Secrets Playa Bonita: Day Three - Grump Cat's Delight

The third day has to be better, right?  Any place that calls itself "Secrets" can't maintain a level of service that low....or maybe they can.

The resort looks amazing.  Just check out these photos.


Looks can be deceiving.  The phone in our room, busted.  One of our electrical outlets, busted.  The minibar - doesn't close properly.  On top of that, many small things are missing.  For instance, our room did not have a guest directory, a do not disturb placard, never had the room service placard replaced, never had the mini-bar refilled, is missing some light fixture coverings, the door to the room isn't a uniform fit, the caulking in the bathroom looks like a drunk monkey did it, and the door to the shower doesn't stay closed, so water gets all over the place.  Also, pray that there is no fire, because all the emergency signage is gone.  It looks like it was ripped off the door.

Now for another missing thing.  There is no tissues.  I know I can blow my nose on toilet paper, but this is a Secrets.  Even a Motel 6 has tissues! (UPDATE - My wife found the tissues.  They were off to the side, stuck in an alcove, in a decorative box)

You might think I'm nit picking, but I'm not.  Nit picking is focusing on one or two small issues.  This place has more issues than I can count.  All the little things add up to a place that is not up par.

Dinner was another fun experience.  We went down to the Seaside Grill, hoping it was better than the lunches we had there.

My wife ordered a medium New York Strip.  She got a London Broil that was well done.  After what I'd seen I figured I should avoid standard beef.  I went with the short rib.  I got a bone with some gristle and fat.  There was maybe four bites of meat on it.

My wife and I both ordered the garlic soup.  We both got the soup, but mine had a bread stick in it.  Hers did not.  How does that even leave the kitchen?

At least I could look forward to desert, right?

They asked if we wanted desert, when we said "yes," they said we were getting the brownie and ice cream.  Forget the menu, that's all they had.  The place had only been open for dinner for about two hours and had at least another three to go.  A bet a lot of people were happy last night.

When the brownie and ice cream came, only one came.  I need a friend of mine to help me adequately imply how I felt.

Thanks bud!

 I should also mention the drink service.  The lady came over and asked for our drinks.  I realize that most of the staff doesn't speak English well.  This lady was exceptional bad when it came to English.  My wife switched to Spanish.  It didn't help.

My wife ordered a Mojito with no sugar.  The lady didn't understand.   After a prolonged, confusing discussion, my wife gave up.  The lady turned to me.  I ordered a beer.

What did we get?  Two Mojitos with what looked like extra sugar.

Thanks again bud!

Jump ahead to breakfast.  We braved the Market Cafe again.  There was no possible way it could be worse than the first time, right?

Yes I was right this time.  It did take nearly 15 minutes to seat us.  That's pretty amazing for a buffet.  In the end we actually were waited on and got coffee!  Twice!  Woot!

I'll take this moment to single out one of the very few bright spots so far.  It's a guy named Balbino.  He's a nervous looking, short guy who seems to be the friendliest person here and actually responds when you say "thank you."

One thing that might be helpful to anyone coming here - pack salt, pepper, ketchup, and mustard.  None of the tables have those.  You might be tempted to ask, but the service here is so slow, you might not get it before you finish your meal.

I'm trying not to complain about the slow service, but it's really slow.  I mean super slow.  I mean this gut could serve twice as fast:

My name is Sclomo and I'll be your server tonight.

It's not the staffs fault either.  At any given meal, it looks like poorly controlled chaos.  I think a lack of training plays a HUGE part.

That's been the story so far.  Poorly trained staff, working their butts off, at resort that is far below par.