New Video Posted: Malestrom

Malestrom is an old school boat dark ride.  I first rode it as a child.  Back then I thought it was awesome and made my parents go on it multiple times. 

Over the years Malestrom has really aged.  It turns out that it's not one of the classic rides that doesn't age.  However it's not the same as the movie that follows it. Nothing aged worse than the film after Malestrom. 

I'm glad I caught this ride while I could.   Some day it won't be there anymore.

You can see the ride here.

Photo of the Week - Funny Sign In Norway

I challenge you! Read this sign without laughing! There are so many things about this sign are ironic.  Such terms as fast-paced, journey, and of course modern are so inaccurate they are astonishing.

And don't forget! Supervise children at all times! Otherwise they might fall asleep.

Disney Announces New Killer Marathon

Due to the success of the all the current marathons Disney announced a new kind of marathon last week.

The new marathon has a brutal course that only the physically and mentally strong stand any chance of finishing. In fact many are saying that course is impossible and that no human being can endure such punish ment.

“We’ve developed a marathon that we believe no one can finish,” stated Disney spokes-robot WALL-E.

The course consists of the following path and tasks:

1 - Run from the entrance of the Magic Kingdom to “It’s a Small World.”

2 - Ride “It’s a Small World.”

3 - Run to “Stitch’s Great Escape.”

4 - Ride “Stitch’s Great Escape.”

5 - Repeat steps two through four three times.

6 – Run to Epcot.

7 – Run to the Norway Pavilion.

8 – Enter the exit of “Maelstrom” and just watch the movie.

9 – Run to the “Imagination Pavilion.”

10 – Ride the awful imagination ride.

11 – Repeat steps seven through ten three times.

12 – Run to “Mission Space”

13 – Ride “Mission Space” six times in a row

14 – Stagger back to the Magic Kingdom

15 – Run to the “Tiki Room Under New Management”

16 – View the “Tiki Room Under New Management”

17 – Cross the finish line which is the exit of the ride

It’s currently unknown if the physical or mental aspect of the marathon will eliminate the most competitors. Being forced to ride the worst rides in Disney World is painful if you only have to do it once. Being forced to do it over and over while exhausting ones self will most likely prove fatal.

Norway

I remember when I was a kid Norway was brand new. It was the last country to be added to the world showcase and it was exciting. I thought the trolls were cool, the people talked funny (hey I was like eight back then), and there was a boat ride!

In the late 80’s the boat ride in Norway was amazing. I made my parents take me on it a bunch of times because I loved it.

On my last trip I was a little excited to go back to this ride. Could Maelstrom hold up after 20 years? Well…kind of.

I have to say the mural in the queue is as good as I remember it. If you’ve never seen it you need to go over to this ride and check it out. I really think making a good mural has become a lost art. So many classic murals have been destroyed over the years. It’s really sad how many of those classics have bitten the dust and it seems like new rides don’t have murals.

The ride is still enjoyable. The beginning seems corny now. The eyes that light up as you ascend up the lift his is really showing its age. Many of the scenes are still very nice and have even taken on an almost iconic feel to them now. The troll scene in particular has become a classic. You won’t find another scene like this anywhere. Your boat seems like it is going to go off a cliff but instead the trolls send you backwards down a “waterfall.” What comes next always amazed me as a kid. The oil platform seemed so big when I was a kid. As an adult I can see why. It is two stories tall. Anything that is inside and two stories tall is big.

One thing that is often overlooked in older rides is the background. At most theme parks you ignore the background because there is not much to see. In Disney dark rides the backgrounds are amazing. In the oil platform scene in Maelstrom the background is great. You can see the flames on other oil platforms. This might not seem like a big deal but the flames are moving. You could cut corners and just paint them on. That’s what most theme parks would have done. Disney gave the background a lifelike feel by that simple detail.

Anyone who has ridden Maelstrom remembers the end of the boat ride. You arrive in a quaint costal town lit up by street lights. The attention to detail here is amazing. It is hard to describe how pleasant this little holding tank is. I use that term because it really is just a holding tank for the Norway movie.

Once the doors open, the smart people run through and right out the exit, the inexperienced, mentally ill, or sadists, sit down and watch the movie. I’ve covered this movie before. It is worth watching at least once. Mainly because it is so outdated that you can’t help but laugh. This movie, more than any other in Disney World is painfully outdated.

Despite the movie and some outdated effects, Maelstrom is still a classic. Next I need to find someone who has never been on it so I can see if I’m right or if nostalgia is influencing my opinions.