Dining Review: Breakfast at the Kona Cafe

Kona Café is the open air table service dining location found in the main lobby of the Polynesian resort. It’s on the second floor across from Ohana. Most people of think of Ohana when they think of dining at the Polynesian. After all Ohana has the character breakfast, it’s a much larger location, and the options at Ohana are a little more diverse.


Does this mean you should skip Kona and just head over to Ohana? No way!

The Food:

Kona has one of the best if not the best breakfasts you’ll find in all of Disney World. If you are the kind of person who likes to stuff themselves senseless first thing in the morning before heading out to ride amusement park rides than this is the place for you.

Kona has some really off the wall options. Sure they have some normal breakfast options but this is Disney World. Who wants normal? We don’t want normal we want TONGA TOAST!

Tonga Toast is multiple slices of French toast, stuffed with bananas, rolled in cinnamon sugar, and covered in strawberry compote. If that doesn’t sound fattening enough it comes with your choice of meat. I have eaten this thing twice and both times I thought I was going to burst after.

If you like coffee than you have to go to Kona. It’s one of the few places in Disney World that actually serves coffee (not that awful liquid poo in a cup you find throughout Disney World). They have a French press pot they will deliver to your table.

The Atmosphere:

Kona is an open air restaurant which means there are no walls between the dining floor and resort lobby. This can lead to some noise issues but it’s by no means a loud restaurant. Beyond that there are only a few things to really point out. The fans are one of those things. It’s not often you would point out a ceiling fan but the ones at Kona are something else. Imagine a bunch of wide fan blades bolted to a tube that spins vertically instead of horizontally. It sounds odd but it works.

The Service:

The service at Kona is up to Disney standards. Nothing really stood out but nothing detracted either. Our server was prompt and friendly. Our order was delivered in a timely manner and we did not feel rushed. This is important when it comes to breakfast. Sometimes the desire to turn over the table becomes very apparent. This was not the case at Kona.

The Price:

I normally avoid cost unless it has a positive or negative impact on the restaurant. In this case it’s a positive. When compared to typical Disney prices Kona is cheap. Considering the fact that you might have to waddle out of the restaurant after eating the Tonga Toast you’d think Disney would set you back $20 for it. It only costs $13. Granted that is expensive when compared to non-Disney prices but for a gut busting meal on Disney property it’s cheap.

Overall the Kona Café is a must do if you are staying at the Polynesian. If you are not staying there but want to do a breakfast on a day you are going to the Magic Kingdom it’s one of the best choices you can make. It’s hard to find many places in Disney World that offer more bang for your dollar.

Photo of the Week: Fireworks Meets the Electric Water Pageant at the Polynesian

This photo was taken over at the Polynesian.  You truly get a new perspective over there.  If you have the time you should try to see the Magic Kingdom fireworks from Polynesian and from the top of the Contemporary.  In both cases it's almost like seeing a whole new show.

For the photo geeks: The octopus is a little blurry thanks to the time delayed shutter but the fireworks came out great. I switched to the in camera dynamic color mode. That comes in hand for fireworks shots.  The main mode I used is shutter priority which means I told the camera how long to expose each shot but that mode lets the camera pick what aperture to use.

Dining Review: Momma Melrose's

When you think of dining at Disney Hollywood Studios a few places come to mind. Most people would think of the Brown Derby, the SciFi, and the Prime Time Café. Most people would not mention Momma Melrose’s.


Momma Melrose’s is an Italian restaurant that’s somewhat hidden away near the Muppets. It has a sign but that sign doesn’t stick out. In fact if you were not looking for Momma Melrose’s you would possibly walk right by it and not even notice it.

The bottom line is this. Momma Melrose’s is forth on most people’s lists because of it’s out of the way location. Momma Melrose’s is a far better value than the Brown Derby, has better food than the Prime Time, and has far better food and is more laid back than the SciFi.

The Food:

As far as park food goes. Momma Melrose’s has some of the best you’ll find at Disney Hollywood Studios. Granted the food is not as fancy as the food you’ll find at the Brown Derby but it’s still excellent. For example – for an appetizer I ordered the minestrone. Granted there were some better options and the minestrone was the cheapest option but if you order the soup you will find out what kind of place you are dealing with. A lot of restaurants use cheap premade soup and just reheat it. If Momma Melrose’s did that I could not tell. The soup was good. If they are using canned soup they are not cutting corners on quality.

For an entrée I ordered the Charred Strip Steak. Another test of a restaurant is to check and see if they can cook a steak to order. Momma Melrose’s can cook a steak to order. That’s all I was really looking for but that’s not all I got. There was something else that comes with the steak that is shocking. I’m now going to say something that is going to irk a lot of people.

Jiko does not have the best macaroni and cheese in Disney World. In fact it’s not even close. Momma Melrose’s serves a macaroni and cheese that puts Jiko’s to shame. I’ve had both. Jiko’s was cold and bland compared to the one at Momma Melrose’s. I did not expect to find something like this tucked away inside a theme park.

The deserts are what you would expect at an Italian restaurant. It’s hard to go wrong with any of the classics. The Panna Cotta, Chocolate Cannoli Cake, and the Chocolate Amerettini Cheesecake are all worth trying.

The Service:

The service at Momma Melrose’s is up to Disney Standards. In fact it was a little better than our average Disney dining experience. Our server wanted to make sure we were informed and easily answered any questions we had. She even took the time to make sure I knew all of the ingredients in my order. She wanted to make sure I knew that they used pancetta to make their mac and cheese. This might sound odd but I guess they have run into problems with this. I guess some people have issues with pancetta.

The Atmosphere:

The atmosphere at Momma Melrose’s is odd. It’s basically a warehouse with a lot of junk hanging everywhere. On the surface you would think that the Imagineers just cheesed out on this place. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Momma Melrose’s has one of the deepest back stories you can find. On top of that the actual history of how this restaurant came into existence is rather interesting. I’ve heard the history from both Jim Korkis and Jim Hill. If you Google them you should be able to find the detailed history. I’ll put the short story here.

Momma Melrose’s moved to Hollywood to try and become an actress. She couldn’t find any work so she started cooking for the actors out of a warehouse right next to the studio lots. The actors started giving her random gifts to help spruce the place up. She also just grabbed whatever she could find to decorate the place so it wouldn’t look like a warehouse.

When you know the back story the decor makes more sense and it actually becomes fun. You will start noticing all of the tiny little details that are packed into this place.

Now the actual history is much different. Momma Melrose’s was not on the original plans. It came about as a scramble to find something to stick in this building. The original plan was to have a Muppet’s themed restaurant. The Swedish Chef was going to be in the kitchen. Rizzo and his buddies would deliver food on a little track built into the place. It was going to be one crazy place to eat.

The Muppet’s idea ended up falling through and the Imagineers had to scramble. Sometimes great things happen when you don’t over plan something.

Conclusion:

Momma Melrose’s is a hidden gem of a restaurant. Sadly in some ways it really is hidden. Don’t let that stop you. Try this place the next time you are in the Studios and want to hit a table service location for lunch.

Twisted Disney Breaks the Top Ten!

Earlier this morning "Twisted Disney" broke into the top ten books in the travel category on Amazon.com. It also broke into the top 40 in the humor category.

You can get a FREE copy of "Twisted Disney" until Monday night. Grab yours while you can!

Get "Twisted Disney" for Free Starting 3/23!

Starting Firday March 23rd, you can get a copy of Twisted Disney on your Kindle or any device that can use Amazon's kindle application!

Grab a copy before it the price goes back up to $2.99.  You have until Sunday night to download "Twisted Disney" without paying for it.

You can get twisted Disney here.

New Disney Book Available - Twisted Disney: Satire and Shenanigans

Twisted Disney: Satire and Shenanigans is now available for the Kindle e-reader.  The book is basically a “best of” from this blog with additional commentary about each of the articles.

This is my first book and if it goes well I have two more in the works.  The next book would be my guide to Disney dining and the third book would be a pictorial guide to Disney World.

Right now the book is only available for the Kindle.  If anyone actually buys the book I might try to convert it to an epub format and see if I can get it released through iTunes.

Please forgive me for the quality.  I did everything myself so I don’t doubt that there are a few (or more) typos and grammar errors.  Also I couldn’t get the table of contents to work but other than that it seems to be fine.

The price is 2.99 and for that you get over 100 (actual)pages of Disney madness.  The mobi format clocked in at over 2000.

You can download the book from Amazon here.

Photo of the Week - Illuminations

Fireworks photos are fun.  They are also are annoying at times.  This photo is an example of when you capture most of the things you wanted to.  When it comes to fireworks follow this general rule - setup your camera and then shoot almost non-stop.  You'll get about five to ten good shots and about a hundred that are just average or bad.

I won't now recommend trying to time fireworks shots.  That can be insanely frustrating.

Dining Review: Le Cellier

Le Cellier has such a reputation among Disney fans that it’s hard to go their without preconceptions.   You go expecting everything to be perfect.  After all, to get in requires booking and ADR as soon as your window opens up.  Even then you might not get in.  Can Le Cellier live up to that kind of hype?

The Food:

The food at Le Cellier is very good and consistent.   If you like red meat this is the place for you.  It seems like everything on this menu was mad to clog your arteries.  Even the options that don’t involve meat like the cheddar cheese soup has enough fat to make you swoon but it sure is good to be bad every now and then.

As far as the entrees go I will warn any vegans that there is not one option available on the standard menu.  You will need to let them know (in advance would be best) that you would like a vegan option. The apps are not much better either.  None of them are vegan  but at least they can leave the cheese off on a number of them.

For desert you can nab a lovely indulgence called maple syrup crème brulee.  If you don’t like custard then go with the tri of chocolate.  There are some other options including a no sugar added mousse.

The Drinks:

Why did I put drinks in a different category?  Le Cellier has some of the best alcoholic beverages in Disney World.  It’s a hidden secret.  For example they offer a flight of Unibroue beers.  These are the best beers available in Disney World but be warned!  They will knock you on your butt.  They have almost as much alcohol as a wine.

You can also get a great flight of martinis.  My wife did that and loved them.  They really mix it up and offer a number of different choices.  It’s really too bad Le Cellier doesn’t have a bar you can just go to and order a drink.

The Atmosphere:

I’ve covered this before and the atmosphere in Le Cellier is decent.  There are a lot of exposed wood accents that give the place a feel like you are in a cellar or dark tavern.  My only problem with the atmosphere is it feels claustrophobic.  I’m not a claustrophobic person but I feel like I’m in bomb shelter when I’m in Le Cellier.  I think this is because of the comparatively low ceiling, dark tones, and somewhat small dining room.

The Service:

It’s hard to beat the service at Le Cellier.  The servers are not stuffy they are the polar opposite of Chefs de France (see my review of Chefs de France for more info).  They are warm and friendly and will interact with you.  They also always seem to be smiling.

The Cost:

Here is where Le Cellier falls short.  The prices here are insane.  It’s hard to justify the prices here.  They just keep creeping up and up.   Add that to the fact that now Disney charges two dining plan credits to eat here for dinner and you start to lose value fast.

In the end Le Cellier is a great restaurant but if you cannot get a lunch reservation you’re better off going to a different dining option for dinner.   The dinner is just too expensive to justify if you are on the dining plan and it will hurt your wallet if you are not on the dining plan.   It’s not like one of the signature dining locations at the resorts.  This is still a theme park dining location.

Photo of the Week - Star Burst

Capturing a photo like this isn't as hard as it seems.  You just need to play around with the settings on your camera.  Just follow these tips:

1 - If you camera has different "film" modes change it to the "vivid" setting.  It may be called something else but you basically want the very colorful mode.

2 - Use a tripod or flat surface.  In Disney a trashcan is normally works well.

3 - Put the camera into shutter priority sometimes labeled by an "S" on the dial.  This mode lets you tell the camera how long to keep the shutter open for each photo.

4 - Set the shutter speed to one second.

5 - Forget steps 1, 3, and 4 and just put your camera in fireworks mode.  It will do something very similar.

What following the steps above or using the fireworks mode does is cause the streaks you see.  You can get some really fun effects when you use these settings on fireworks.

What this does is captured the streaks you see.

Disney Changes Security Policies After Pepper Spray Incident

After last month’s incident near the Tower of Terror in Disney’s California Adventure in which a belligerent, violent drunk was pepper sprayed in an effort to keep him from hurting other people, Disney has decided to review its security policies.

After reviewing its policies and after considering the outcry that came from the many people who viewed the YouTube video and declared themselves experts on what transpired, Disney has officially made changes to how they will hand such situations in the future.

As of March 1^st, 2012 Disney stopped equipping their security with pepper spray.  Instead they will now carry bamboo canes. 

Bamboo canes have been shown effective in other countries as a way to punish those who transgress the laws.  In fact Disney is simply joining a long held tradition in some Asian countries where people convicted of minor crimes are severely beaten with canes. 

To ensure there is no misunderstanding Disney has determined that thorough beating with a cane is acceptable in the following situations.

·         When a drunk starts beating people up.

·         Anyone who records an incident while turning the cameras to themselves for stupid comments no one wants to hear.

·         Anyone who repeatedly yells “There are kids here!” or a similar comment instead of removing their kids from the area.

·         When a flock of teens are harassing families.

·         When someone is inappropriately dressed and it offends other people.

·         When one person holds a place in line for a group of other people.

·         When a person is caught cutting in line.

·         When a person is caught passing gas in a crowd and the said person just doesn’t care.

·         Anyone who is abusing a cast member over a minor issue in and effort to obtain free services or a refund.

·         Anyone caught stopping in the middle of a walkway for no apparent reason.

·         Anyone who does not control their children and allows them to touch or harass other people.

·         People caught exhibiting excessive displays of affection in public.

Anyone who rides Stitch’s Great Escape will also be beaten with a cane but not as a form of discipline.  The beating will be issued to help distract them from the pain that is inflicted from that ride.

Many experts agree that this move will greatly reduce the unwanted shenanigans that often plague the Disney theme parks.   Theme park operators across the globe are paying close attention to the impact of this new policy and are expected to adopt similar policies in the near future.

If you could not tell this is a piece of satire.  The above post is a joke based on recent events.