Don’t Mess With Mike Newell!

People think Mike Newell is just a co-host of WDW Today who runs the tech side, works at a large telecommunications company, and runs Mouse World Radio.

Those people are wrong!

There are a few life lessons everyone should know or learn. You don’t pee into the wind, you don’t make any mention to your spouse’s weight (ever), and you don’t mess with Mike Newell!

Why not? Let me relate the results of some research (if you don’t know what that means by now, go away).

A few years ago Mike was working on a new kind of data compression to reduce the size of his enormous Disney music collection. He did not manage to do what he intended but he did stumble across something else. He discovered a subliminal method of mind control. That mind control software is now embedded in the audio stream on all Mouse World Radio channels and on every WDW Today podcast.

Most people don’t notice any of the symptoms but they are there. Anyone who has been entrapped by this software finds it impossible to go for more than a week without listening to WDW Today or Mouse World Radio.

Go ahead and try. After eight days you get the shakes, after ten days you can’t sleep, after twelve days internal bleeding starts, at fifteen days you brain spontaneously combusts.

Mike’s software has far more power. He can cause almost anything to happen to anyone if they are listening to Mouse World Radio. Some of the other hosts of WDW Today (I’ll not name them to save embarrassment) once said he was a “Frequent visitor to Orlando area Hooters” (episode 63) on the podcast. One evening, a week later they were listening to MWR. Suddenly they soiled themselves. That’s the kind of control Mike has.

There is another report of someone who was driving a green Ford F150 who cut Mike off on the highway. He wrote down their license plate number. When he got home he wrote in a command into the data stream that if you had that license plate, your head would implode. A month later a man in NY was found with an imploded head. The man owned a green F150.

Am I afraid? No. I found cure. You just need to wear tin foil boxer shorts. It’s not very comfortable but it protects me from the madness that Mike Newell has unleashed.