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Tuesday, May 5, 2009

We Can Do Better Than Water Boarding

I think people over look what punishment is. People claim that water boarding is not torture and it should be used. I think water boarding is sick and far too intrusive. When did we become so bland? Did everyone forget how to use their imaginations?

Here are some better, more humane, ways to crack people:

1 – Force them to ride “It’s a Small World” for 12 straight hours. I think the cast members who work this ride deserve hazardous duty pay. I walk by this attraction and I get the song stuck in my head. 12 hours should be enough to break anyone.

2 – Make them ride “Star Tours” over and over but delay the tape by one second so nothing lines up. Anyone who knows the history of these rides knows that they can cause motion sickness. That motion sickness increases exponentially if the movie and the ride are not in perfect sync.

3 – Make them ride “Journey into Imagination” or what ever it’s called now. The originally was a classic. The new one is abysmal. After a few hours the offender will be begging for mercy.

4 – Make listen to the burp from “Stich’s Great Escape” and then make them smell the chili dog over and over. You could even mix this up and give the burps other smells.

5 – Make him be a character but don’t give him a cup. After a few good crotch shots they’ll be ready to talk.

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