How to fix the worst ride in the “World”

Many people agree that Stitch’s Great Escape is the worst ride in Disney World. It’s hard to find the words to describe how bad it is. The only thing I can say is that I’ve never heard of anyone giving it a thumbs up. More people would recommend the “Tooth Chipper” from an old episode of the Simpsons before recommending Stich’s Great Escape. There are so many things wrong with this ride it’s almost comical.

After thinking about it, I’ve come up with a way to fix Stich’s Great Escape without breaking the budget.

In the pre-ride – scrap the whole prison thing, it just doesn’t work. Bring it back to the original idea of EAC and show a friendly example of a teleportation with Skippy. Take the time to add a good amount of humor into this but avoid the cartoon crap that’s currently a big part of the ride. At the end of the preshow tell everyone that one person is going to be teleported across the room. Then pick someone over the age of 18 who is willing to play along.

In the teleport room build two new tubes on opposite sides if the room with an elevator that goes down below the floor. The volunteer steps in, is surrounded by fog and is lowered under the attraction to where a cast member is waiting. The cast member leads the volunteer to the other elevator and gives them an ugly shirt and has them put it on. While this is happening there is a lot of stuff going on up above that makes it seems like the person it going through the solar system and then ends up at the other “teleporter.” When that happens the person is send back up in the elevator in another cloud of fog. Then a there is a wise crack about the persons shirt being scrambled in the process but that’s better than last time when the person got scrambled and came out looking like this guy – the camera would then focus on someone else in the audience.

For the third part Stich is teleported in via the center tube and then does some funny stuff like spit on someone he thinks needs a shower. Stich would also be interviewed by the narrator and give some funny responses that involve people in the audience. For example ask him what he likes to wear and then have him say not like that guy and point out someone in the audience. Then have another question involving who in the audience looks tough and point out a baby or little kid. There would be a big pool of questions to ensure that the ride is always different. Stich would then say that the surf is up on some distant planet and say good bye to everyone and disappear in cloud of fog.

This would fix a number of the issues the current ride has. It would take out the scary part. The restraints could be removed. The darkness would be removed. It would give everyone a good laugh. Most of all it would turn it into a ride that would appeal to a wide audience and encourage people to go on it more than once.