Disney currently offers childcare for parents who want to go out to dinner or enjoy some other distraction without having their rug rats hanging all over them. The childcare is rather expensive but its an in depth program full of activities. However, due to complaints about the price Disney has developed a new program for cheap parents.
“The first thing we had to do was lower the overhead. Our current program included snacks, movies, and multiple cast members. We had to reduce that to get the price lower,” stated Brer Fox, the head of child services in WDW.
To reduce the overhead the new program will have only one employee per 100 kids. In a typical childcare setting that would be considered a gross understaffing. It’s impossible for one employee to keep track of 100 kids in a typical setting. To further reduce overhead all snacks and entertainment have also been drastically cut.
How can you keep kids happy with next to no food and little entertainment? The answer may surprise you. Everything comes down to environment.
“We are recreating the jail scene in Pirates. Each child will be put in a jail cell which is themed to an old Spanish fort. The will be give one cup of gruel for a snack. Entertainment will be an Old English Sheepdog who has been trained to pace around with a ring of keys in his mouth. They kids will be told they need to try and entice the dog, just like in the movies and the ride,” explained Brer Fox.
The environment is expected distract the kids for hours. Any children who complain or try to escape will be gagged, chained, and called a naughty buccaneer.
The existing program will still exist for children who care about their children. The new program is projected to cost half as much as the traditional childcare program but the price may be adjusted based to popularity and season.