Disney announced this week that they will start charging a surcharge for people they deem to be "husky." In an effort to increase profits.
"The airlines have been charging people for anything and everything for years and they have gotten away with it. They starting charging for bags claiming they needed cut down on weight because of fuel prices. We'll it takes more energy to move fat people around between the rides and monorails so we are going to charge a surcharge," stated head of Profit Development Department, Scrooge McDuck.
The new surcharges will applied to anyone who does not match the governments "ideal" height weight ratio which means 99.5% of all Americans will be subject to the new charges. The surcharge will be applied by the pound. The fee is expected to be $1.00 per pound an individual is over the ideal weight.
"You can expect huge revenue increases from this program. We've been raising ticket prices every year and every year the guests keep coming back. Our parks are like crack! Once we have you hooked you'll pay anything to get in. Until people show us by staying home we are going to keep raising prices!" explained head of Guest Abuse Ursala.
The new fat surcharge is expected to start yesterday and stay in effect until the cows come home.
Showing posts with label scrooge mcduck. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scrooge mcduck. Show all posts
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Disney Announces New "Gold Rooms" At the Grand Floridian
In a move that shocked no one Disney announced last week that they will be overhauling some of their rooms at the Grand Floridian to a new gold theme.
The some of the existing rooms will be completely stripped and and replaced with solid 24k gold.
"We're not talking about gold fixtures or any low end stuff like that. We are talking about everything in the room being made out of 24k gold. From the beds to the toilet it's going to be gold!"explained the imagineer heading up the over haul, Scrooge McDuck.
The new rooms are expected to have rack rates starting at $152,000 a night.
"The expected rates are actually a great value when you consider the rooms have a monetary value of 52 million a piece," explained originator of the idea Dopey Dwarf.
Some have criticized the plan bringing light to the fact that gold beds would be very uncomfortable and that such rooms would only be accessible to the super rich. In response Scrooge McDuck explained "So what? We only care about the super rich. The other people don't pay the bills and raise the value of our stock. Just one of these valued guests is worth three to four hundred of our standard guests."
The new rooms are expected to be open for booking by the end of June for stays starting in November.
The some of the existing rooms will be completely stripped and and replaced with solid 24k gold.
"We're not talking about gold fixtures or any low end stuff like that. We are talking about everything in the room being made out of 24k gold. From the beds to the toilet it's going to be gold!"explained the imagineer heading up the over haul, Scrooge McDuck.
The new rooms are expected to have rack rates starting at $152,000 a night.
"The expected rates are actually a great value when you consider the rooms have a monetary value of 52 million a piece," explained originator of the idea Dopey Dwarf.
Some have criticized the plan bringing light to the fact that gold beds would be very uncomfortable and that such rooms would only be accessible to the super rich. In response Scrooge McDuck explained "So what? We only care about the super rich. The other people don't pay the bills and raise the value of our stock. Just one of these valued guests is worth three to four hundred of our standard guests."
The new rooms are expected to be open for booking by the end of June for stays starting in November.
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