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Friday, February 6, 2009

I Don’t Even Like Hats…

One thing stuck me when I got home after my last Disney World trip. I bought a hat that I’ll most likely never wear. I don’t wear hats very often so why did I buy a hat? Come to think of, when did I go to Disney World and not buy a hat or come away with a hat? Most of the hats have been so embarrassing I’d never, ever, wear them out in public. Think I’m joking? Check this list of foolish and embarrassing hats I got at Disney World. This list goes from the least embarrassing to the most embarrassing hat.

Mickey Mouse Fishing Hat – Well first of all I don’t fish so I have no idea why I bout this hat and wore it around Disney. At least it wasn’t as bad as some of my others. It was just a tan fishing had with a small Mickey Mouse on the front of it.

You Better Take the Stairs: Tower of Terror Hat – This was my most recent purchase. I will admit it’s a “cute” hat. It’s black with white letters and three cartoon slides with Goofy and Mickey on them. Problem number one - a guy shouldn’t really be wearing a hat that could be described as cute. Problem number two – you probably don’t want to get attention from the people who would comment on this hat outside of Disney World.

The Goofy Hat – I was a kid when I got this and I loved it. It was a baseball hat with Goofy’s face on it. It had big Goofy ears that hung down to your shoulders and even had two big teeth the hung off of the end of the visor. Now that I’ve explained what it looks like you know why an adult wouldn’t be caught dead wearing it.

The Figment Hat – When I was a kid Figment was my favorite park character. That being so, I just had to buy the figment hat when I saw it. This thing was just awful. It was purple, orange, and yellow. If that’s not reason enough not to wear it, it also had two orange figment horns protruding from it.

Only a select few ever wore this final hat. This was given away for obvious reasons. It took a brave sole to wear it. Before I start describing this hat, go back to the “HOLY POO FLINGING MONKEYS! It’s Darkwing Duck!” post to see a picture of this hat. For anyone who wore that hat a shiver instantly went down their spine when they saw that photo. It was the one, the only, Fifteen Years of Magic “I’m a Winner” hat! It was a blue sun visor. That’s no so bad is it? Well take that blue sun visor and print “I’m a Winner” on the front of it. Sounds bad right? Well wait just one minute! Put battery operated, flashing, yellow and red lights across the border! Ah, now there is a master piece that all the famous artists of history could never have equaled. You may ask, “How on Earth did you find yourself in possession that thing?” During Disney World’s “Fifteen Years of Magic” promotion, every fifteenth person through the park gates won something. My dad won something but I can’t remember what it was. The very next day I won the hat. Let me tell you I was thrilled. For a kid to get a hat that lights up…well you just can’t beat that.

There had been other strange purchases at Disney World through out the years: pocket watches, figment plush toys, a Skippy plush toy, and a “Hundred Acre Wood” Henley. Even when I think of those odd purchases the hats still stand out. I’m starting to think that now I have to buy a hat every time just keep up appearances. But, how could I possibly improve on that list? I think I set the bar too high.

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