Renewing Your Passport Just Got a Tiny Bit Easier

Renewing your passport is right up there with going to the dentist, getting an annual exam, and buying a car.  It's just an awful process that no one wants to do.

First you have to fill out your paperwork and hope the governments instructions are less convoluted than usual.  After spending a ridiculous amount of time attempting to translate a bunch of forms that were designed by someone with anger issues you are a third of the way through the process.

Another part people dread is having to get a passport photo that meets the governments requirements. This normally requires going to one of the many places that do it, deal with someone who is barely earning more than minimum wage and is has about five seconds of training, and then hoping your photo is accepted by the government.

Next you have to mail your application in with your old passport.  Unless your trust the postal service with your life you make sure to pay through the nose and send your application through certified mail. If you send it normal snail mail you are a braver individual than I am...or mentally ill.

That process would be bad enough if you only had to pay for the shipping but you have to pay over $100 on top of this. That's enough to make a nun curse like a trucker.

Is there anything that makes this process easier?

I was determined to find something so I started looking around. I found a website that said they would help you take your own photo and then if you paid the $8 for the photo from them they would certify the photo and guarantee the government would not reject it.

I know $8 is a few dollars more than most places but if I could do it from home and have it be guaranteed why not try it?

I went through their process which was fairly easy. In the end I got to choose between having them mail me the photo (if I paid shipping) or they'd send it to a number of local photo processing places.  I decided to have it sent to Walmart.

I went to pick it up.  It was ready when they said it would be ready and it was under my name.  I thought there were going to be no problems.  The only problem was the Walmart employee who decided to let me know they looked at my photo and  it was all wrong.  They said it was too dark, there was a shadow on it and it wasn't the right size.  I explained that the photo was guaranteed.  She gave me more lip. At this point I really wanted to ask her why I should I trust her over the website.  After all she looked like she'd been run over by life and then flushed down the toilet.  I bit my lip though  so I further explained that I run a travel blog and wanted to share my experience with everyone.  That shut her up.

I mailed everything in a sure enough six weeks later I have my new passport.

If you want to try this service just click here.

It's not a bad service and it makes the process a little less painful.

The Burping Troll of Walmart

Anyone who wants to read something Disney related might want to skip this post. In past posts I’ve mentioned the “Burping Troll of Walmart.” Some people might be wondering what on Earth I’m talking about. Well I’ll explain. The following story is not a joke, it’s not exaggerated, it is unfortunately a true story.

The Burping Troll of Walmart is an employee at the Portsmouth, NH Walmart located on Lafayette Road. It (I’m not saying if it’s a man or woman to protect the guilty) normally works the express checkout lane.

One day I was shopping at Walmart and only had a few items, so as most people would, I used the express checkout lane. It was my turn to check out. I looked at the “associate” and was taken aback. I don’t even know how to begin to describe what I saw. It looked like the lady from who played Momma Fratelli in the Goonies if she had abused heroin her entire life. She could have also passed as some unnatural cross between a human and a shaved bulldog. The only time I’ve really seen anything like it is in the movies or a video game. The naughty part of my brain wanted to take a picture because on one would every believe me.

Now you know why it is a “troll.” But why is she a burping troll? Let me continue with my story. After I got over the visual shock, I greeted the troll and got no response. I figured she was just having a bad day. After all if I looked like her I think I’d be having a bad day every day. As she was scanning my stuff it burped. Now I’m not talking about a small muffled burp. I’m talking about a wet, nasty, very audible, belch. It was the kind of burp that could have been followed by mouth wiping. I was shocked. I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t know if I should asked if she was ok or stay quite. I figured I should stay quite because it may have slipped and I didn’t want to make an awkward situation even worse.

The Troll finished scanning my items and I swiped my card. It asked me something. I can’t remember what it was because she had barely finished speaking when a second, equally disturbing burp, bellowed out of its mouth. Forget about not reacting. The guy behind me in line burst out laughing. I tired not to breathe because it sounded like it was a stinker. I grabbed my bags and got out of there as fast as I could.

I see the troll from time to time. Whenever I do I get into another line. I don’t care if I only have two items and the only other option is getting in line behind the mother ten with three hundred dollars in groceries, I’m getting in that line.

You might not believe me. You might figure that there is no way this could be a true story. If that’s so then I challenge you. Go to the Walmart in Portsmouth, NH and go to the express lanes on the grocery side of the store. You’ll know it when you see it.