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Monday, January 5, 2009

YEEEAAA!! Oh wait….it’s a parade…

I don’t like parades. I’ve never really liked them. My wife outright hates them. As many of you know the parade is different for each park with Epcot having by far the best parade in my opinion. The next most tolerable parade is the nighttime parade in the Magic Kingdom followed by the day time parade in the Magic Kingdom. Next to last is the parade at Animal Kingdom. Dead last by miles is the abomination known as the “Block Party” at DHS.

Why do I hate parades? Here are a few reasons:

· It’s wall to wall people.

· Even on a cold day in FL is seems about 50 degrees warmer on the parade route.

· If you do not want to watch the parade it’s always going to be between what you want to do and where you are.

· People start staking out their spot about two hours early and defend it with their life.

· They are louder than a 747 taking off.

· There might be one or two interesting things in the parade but you have to suffer through the rest of the parade to see it.

· An alarming number of people do not know what deodorant is.

· The kid next to me will have eaten an entire box of popcorn, suffer heat stroke, and barf it up on my shoes.

As I said before some are worse that others. I find the one at DHS beyond annoying. I got stuck watching that on my last vacation because it was between me and Indiana Jones. I tried to find a way around but there were just too many people in every direction. I already have some hearing loss in my right ear. I never thought I’d be thankful for that until I was stuck watching that parade. I think I’ve managed to block most of it from my permanent memory but I remember people jumping on trampolines, a lot of toy story stuff, and enough noise to liquefy your internal organs. The thought actually entered my head that water boarding might have been more enjoyable.

I know there are a lot of people who enjoy the parade. I know as a kid I liked them. That leads me to believe people who enjoy parades enjoy them because it’s nostalgic for them. I can understand that. I believe that’s one of the reasons why many people go back to Disney year after year. I bet if I had kids I’d understand it more. If you enjoyed them as a child you’d want your child to experience the same thing.

I don’t know why I don’t get nostalgic over parades. I do with almost everything else in Disney. Maybe I just haven’t seen a good parade in a long time. I remember the “15 Years” parade and could still sing parts of the song the song. Could it be that the new parades are just not up to snuff?

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