Disney Taps Wasted Energy Source

Disney World will begin tapping into a renewable energy source beginning next year.

“This energy source has always been there we’ve just been wasting it,” stated a magical dingo named Dom who works in logistics.

The plan is simple. Disney will install low powered vacuums in all bathroom stalls to capture “methane.” The methane will be used to as fuel for giant generators which will produce enough power to run the Monorail system.

The project falls under what is described as “Super Green” energy. That is when something that is harming the environment is not just removed from the environment but converted into energy.

There is also a plan in place to incorporate beans and other gas producing foods into every food product in Disney World. One of the ideas being kicked around is replacing all ice cream with soy ice cream which causes massive gas in some people. This goes in line with the plan to no longer sell Beno, GasX, or any other similar digestive aide in Disney World.

“Our guests will now have a more enjoyable visit to the restrooms. The unpleasant smells are expected to be completely eliminated. Unfortunately we can’t do much about the sounds and we can’t prevent people who are trying to eat around the world from trying to induce a protein spill,” Dom the Magical Dingo stated.

The plan is expected to save millions over the next few years.

Hold It In – We All Win!

Disney announced their latest “green” promotion this week. In an effort to reduce water use, all guests are encouraged to go to the bathroom less. For every hour between 5pm and 7am that your room’s toilet does not flush you will receive one dollar towards your bill.

In addition Disney is shutting down random restrooms across the property. On the closed restrooms doors is Disney’s new “green” slogan “Hold It In – We All Win!”

Disney is also placing signs on all of the other restrooms that inform guests: “If it’s yellow, let it mellow, if it’s brown flush it down.”

Disney expects that the new program will save an estimated one million gallons of water a day and also save roughly 100,000 dollars a day in expenses.

However not everyone is on board with the new program. Many have already expressed criticism of the plan.

“I’m terribly offended by those signs. I think they are offensive and crude,” stated Minnie Mouse in an interview after the announcement was made.

She continued “What if you can’t hold it? Are you supposed to jump in the bushes? I think this idea could really backfire!”

Grumpy Dwarf stated “It stinks!” when asked to comment on the new program.

Grumpy may have a point. Disney World could become very smelly while the program is in place. Is that worth the estimated 100,000 dollar a day savings? Only time will tell. For now it might be a good idea to bring a nose plug or gas mask with you on your next trip to the World.