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Wednesday, December 9, 2009

CMDTA on Vacation – Rotan Honduras

You’d think the misery that NCL inflicted on us would dissipate when we got to a port of call. You’d think wrong.

When we reached Rotan Honduras we found out that NCL has an odd way of tendering people off of the boat. You need to get a ticket. To get your ticket you have to get in line with EVERYONE who is not on an excursion bought through NCL. As you can imagine this line is huge. It spans the better part of the ship. Your ticket has a little number on it and they call people in groups.

We got our ticket and waited to be called. Finally they called us and we headed down to the tender location. However, they stop you a deck above the tender location if they feel too many people are down there. Don’t try to think about that too long or your head will explode. I know you have to ask, “Why did they call us if they were not ready?”

While waiting in the stairwell we noticed something disturbing. The NCL employee, who sounded like Checkov from the new Star Trek, had insanely long finger nails. Long finger nails on a man are just wrong. They make me want to toss my cookies. I’m not talking about a little bit of growth; I’m talking about growth that rivaled a French manicure. The worst part was I had to hand my ticket to him.

We make it to the tender. Guess what the tender was? They lowered a few of the life boats. I don’t know if you’ve ever checked one of those life boats out or not but I can tell you they are not fun. They are cramped, hot, and go about as fast as a Segway. It took about ten minutes to go less than 500 yards.

We made it off the boat and headed over to a monkey preserve. It was fun. There were monkey’s that were swinging in the trees and one would sit on your shoulder for a photo. He didn’t like sunglasses because he often plucked them off of people’s heads and threw them on the ground.

If you don’t like monkeys you could have your picture taken with a large scarlet macaw on one should and a huge green parrot on the other. The green parrot hated the nubs on the top of baseball caps. Everyone that took a picture with him had their nub plucked off and spit out. I don’t know where he learned that but it was amusing.

The ride back and fourth was uneventful. Not your typical close your eyes and hope you don’t die vacation taxi ride. Don’t worry we had one of those later.

Back at the port we found a bar because we could get booze for less than half what the boat was charging. At the bar I discovered a great drink. It’s called a “Lethal Injection.” It’s a long island that frozen, with no coke or sour mix but has Amaretto and coconut mild instead. They are dangerous.

We needed a few drinks because we knew what was coming next. We had to get back on the boat.

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