear all that long ago.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
New Addition to Star Wars Weekends
A new attraction is coming to Star Wars Weekends at Disney Hollywood Studios this year. A replica of the pit monster – Sarlac thingy from Return of the Jedi will be opened to the public.
In Return of the Jedi, Luke, Chewy, and Han were to be executed by being thrown into a pit with a big mouth at the bottom. C3PO is kind enough to explain that anyone thrown into the pit will be slowly digested. After that a battle breaks out, all the good guys escape, the bad guys die, and a lot of people fall into the pit.
Now Star Wars fans will be able to experience what it’s like to be tossed into the pit. Complete with sandy slopes and tentacles, the new attraction is a site to behold.
“To make the experience as real as possible we’ve added a vat of concentrated acid that people will plunge into. As long as we get them out in less than a minute it shouldn’t kill them. It’ll just help them to understand what it’s like to be digested,” a Disney spokesman stated.
“We have a spring board above the pit, just like in the movie. We’re going to tie the guests up and then hit them in the spine with a big stick just like they did in “Jedi.” We think that will really add to the realism. We have also developed a method of multiple photo ops. Cameras are synced up. The first takes your picture when you’re hit in the spine. The stick has a trigger at the end of it. The second camera is high speed motion sensitive camera that will take a picture as the guest falls towards the pit. The third picture is also motion sensitive and is triggers as the guest hits the vat of acid. The fourth camera is pressure sensitive and triggers when the person crawls out of the vat and steps or falls onto the floor. We are going to offer all four pictures for the price of one and frame them to make a special package,” the spokesman continued.
The attraction should be ready by opening day. Arrive early, as long lines are expected throughout the weekend.
In Return of the Jedi, Luke, Chewy, and Han were to be executed by being thrown into a pit with a big mouth at the bottom. C3PO is kind enough to explain that anyone thrown into the pit will be slowly digested. After that a battle breaks out, all the good guys escape, the bad guys die, and a lot of people fall into the pit.
Now Star Wars fans will be able to experience what it’s like to be tossed into the pit. Complete with sandy slopes and tentacles, the new attraction is a site to behold.
“To make the experience as real as possible we’ve added a vat of concentrated acid that people will plunge into. As long as we get them out in less than a minute it shouldn’t kill them. It’ll just help them to understand what it’s like to be digested,” a Disney spokesman stated.
“We have a spring board above the pit, just like in the movie. We’re going to tie the guests up and then hit them in the spine with a big stick just like they did in “Jedi.” We think that will really add to the realism. We have also developed a method of multiple photo ops. Cameras are synced up. The first takes your picture when you’re hit in the spine. The stick has a trigger at the end of it. The second camera is high speed motion sensitive camera that will take a picture as the guest falls towards the pit. The third picture is also motion sensitive and is triggers as the guest hits the vat of acid. The fourth camera is pressure sensitive and triggers when the person crawls out of the vat and steps or falls onto the floor. We are going to offer all four pictures for the price of one and frame them to make a special package,” the spokesman continued.
The attraction should be ready by opening day. Arrive early, as long lines are expected throughout the weekend.
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