Walking to the Theme Parks

Some (all of which are deluxe resorts) resorts at Walt Disney World are so close to some of the theme parks that you can walk to the theme parks from your room.  This sounds great but is it really that good?

Below I am going to list the hotel and what it is like to walk to the theme parks from the front door of the resort.

The Contemporary:

Resorts within walking distance: The Magic Kingdom

Details: This is the best walking experience of any resort.  First of all it's the shortest distance you will find in any of the resorts on this list.  The "official" time is about ten minutes.  The actual time is really under ten.  Not only that along the way you will see the Monorail run overhead and some nice topiaries that other people don't get to see.

The Boardwalk:

Resorts within walking distance: Epcot and Disney Hollywood Studios

Details:  The walk to Epcot is almost always the shortest way to get to the park.  The walk to DHS is hit or miss.

Epcot is about a ten minute walk but along the way you get some really great views.  You can take the boat but it's almost never a good idea unless it is raining. The great thing about staying a the Boardwalk, Beach Club or Yacht Club is the fact that you can walk off some of the food you ate at the Food and Wine Festival.

DHS is walkable if the boat just left or you'll have to wait a while to catch it.  The walk is about 20 minutes and it's nothing special.


The Beach Club:

Resorts within walking distance: Epcot and Disney Hollywood Studios

Details:  You might as well list this resort with the Boardwalk  All of the times listed are within two or three minutes of that resort.  It really depends on what kind of theming you want.

The Yacht Club:

Resorts withing walking distance: Epcot and Disney Hollywood Studios

Details:  Once again it's just about the same as the Boardwalk and Beach Club.  The only difference is it's on the same side of the lagoon as the Beach Club.  The Yacht Club and Beach Club are more of a direct walk from Epcot than the Boardwalk.

The Swan and Dolphin:

Resorts within walking distance: Epcot and Disney Hollywood Studios

Details:  When it comes to the Swan and Dolphin things become more hit or miss.  The Swan and Dolphin are really in the middle zone.  Whether or not you should walk depends on where the boats are.  If you just missed them then in both cases you should walk.

The Swan and Dolphin are the closest resorts to DHS but it's still a little bit of a walk to them.  If you are healthy its about a 15 minute walk.

Photo of the Week - The Poly

There is not doubt that the Poly is one of the best if not the best themed resorts in Disney World.  While the Contemporary and others are impressive the Poly has one of the most beautiful themes in Disney World.

Photo of the Week - Walkway to the Magic Kingdom

You pay more at hotels like the Contemporary for a reason.  Other than the normal amenities you pay for location.  If you stay at the Contemporary you can walk to the Magic Kingdom via a nice walkway. This walkway passes under the Monorail which allows for some great photos.

The Resort Rivalry – Part Three: The Deluxe Resorts

This is the final group in the Resort Rivalry.

Yacht Club – “Gilligan” – The insults accuses the cast member of being a stupid incompetent buffoon like Gilligan on “Gilligan’s Island.” This one kind of backfired as Gilligan is also a much beloved, iconic TV character and the cast members at the Yacht Club have taken the name on with delight.

Beach Club – “Bum” – In the most uninspired of all the Disney nicknames, this insult was inflicted by a cast member who tried to become a member of the “Two Lap Club” which is someone who successfully drinks around the world twice, back to back, and doesn’t die. On his second loop he made it to Japan but was so intoxicated his friend, who happened to work at the Beach Club, said he should stop. The intoxicated cast member slurred out “Bum” and then fell off his stool and passed out. For some reason the name stuck.

Boardwalk – “Butt Barfer” – This one makes no sense unless you know the story. A large group of Boardwalk employees gathered together at the Flying Fish to celebrate a retiring employee. Most of them ate the fish that was on special that night. All of them got food poisoning and spent three days suffering from chronic diarrhea.

Wilderness Lodge – “Wolf Lover” – An insult completely base on the theme at the Wilderness Lodge. Wolves are often depicted in western art and décor. Its first usage is unknown. The reception at the Wilderness Lodge is mixed. Some cast members enjoy the nickname because they really are wolf lovers. Others find the insult quite annoying.

Animal Kingdom Lodge – “Lion Bait” - It’s still unknown as to how this nickname came about. Some feel that it was started by a feebleminded cast member who didn’t realize that there are no lions at the Animal Kingdom Lodge. You can see a giraffe up close but good luck if you are looking for a lion. Other people think this originated from an incident when an intoxicated cast member fell out of safari truck near the lion section of Kilimanjaro Safari’s. The only problem with that story is fact that the cast member didn’t work at the Animal Kingdom Lodge.

Contemporary – “Goat Legger” – This insult is based on the large mosaic that can be found in the atrium at the Contemporary. In that mosaic you can find a goat that has five legs. How this translated into an insult for every cast member at the Contemporary is unknown.

Grand Floridian – “Gerry” – Slang for someone who could be considered geriatric, Gerry is based on the fact that old people tend to like the Grand Floridian more than other resorts. It’s not quite clear if that’s because kids don’t like the Grand Floridian or if old people like the boring theme. Regardless of the reason the seniors love of the resort has resulted in all of the cast members having a new nickname.

Polynesian – “Poo Flinging Monkey” – In the most backwards and ridiculous of all the resort insults, an amazing display of stupidity was involved in the creation of this insult. During an argument a cast member of low intelligence called another cast member a “poo flinging monkey” because she worked at the Polynesian. There are so many things wrong with that statement it’s hard to comprehend. First Polynesia isn’t really known for its monkeys. Secondly most monkeys do not throw poo. Thirdly if a monkey did throw poo it would be due to someone being really annoying. Maybe that’s what makes this such an offensive insult; the fact that it makes no sense.

The Resort Rivalry – Part Two: The Moderate Resorts

Here is part two of the Resort Rivalry. This time we look at the Moderate Resorts. Somewhat like the middle kid the cast members at the moderate resorts are often the subjects of abuse.

Caribbean Beach – “Farter” – One that makes no sense without the story behind it. As the story goes there was a cast member at the Caribbean Beach who loved to eat beans and garlic. As you can imagine she was a very gaseous cast member. She used to jokingly say “It’s the Caribbean breeze.” That story got out and now everyone at that resort is called a “farter.”

Coronado Springs – “Rock Head” – As the story goes an employee at Coronado Springs was breaking the first rule of pool time fun - don’t run around the pool. As you’d expect she slipped and smashed her head on the ground. The other cast members who witnessed the accident were shocked at the loud smacking sound her head made as it struck concrete. When she stood up she didn’t have a mark on her. She didn’t even end up with a bruise. People started calling her “Rock Head” from that day on. In time the name came to refer to all cast members at Coronado Springs.

Fort Wilderness – “Tree Hugging Hippy” – This insult was based on a cast member who was often described as “crunchy.” When not at work she dressed and acted like a Hippy. She once stated that she loved working at Fort Wilderness because of all of the trees and animals. The cast members at Fort Wilderness started calling her a “Tree Hugging Hippy.” Little did they know that the very insult they made up would one day be used to describe all Fort Wilderness cast members.

Port Orleans Riverside – “Zombie” – The name is based on a legendary cast member who was also a party animal. He would throw raging parties that would not stop until the sun came up. He’d also frequently keep his co-workers out until the wee hours of the morning. The next day everyone would have to report to work with predictable results. Everyone would be a complete mess and act like a zombie all day. Thanks to that cast member everyone who works at Port Orleans is now referred to as a zombie.

Port Orleans French Quarter – “B.O. Brigade” – This insult came from the old joke that French people don’t wear deodorant and smell bad in the summer. This insult really stuck after a cast member forgot that he had agreed to cover a friend’s shift. He had just finished an eight mile run when his supervisor called him asking where he was. The cast member went directly into work. As you can imagine he smelled rather ripe.

Saratoga Springs – “Yorkah” – Even though there have been very few actual New Yorkers to work at Saratoga Springs the derogatory nickname “Yorkah” has been used to describe the cast members there. The word Yorkah is how the word Yorker is pronounced with a New York accent. The interesting thing is this insult was originally inflicted by someone from Massachusetts. People from Massachusetts do not like people from New York. The bitterness is so ingrained; people from NY often call people from Mass “Massholes.” It is believed that the cast member from Massachusetts originally uttered the insult solely based on the resorts theme and not in regards to any specific cast member who worked there.

In part three we’ll address the Deluxe Resorts.

The Best Restrooms in Disney World

Disney World has more restrooms than I can even count. Some of the bathrooms are scary. They are so over used the cast members just can’t keep up. I’ll let you find those. I’ve had the misfortune of using them. Disney also has some really nice restrooms that go far beyond your typical public restroom.

If you need to “go” and you want to “go” in style, where should you “go?” Meander over to the nearest deluxe resort. Most of them have great restrooms. They tend to have features that the others don’t. For instance – many of them have actual towels. Imagine that, an actual towel!

Another great thing about the public restrooms in the deluxe resorts is the fact that they tend to be slow. They don’t have a huge amount of traffic flowing through them. I don’t think I need to explain why this is a benefit.

Something that I am not sure if they still do is to pay a guy to hang out in the bathroom. I remember about ten years ago I used the restroom at the Wilderness Lodge. They had a guy in there with colognes and other toiletries. He’d had you a towel after you washed your hands too. Then you’d tip him or feel like a total tightwad. I don’t remember seeing one of these cast members in any of the restrooms on my last visit.

I always felt bad for that guy. He must have heard some awful things. I’m guess that his other senses would have been assaulted as well. Imagine having to sit in a restroom for eight hours. How does it get worse than that?

The Problem With Deluxe

The deluxe resorts are great. The Contemporary, Grand Floridian, Wilderness Lodge, Polynesian, Animal Kingdom Lodge, and Boardwalk / Yacht Club all have amazing theming and great rooms. The problem is you pay for that. A lot of people are stuck with a tough choice. Do I go less often and stay at a deluxe or do I go more often and stay at a moderate or value resort?

If you’ve never stayed in one of the deluxe resorts it’s an easy decision. Why would you spend the extra money? I have to be honest, I stayed at the Contemporary in the tower the last time I went down. It was amazing but I don’t know if I’d ever do it again. I can’t afford to. That trip was a once in a lifetime trip. I’m back in the cheaper rooms if it’s just my wife and I. Then again I could hit the big time and make oodles of money. If that happened I’d try out all of the deluxe resorts.

I know a lot of people are partial to the Polynesian but I’m a Contemporary man. I love the rooms and I love the tower. The Polynesian is beautiful and the fountain in the main building is great. All the others have a hard time matching up. If the weather is good, the Boardwalk a night is amazing and it’s really close to Epcot and DHS. I’ve never liked the Grand Floridian and all the others just seem out of the way. This leads me to my next point.

It’s hard to know which resort is really going connect with you and your family. You could spend a lot of money on one of those resorts, get there, and end up not liking it. That’s why if you are considering doing a deluxe, book a cheaper trip and take a day to check out all of the resorts. If you do that you can make an informed decision on whether you think it will be worth it or not.