Epcot Runs Out of Nachos

Disney cast members are trying to figure out what has caused the sudden surge in nacho orders at the quick service location in the Mexico Pavilion. Orders have more then tripled in two weeks causing the location to run out of nachos, infuriating patrons.

“It’s really odd. People have been inconsolable when they find out we’re out of nachos. It’s like someone brain washed them into thinking they can’t live without them,” stated a cast member who works at the pavilion.

We’ve had few cases of people trying to drown themselves in the lagoon when we inform them we’re out of nachos. One guy even tied himself to the Illuminations barge,” stated another cast member.

Experts have been offering theories on what is causing this odd behavior. The most popular theories are:

The nachos are laced with an addictive drug.

Mike Newell brain washed all Mouse World Radio listeners with his mind control software into thinking they need nachos.

There is a new flu that makes people want nachos really bad.

Compounding the problem is the fact that the WDW Today podcast has labeled the nachos as one of the best quick service meals available despite the fact that Mike Newell nearly died after eating them (the 20 pounds of food he ate after the nachos had nothing to do with it).

Due to the nacho shortage a nacho black market has sprung up. Members of the WDW Mafia have been reportedly selling nachos for upwards of $50 a pound. Further proof of their involvement was provided when Buzz Lightyear and his friend Woody ended up in the hospital after a nacho deal gone bad.

Regardless of the cause, Disney has increased their supply orders and hope to catch up to demand within a few weeks.

The DIS – WDW Mafia’s Legal Front

Every day that passes more and more people sign up on the DIS Boards, the DIS Unplugged, or sign up for a podcast cruise. Most people overlook the fact that most of what the DIS does is done at no cost. How could the DIS possibly afford to maintain everything they do?

I looked into it.

I thought that maybe Dreams Unlimited was the source of the funding and they were just very generous. I was wrong. Dreams Unlimited was not capable of carrying that kind of load. I kept looking and found out something odd. Most of the names of the people from the DIS Unplugged were changed within the last 10 to 20 years. All of them use to have Italian names like Gotti and Corleone.

When I followed their real names back I found out that they all had connections to organized crime and that’s when it hit me. The DIS is a front for the infamous WDW Mafia which, as everyone knows, was started by Oswald the Bunny.

Oswald the Bunny was upset about being left behind by Walt when he branched out on his own. To retaliate he started a gang which escalated into a full scaled crime syndicate.

Over the years you can see the evidence of the Mafia’s influence. For example – the birds in the Tiki Room refused to pay their protection fees so two of the low level members of the crime family were installed as “managers.” Another example – Stich, a prominent member of the mafia, wanted his own attraction. Under threat of “action” Disney closed down Alien Encounter and opened Stich’s Great Escape.

The DIS isn’t just a legal front. They also work the system. If a restaurant doesn’t pay their security fees on time guess what happens? John shows up and has a meal. Half of the time this works and the restaurant pays up. If they don’t there will be a nasty review on the DIS Unplugged within a couple of weeks. This has been a very effective tool to date.

When a hotel refuses to pay the Mafia sends Pete out. 90% of the time the hotel manager sees Pete get out of the car and they pay up. If they don’t a world famous rant is just a podcast away.

In the rare case where the negative publicity doesn’t work, the Mafia sends in their enforcer, the DIS’s own Julie Martin. You don’t mess with Julie. Most people say that they have never heard a bad thing about Julie. That’s because no ever survives to complain.