The Most Neglected Park

People love to complain. When it comes to Disney it’s no different. WDW fans love to rip apart rides they do not like and things they think the company is ignoring. Sometimes I have to admit the complaints are warranted. For example in the Magic Kingdom you find Stitch’s Great Escape is universally hated but Disney has no plans to do anything about it (at least none that have been leaked).

In the Animal Kingdom people rip a majority of Dino Land USA. I totally agree with that. There is no reason to go over there unless you are going to Dinosaur.

In the Hollywood Studios you have Sounds Dangerous which should have been put out of it’s misery a long time ago.

Then there is Epcot. When you break it down Epcot is the most neglected park in all of WDW. There are a lot of reasons for this:

1 – Ellen’s Energy Adventure: This ride is so outdated it’s painful. Ellen looks young because she WAS YOUNG when she did the film for this attraction. PLEASE someone fix this movie!

2 – Mission Space: Mission Space is a bad movie glued to a ride that spins. I’ve ridden it twice and don’t plan on riding it again. It’s re-ride value is really lacking.

3 – Wonders of Life Pavilion: I can’t think of a time in Disney’s past when they shut down such a large portion of a park to never reopen it again. This pavilion just sits there like a skin tag. You don’t want to look at it because it’s unpleasant but you can’t help yourself.

4 – Imagination Pavilion: Possibly the most disappointing pavilion ever; the Imagination Pavilion went from the best to the worst. The ride is broken and now we have a 20+ year old movie installed in a theater and sadly, that’s an upgrade over what was there. The real kicker is, this is one of the most beautiful pavilions from the outside. Too bad inside is rotten to the core.

5 – Spaceship Earth: I love Spaceship Earth but what’s up with the dark tunnel. Did you run out funding? Was there nothing you could even recycle and put in there?

6 – The Trading Post thingy: It was supposed to be an African Pavilion instead it’s turned into a boil on the backside of World Showcase. What a waste of space. I think only people with heatstroke stop here.

7 – World Showcase: I love world showcase so why am I listing it? Have you ever seen the original plans for the World Showcase? It was supposed to have twice the countries it has now. They were supposed to expand behind the American Adventure. Instead everything stopped after Norway was added. BOOOOO!

8 – Norway: Norway is a cool pavilion but it has the worst movie in the World Showcase. That movie is so bad it’s laughable. It’s not supposed to be funny but it is. I feel bad for the cast members from Norway who have to put up with that.

9 – Italy: Not much there is there? That’s because it had its ride cut.

10 – Germany: What’s in that big building? It was going to be a ride but it got cut too.

11 – Japan: Wouldn’t it be cool to have a Mt. Fuji ride? Sure…unless you’re Kodak. Fuji film was going to sponsor a Mt. Fuji ride. Kodak stonewalled it.

Ok I’m done. I think you get my point. Epcot feels like could and should be so much more.

Why the Magic Kingdom is Dry

You can get a drink around the world in Epcot. You can toss back two Long Islands and then go on thrill rides in DHS. You can drink and then laugh at the crazy animals in the Animal Kingdom. You can find a drink in almost every corner of Disney World but you will not find a drop (for sale by Disney) in the Magic Kingdom.

A lot of people do not understand why Disney does not serve alcohol in the Magic Kingdom. After all if they did maybe more people would ride “Stich’s Great Escape” or “It’s a Small World.”

Some people think Disney doesn’t sell alcohol in the Magic Kingdom because they want to keep it family friendly. That sounds good but all of the Disney parks are family friendly.

There is a reason why Disney doesn’t sell alcohol in the Magic Kingdom. Before I relate the story I have to say that this is a serious post. Most of the time when I start a post like this it’s followed by a insane, completely made up, comical story. That is not the case with this post.

In the early 1950’s theme parks / carnivals were dying. Across the country they were closing and being boarded up. It was in this climate that Walt Disney completed and opened Disneyland.

Nothing like Disneyland had ever been built. Walt’s idea for the park was create an environment for the family. Not just for kids but the entire family.

Walt was not anti-alcohol. He was against anything that would send a family in different directions. What he really wanted to avoid was the typical theme park where the dad would dole out ride tickets to the kids and then go drink at the bar or watch as the kids ran around. He wanted the entire family to go on the rides and experience everything together. He designed each ride to be experienced and enjoyed by each member of the family. He did not design attractions for children, attractions for teens, and other attractions for adults.

That mentality still exists today. As the first park to open in Disney World, the Magic Kingdom followed that mentality. It was built for families to enjoy everything together and since your kids don’t drink (at least I hope they don’t) that means no alcohol.

The Grumpiest Job in the World

I can think of a lot of jobs that wouldn’t be fun. Disney is full of them. Somehow most of the cast members keep smiling. This always amazed me. You might be moping up barf at the exit of Mission Space but you somehow seem to be happy.

On my last trip to the WDW I found one job that seemed to be the most miserable. I base this assumption on numerous experiences and observations. It’s a job I never thought was that bad but it must be. The job I am talking about is a WDW Bus Driver.

Throughout my last vacation a majority of the bus drivers were moody, grumpy, and seemed to be overall miserable. There were a couple of exceptions but as a whole they were shockingly bad.

The first example was the first bus we got on. The bus driver didn’t great us or even look in our direction. I didn’t think much of it until we got going. There was a kid on the bus who was cranky and being noisy. The kid was awful. I’ve dealt with and ignored much worse. I guess the bus driver hadn’t because he cranked the volume for the music through the roof. He had to be asked to turn it down. I had to bite my lip so I didn’t start laughing. I didn’t want the person driving to go postal because I was laughing at him.

Another example was a bus driver who looked like they should have been hanging out with the trolls on Maelstrom. He had a personality to match. He didn’t crank the volume on us but he was not pleasant. When my wife and I get off a bus we thank the driver. When we did this we got a grunt in response.

Another bus driver was clearly grumpy and proved it to everyone through his driving. To say he was aggressive is an understatement. For a minute I thought we got on the bus version of Lights Motors Action. He also seemed confused when it came to using a break. Instead of consistent pressure he’d pump the break. My wife didn’t get motion sickness on any ride on our last vacation but she got it on this bus.

I tried to figure out why the bus drivers would be so grumpy. I cam up with a few ideas:

1 – They’ve had the same outfits for over ten years. The uniform hasn’t changed in at least 10 years and that would be assuming the uniforms changed just before my last trip as a single guy in 99.

2 – Disney only uses medical test subjects for bus drivers. This would make sense. I think it would explain a lot of things.

3 – The bus drivers are told to do their best imitation of Grumpy. I actually think this would be a good solution. Just make the drivers dress like Grumpy. They you’d think they were acting.

4 – All the bus drivers are raging alcoholics and are actually hung over. Sadly this might be true in a few cases.

5 – Cutbacks have made the job just plain awful. Ok this is the most likely reason.

Whatever the real reason is I’m amazed at the number of grumpy bus drivers. There was one bus driver however that really stood out from the rest. I mentioned the bad but here was the one outstandingly pleasant bus driver:

On Saturday, February 27^th 2010 my wife and I ate at the California Grill. Around 10:00pm we got on the monorail and went to the TTC. Around 10:15 to 10:30 we went to the bus area. There was a bus parked there. We walked up and said we needed to go to the Boardwalk Inn. The lady driving the bus was very nice and told us to hop on. No one else showed up. She personally drove us over to the Boardwalk Inn and chatted to us the entire time. This was hours into her shift and she had a few hours to go. She also drove like a sane person. Imagine that.

2010 Disney Montage!

The best Disney montage video EVER...this week...has been posted to YouTube. The video is set to the Robin Hood Prince of Thieves theme and was filmed in 1080p.

I don't want to hear any complaints. I know all this footage is from February and yes it took me five months to get around to editing this.

If you like it, rate it or leave a comment on YouTube.

You can see the video here.

Father Quits the Carousel of Progress

In a shocking move “Father” also known as John from the Carousel of Progress walked off the job yesterday.

Angered by Disney management ignoring repeated requests to update the ride John stormed off the stage in a profanity riddled tirade.

Witnesses reported that John was slurring his speech and look disheveled throughout the first few scenes of the attraction. When the final scene started he stood up and yelled “To hell with it!” and told the audience that he’d had enough and couldn’t let the audience see such an embarrassing end to the show. He then proceeded to yell at a child in the front row and tell him to stop picking his “[bleeping] nose.”

According to his agent John had been very upset by the final scene. He felt that is was a an embarrassment when compared to the scenes before it.

In recent years John and other members of the cast had been trying to convince Disney to change the final scene to a scene from the 80’s or 90’s because a final scene that is in the past is a better ending than a fake future that needs to be updated every other year to be even close to accurate.

“Most of audience has a cell phone that is ten times more advanced than anything in the final scene,” stated the daughter – Patricia.

“I don’t blame him for flipping out. Between the lack of updating, the kids picking their noses, and the teenagers groping each other in the back rows, this is a brutal job,” stated the mother – Sarah.

Whether Disney will try to make amends with John or try to find a permanent replacement is unknown at this time. Until then “Jose” the talking bird from the Tiki Room will be filling in.

Growing Up Disney

I've posted a new video to YouTube. It's called "Growing Up Disney" and it takes tracks a family at Disney World over a 25 year period from the mid 80's to 2010.

From the beginning you know it's the 80's. The hair, the fashions, and even Disney all scream 80's.

From there we move on to the early 90's. Again you see evidence of the era in not only what people are wearing but also the fact that Roger Rabbit was still roaming the parks.

The next step is the mid to late 90's. You will start to notice large changes in the family members as they age but some of the Disney experiences have remained the same but are now viewed from another angle.

There are a couple of photos from the mide 2000's. You'll see a new generation introduced to Disney. You'll also see the last photos of one member of the family in Disney World. Another thing you might notice is the lack of some of the family members. The last Disney vacation with all the family members took place in the late 90's.

The final photos are from 2009 and 2010. You can see what 25 years does to the little kid in the first photo. However, Pluto is still Pluto.

The entire slideshow is set to the music of "It's a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow."

You can see the video here.

I Bought Another Hat

My string of pointless hat purchases continued on my last trip to the world. I did a post about a year ago about my history of hat buying in WDW. If you read that post you know that I almost never wear hats and don’t really like hats but for some reason I always end up buying a hat on my Disney World vacations.

So what did I end up with this time? I have to say this is the first hat I bought because I fell in love with it. It was in Spanish. I don’t speak or read Spanish but I knew what it said. To make sure it said what I thought it did I ran over to my wife and asked her to translate.

The hat is orange and brown. It has the monorail on it. It also says “Please Stand Clear of the Doors” in Spanish. I don’t think I need to explain why I bought this. Any hardcore WDW dork knows why.

One thing about this hat that stands out is the fact that you have to explain it to about 99.9% of people you meet. All of the other Disney hats I’ve bought explain themselves. This one is so obscure, people have no idea why you are wearing it. After you explain it they still have no idea why you are wearing it.

I can’t imagine I’ll ever buy another Disney hat. Then again I say that after every trip.

CMDTA on His Own: Magic Kingdom Extra Magic Hours

On my last trip to the world I tried both the evening and morning Extra Magic Hours. There is a huge difference between the two and I am not talking about time.

If you take advantage of the morning hours you will be in a ghost town. I took a picture of the castle with almost no one in front of it and this was just before the park opened to everyone. By taking advantage of the morning hours you’ll be able to do a number of rides with little or no wait.

Evening Hours are a totally different animal. Most people will tough it out and do the evening hours. The parks are not only packed during those hours but packed all day long because they draw more people to that park. The only benefit you will get is if you stick it out until the last hour because people start to leave the parks then.

Overall people don’t want to get up early but they are willing to stay out late. Keep that in mind when deciding if you are going to take advantage of the extra magic hours.

Disney Helps People Who Fail the “Three Click” Test

To ride the new Harry Potter ride, guests must not only fit in the ride vehicle but make the safety bar click three times. If a guest fails to get the third click they deemed to be a chunky butt and turned away.

To embarrass the average guest even further Universal has deployed fat police to look for average to large guests trying to get on the ride. If the fat police spot you they will pull you out of line.

“Universal displayed the mental capacity of a slug when they designed that ride,” said Donald Duck in an interview. “A guest who is 5’10” and weighs over 220lbs normally cannot ride. That’s a huge proportion of our guests.”

To ease the pain of failing the three click test, Disney is offering free admission to any average to large guest who turns in a valid Universal day pass. The guest will also receive a shirt that says “I just failed the three click test. I’M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!”

When asked how Disney would recoup their losses Donald stated, “You have to remember two things: One – we can afford to help our valued guests. Other parks might make fun of them but they are always welcome here. Two – The people Universal is preventing from riding eat the most. We’ll be just fine.”

In preparation for the expected crowds Disney is stocking up with extra turkey legs, popcorn, Dole Whips, and other beloved treats. All Disney restaurants will also be fully staffed for the foreseeable future.

(If you couldn’t tell by the fact Donald Duck was the spokesperson – this is a fake news report. However, I think it would be one of the greatest PR stunts in Disney history)

Photo of the Week - Illuminations

One of the best things about Illuminations is how the show can be different every time you see it by simply changing where you watch it. There are even some locations that allow you to see the show from an elevated position. Just keep an eye out and you might find one of those locations.

CMDTA on His Own: Reflections of China

I like most of the movies in the World Showcase. I can even find a way to enjoy the movie in Norway because I find great humor in it. It’s so bad it’s good.

I had never seen Reflections of China. I’d seen the original movie but never this version. The waiting area is nice. There are enough distractions to keep you occupied or you can just sit down and rest for a while.

The movie itself is in the circle vision format which means you are surrounded by screens. I have to say, without this format I have to say this would be one brutally boring movie. It’s just not a good movie. It’s decent and you’ll get to see some of China’s features but it’s not as good as the movie in France or Canada. This one just falls flat.

I’d recommend seeing this movie once but I don’t see a reason to go back to it multiple times.