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Friday, January 15, 2010

Len Testa Hates Donald Duck

Recently it came to light that there is a recommendation in the “Unofficial Guide to Walt Disney World” that is inaccurate.

As you may know if you follow the blog I ate at Yack and Yeti on my last trip to Walt Disney World. I ordered the duck and it was horrifyingly bad (see Yak Yack and Yeti).

I emailed the gang at the WDW Today Podcast to relay my experience. They answered the email in episode 633. When responding Len asked “Who orders the duck?!?” despite the fact that the duck is recommend in the book he co-authors.

I found it odd that Len would make that statement despite the fact that at least one person has claimed (emphasis on “claimed”) he writes every review, experience, reader feedback, and comment in the Unofficial Guide. That made me do what I do. I looked into it.

I discovered a dark secret and a massive feud that has been raging for years.

Back in 1998 Len was in WDW for a research trip. He was in line for Space Mountain and was just about to get on when Donald Duck cut in front of him taking the last spot on the train. This wouldn’t have been a big deal except for the fact that the ride broke down after that train left the station. Len had to wait for an hour to ride thanks to Donald.

Len got over this in time but another event broke the flood gates open.

In 1999 Donald Duck convinced the Disney big wigs to shut down the Alien Encounter in Tomorrow Land in the Magic Kingdom. This greatly upset Len. Even though the Alien in EAC was not the same species as him he saw it as an attack on all extraterrestrials (see Len Testa – Tequila: The Shocking Connection).

Things calmed down a little when Len’s distant cousin Stich was announced as the star of the new attraction. However, things really hit the fan when the ride opened. Donald ensured that the ride was AWFUL! He ensured that it was a slap in the face to all aliens.

This was the last straw. Len pulled some strings and made sure that duck became a recommended dish in the Unofficial Guide.

Donald didn’t realize the effect of the recommendation until six of his cousins disappeared without a trace. When Donald looked into it he discovered an explosion in the number of ducks being eaten through out Disney World.

In response Donald pulled strings and ensured that the duck was one of the most overcooked, tasteless dishes in Disney World. He also convinced the powers that be to force Stich into another awful attraction. In fact Stich’s Super Sonic Celebration turned out so bad it was shut down after less than a month of shows.

It is rumored that to get back at Donald, Len has recently taken up the sport of duck hunting and convinced the vets over at the Animal Kingdom to castrate all mallard ducks they catch on property.

No one knows how this feud will end but be warned. If you find your self in Disney World and see Len and Donald at the same time, take cover! It won’t be pretty.

DISCLAIMER: The above story is mostly fiction with accurate facts worked in. It’s never been proven that Len is an alien (it’s just common knowledge). Len claims he did not write the review for Yak and Yeti (see episode 668 of the WDW Today Podcast). Donald did not cut Len in line in 1998 (I think he was in front of him to begin with). There is no proof that Donald was involved with the decision to shut down EAC, open Stich’s Great Escape, or involved with the Super Sucky Celebration.


  1. Ha! I'd forgot we recommended the duck. I thought it was the seafood and chicken. It's the seafood and duck, isn't it? Darn.

  2. Seafood?!?....Hmmm....did you get into a fight with Nemo too?