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Saturday, December 16, 2017

Why I Didn't Like The Last Jedi

I know a lot of people loved The Last Jedi.  I am not one of them.  Let me explain why before you rip me apart.

WARNING - SPOILERS!!!!

1 - The Fin story is hot garbage.

Fin is a great character. Rose is a great character.  Put together they are even better.  So what should you do with two great characters?  Send them off on a stupid plot point, so you can harvest some stuff off if later.

I sat there watching this and wondered - Wait...you can get Finn and company off of the ship, unnoticed, but you couldn't have them save a few people in process?  Also, sending them off to find some code breaker, is just dumb.  A much better idea, would have been to have Rose accomplish the same thing with her engineer skills.  If this was Star Trek - Scotty, Jordi, or another team of engineering would have found a way.

2 - Leia needed to die. 

Instead of having an epic send off for a beloved character,  you killed the newbie.  Why?  Why even introduce Laura Dern's character?  Killing her off makes the whole comma thing seems like a total waste.

3 - Why kill Snoke?

This made no sense to me.  He wasn't in the two movies for a more than a combined ten minutes.  What a complete waste of a character.  He was a mystery until he showed up in this one.  He showed up just in time to kill him off. 

4 - People tend to get wiser with age - Unless you are Luke Skywalker.

Luke is now in his sixties and he's beyond dumb.  I know some people love how he showed weakness.  You can do that without being a total Muppet.  The other Jedi we know and love gained some measure of wisdom with age.  Luke did not.  He was as bad as a whiny teenager, crying in his room.

5 - They wasted Yoda. 

Yoda needed to come a lot sooner, instead he comes in, and lacked the impact of old Yoda.

6 - Umm... Space doesn't work like that.

Two things - 1 - Leia would have exploded.  Her eyes would have burst, her ear drums popped, and a lot of other awful things, never mind frozen solid.

Second - "We need fuel to stay ahead out of range of bad guys."  On Earth - yes, in space - no.  There is no friction in space.  If ever keeps their rockets going, you keep gaining speed.  The physics of this plot point is mind numbing.

7 - Why did we need to have a video call with someone in a gun fight, who didn't need to be in the movie?

Enough said.

8 - Rey's parents were wasted.

This could have been huge.  Instead the mystery was tossed out like rotten food.

9 - You killed a legend with hardly a mention.

RIP Admiral Akbar.  You deserved better.

10 - Phasma - the new Darth Maul

For years after killing him off in the Episode 1, the powers to be regretted killing off Darth Maul.  I think (if she really is dead) we are going to miss Phasma.  We hardly knew her.

Now you might think I hated the entire movie.  I did not.  It had some awesome scenes.  You should see it for the following.  Most of these are  purposefully vague.

1 - BB8 kicks butt, kicks some more butt, and then blows away a whole bunch of Storm Troopers.

2 - Who needs to pick up a broom?  If you see it,  you'll know what I am talking about.

3 - Warp speed Mrs. lady with the purple hair.

4 - We don't know if it tasted like chicken.


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