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Saturday, July 9, 2011

Disney to Add Surcharge for "Husky" People

Disney announced this week that they will start charging a surcharge for people they deem to be "husky." In an effort to increase profits. 

"The airlines have been charging people for anything and everything for years and they have gotten away with it.  They starting charging for bags claiming they needed cut down on weight because of fuel prices.  We'll it takes more energy to move fat people around between the rides and monorails so we are going to charge a surcharge," stated head of Profit Development Department, Scrooge McDuck.

The new surcharges will applied to anyone who does not match the governments "ideal" height weight ratio which means 99.5% of all Americans will be subject to the new charges.  The surcharge will be applied by the pound.  The fee is expected to be $1.00 per pound an individual is over the ideal weight.

"You can expect huge revenue increases from this program.  We've been raising ticket prices every year and every year the guests keep coming back.  Our parks are like crack!  Once we have you hooked you'll pay anything to get in.  Until people show us by staying home we are going to keep raising prices!" explained head of Guest Abuse Ursala.

The new fat surcharge is expected to start yesterday and stay in effect until the cows come home.

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