Disney to Test Parents before Entering the Parks

Disney announced last week that it will start testing parents before they are allowed to enter the parks. The test will be used to determine whether the parents are smart enough to bring their kids into the parks. Any parents who fails will need to hire a Disney certified nanny for the day.

Disney stated in a press release that this new program came about because of a number of incidents including the following:

- Parents dressing their babies in multiple layers of clothes when it’s 95 out

- Parents leaving their kids in the sun while they go into a store to shop

- Parents letting their children run rampant as soon as they are in the gate

- Parents have been leaving kids in the child swaps

- Two kids were found in the lockers

- Parents using their strollers as a battering rams

- Parents have been changing their kids in the middle of Main Street

- Numerous complaints about breast feeding in the middle of crowds

- Kids have been tossed at characters in parades to get autographs

- Parents claiming their kids are handicapped to bypass lines

- Complaints about naked kids running around

- Goofy was assaulted by a pack of pre-teens with no supervision

All of the above have been tied to parents who are physically capable of having kids but are lacking in every other area. There has been a spike in stupid parents across the country and Disney has not been exempt from their impact.

Disney also announced that parents who pass the test may be required to hire a nanny if they exhibit “exceptional dysfunction” during their time in the parks.

Some people are really excited about the new program. They have lauded Disney for doing what no one else was brave enough to do.

“I always wished someone would start requiring a test before allowing people to have kids. I think this is a step in the right direction,” stated a social worker from California.

Other people have taken offense to the idea and are considering legal action.

“I’m an American! I have the right to do what I want with my kids as long as they don’t get hurt. It’s not like I give them beer to shut them up. I stopped that last year,” stated a gentleman with a neck redder than an apple.

Regardless of the feedback, the program is expected to start this fall.

Some People Are Idiots!

Some people suffer from a chronic case can cranial – rectal inversion, also known as – head up your butt syndrome. Why do I say this? I’ve come across some websites and blogs that are complaining about Disney’s newest princess Tiana.

Tiana is the star of new animated movie “The Princess and the Frog.” Why is she drawing such attention – because she’s an African American.

I couldn’t help but think “who gives a Remy’s backside” when I saw people complaining and calling the whole thing racist. I think those same people are the ones who have been complaining for years that Disney only had white princesses.

To be honest I thought people would complain more a bout princess Jasmine. She’s Arabic and runs around half naked. That’s normally enough to get Al-Qaida foaming at the mouth.

Why didn’t people complain when Disney released the new Tinker Bell movie? Is it ok to have an African American fairy but not an African American princess?

Can you imagine what people could accomplish if they focused their time and effort on reducing pollution, trying to find a cure for cancer, or save the whales instead of whining about a cartoon?

From what I can tell Tiana is done tastefully. We’re not talking about another Uncle Remus here. Can’t we just stop and remember we’re talking about a cartoon and Disney is trying to be a little more diverse? Keep in mind that Disney changed her name already because people thought the first name was too cliché. I normally don’t defend Disney but in this case I think it’s warranted.