Pirates of the Caribbean: On Strange Tides

I loved the first pirates film. I think most people would agree that it was the best of the three movies. The second pirates film was entertaining but it went a little nuts as far as the story went. The third pirates film was crap. I hated it. It had a few funny parts but it was mostly bizarre and more of a fantasy film than an action film.

It’s official. There is going to be a pirates four entitled “On Strange Tides.” I’m not excited at all. After the last two films there is nothing that would lead me to believe this movie will be good. I think the use of the term “strange” will be fitting. The last two movies were so strange they led me to think they were having an identity crisis and couldn’t figure out what they wanted to be.

Right now we know very little about the movie. We know that the basic idea is Sparrow vs. Barbosa with a female pirate who eggs them on. We also know Orlando Bloom will not be returning so the whole “Flying Dutchman” story should be gone.

Joining Orlando on the not returning list is Keira Knightley (there goes my interest in the movie). She had a good character. She was nice and balanced. I can’t imagine what the new female character is going to be like. If it’s anything like Calypso I’ll be avoiding this movie.

My hope is that Disney will hire a writer who will try and redirect the series back to a pirate movie and away from the unexplainable mess it’s become. What made the first one so good was the fact that you could relate to a lot of the things in it. It felt like a good old pirate action movie with treasure, sword fighting, sea battles, and grog swilling scoundrels.

My fear is we’ll see more sea monsters, magic, gods, demented afterlife’s, a heart in a box that are still beating, an army of undead, special effects gone crazy, and a guy with an octopus face. I think I’ll be able to tell by the trailers alone if this is going to be a movie I wan to see.

Disney Accidents

Some people have criticized Disney recently because of the deaths of three cast members. I normally don’t take Disney’s side on most subjects. I often poke fun at them for not thinking things through or just being stupid. This is one area where I will defend them.

1 – The Monorail Accident: How long has the Monorail been in operation? How many people have ridden the Monorail over that period of time? I’m just going to guess at the number but I’d say it’s at least 500 million. So that means for every 500 million people who ride the Monorail, one person dies. There is nothing wrong with your safety policies if you have the ratio on mass transit. So what happened? It looks like it was gross human error. The safety procedures were not followed. What could Disney have done about that?

2 – The Jack Sparrow Accident: First let me say that I’ve seen this show. This is not an extreme show. It’s just a nice funny show. What can you do to prevent someone from slipping? He was on tarmac. The shoes the actors wear are not crazy. Accidents happen. What are the odds someone is going to slip and strike their head so hard they break a vertebra? It was a fluke accident.

3 – The Indiana Jones Accident: During a rehearsal a cast member blotches a roll and breaks his neck. This one is beyond a fluke. Take into consideration that he was a stunt man in a stunt show. Also remember he was doing a minor stunt that I did all the time when I was a kid. He was just doing a rolling summersault. He wasn’t jumping off a building or anything wild. How can you blame Disney for that? If anything he was doing something that promotes safety. He was practicing.

In the past Disney has made some big mistakes and they have had some loose safety policies that have led to injury and death. In all cases they made changes to try and prevent any future accidents.

Disney has to be one of the safest parks in the world. I’ve never felt unsafe while in a Disney Park or resort. If you want to feel like you are in danger, go check out your local fair. The fairs are starting up in New England this time of year. I wouldn’t be surprised to see duct tape holding some of those rides together. It is the only place you can go and have the merry go round be considered a thrill ride because you don’t know if it’s going to give way seriously injury you.

If you want to criticize Disney do it where they deserve it. Need some ideas? How about: D23, ticket prices, hotel prices, food prices, cut backs, layoffs, poor quality merchandise, ride closures, shameless self promotion, and stuffing Stich down our throats.

Captain Jack Sparrow’s Pirate Academy Video Has Been Posted

I have posted the video of the Captain Jack Sparrow Pirate Academy.

This is a funny show that took place near Pirates of the Caribbean in Adventure Land in the Magic Kingdom. I’m not sure if this show is still going on.

The video was taken in December 2008 and can be viewed HERE.