Epic Mickey the Mickey Mouse Video Game

Forget what you know about Mickey Mouse video games. Mickey Mouse running around doing fun things with furry critters is a thing of the past. Junction Point Studios is developing a game for the Nintendo Wii called “Epic Mickey.”

I owned a Wii once. I sold it because I never played it. Maybe if Epic Mickey was out back then I’d still have it. It sounds good but it could alienate a lot of Mickey Mouse fans.

Basically the game takes place in a post apocalypse Disney World. There are messed up versions of Cinderella’s Castle and Spaceship Earth. Everything is going to have a steampunk theme to it including overhauls of Goofy, Mickey and other classic characters.

I know they say that life can imitate art or I guess art can imitate art. As some of you know I’ve often put Oswald the Lucky Rabbits in my blog as an evil, vengeful, criminal mastermind. I am not kidding when I say that Oswald the Lucky Rabbit is the bad guy in the new game. Some of you may also remember a post I did that involved a bunch of forgotten characters who teamed up and formed a gang. The irony is the premise of the game involves a bunch of lesser known characters trying to overthrow Mickey.

To prove I’m not kidding here is a direct quote from eurogamer:

“The antagonists of Epic Mickey are the largely old and obscure Disney elements, including theme park rides and older cartoons. Having been forgotten, they are now trapped in a "forgotten world of broken machines and bitter personalities." Running this world is Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, one of Walt Disney's first creations, who has become jealous of Mickey Mouse and is seeking revenge. Oswald sends the Phantom Blot to the Disney universe, and it soon covers the world with black ink, causing the colors to run. Using a variety of artist tools, Mickey must return the Disney world to its former glory.”

I really hope this comes out for the PS3 too. This game sounds whacked enough to be either really good or utterly awful. I’d also like to say, if someone from Disney is reading this do you think you could do some of my legitimate ideas instead of taking my ridiculous posts and turning them into video games?

No Godfather Lives Forever

As many of you know Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, Godfather of the WDW Mafia (see The DIS – the WDW Mafia’s Legal Front), is getting old. You have to remember he is older than Mickey Mouse. Every god father has to turn the over the power or groom someone to replace him when he’s gone. Oswald did that. Knowing that any mafia needs a good defense, Oswald chose wisely.

Who would know enough about legal matters, Disney, and what it takes to get the job done?

For a long time I didn’t know. Whoever it was kept their identity hidden but like all Disney mysteries, I looked into it (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

Quite a while ago Samantha Brown was on the WDW Radio show. That surprised me, but I thought Lou got lucky and maybe Samantha was doing Disney stuff at the time so it worked out.

My jaw dropped when Julie Andrews was on the WDW Radio show. That really aroused my suspicion. Why would Julie Andrews do the WDW Radio show? No offense to Samantha but Julie Andrews is a thousand times bigger. I thought about it and figured people win the lottery and get hit by lightening so maybe Lou was just in the right place at the right time.

It became evident that Lou was hiding something when Iron Chef Cat Cora was on the WDW Radio show. The only kind of person who is not a celebrity (sorry Lou) with connections like that is a mobster. Most senators don’t have connections like that.

There is not doubt that Mr. Hard Drive in the Head (see What About Lou), Louis Mongello, is the successor to Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.

My advice, stay on Lou’s good side. Even more so if you own a horse.

The DIS – WDW Mafia’s Legal Front

Every day that passes more and more people sign up on the DIS Boards, the DIS Unplugged, or sign up for a podcast cruise. Most people overlook the fact that most of what the DIS does is done at no cost. How could the DIS possibly afford to maintain everything they do?

I looked into it.

I thought that maybe Dreams Unlimited was the source of the funding and they were just very generous. I was wrong. Dreams Unlimited was not capable of carrying that kind of load. I kept looking and found out something odd. Most of the names of the people from the DIS Unplugged were changed within the last 10 to 20 years. All of them use to have Italian names like Gotti and Corleone.

When I followed their real names back I found out that they all had connections to organized crime and that’s when it hit me. The DIS is a front for the infamous WDW Mafia which, as everyone knows, was started by Oswald the Bunny.

Oswald the Bunny was upset about being left behind by Walt when he branched out on his own. To retaliate he started a gang which escalated into a full scaled crime syndicate.

Over the years you can see the evidence of the Mafia’s influence. For example – the birds in the Tiki Room refused to pay their protection fees so two of the low level members of the crime family were installed as “managers.” Another example – Stich, a prominent member of the mafia, wanted his own attraction. Under threat of “action” Disney closed down Alien Encounter and opened Stich’s Great Escape.

The DIS isn’t just a legal front. They also work the system. If a restaurant doesn’t pay their security fees on time guess what happens? John shows up and has a meal. Half of the time this works and the restaurant pays up. If they don’t there will be a nasty review on the DIS Unplugged within a couple of weeks. This has been a very effective tool to date.

When a hotel refuses to pay the Mafia sends Pete out. 90% of the time the hotel manager sees Pete get out of the car and they pay up. If they don’t a world famous rant is just a podcast away.

In the rare case where the negative publicity doesn’t work, the Mafia sends in their enforcer, the DIS’s own Julie Martin. You don’t mess with Julie. Most people say that they have never heard a bad thing about Julie. That’s because no ever survives to complain.