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Thursday, February 5, 2009

It Got a Flat Tire so We Bought a New Car.

Through the years there has been a lot of protests over rides that Disney has decided to remove / close / replace. In each case the hard feelings normally boiled down to the fact that people felt like a piece of their childhood or young adulthood was been erased. When you look beyond that there are some rides that really make you wonder why they were shelved while others remained. In many cases these rides were either unique, ground breaking, or victims of circumstance. Here are the ones that I want to see again:


ExtraTERROResital Alien Encounter: This ride was intense. It was the most Un-Disney ride Disney ever built. It has as many rabid fans as it does sworn enemies. The problem with this ride was it was opened in the Magic Kingdom with only a height requirement. Too many young children were allowed on this attraction. When you think about it this attraction was a PG-13 borderline R attraction. I say that because you got sprayed with water to simulate someone getting torn apart above you and it was beyond frightening for children. If Disney had opened this in DHS with an age requirement or actual rating I think it would still be around today. Too many dumb parents ignored the warning at the entrance and dragged their kids on this ride.


Horizons: I was fascinated by this ride as a child. It’s the first ride I can remember that had an interactive ending. I rode it over and over so I could see all of the endings. I’ve ridden Mission Space (Horizons replacement) once. It was good but I don’t think I’d ride it more than once a visit. I consider myself fortunate that I rode this ride just before it closed. There are a lot of rumors as to why Horizons bit the dust. Some say that the building had a sinkhole developing under it. Some said it would have been too expensive to overhaul. Others say that Disney couldn’t find a sponsor for it. I tend to believe the last one. Disney always puts money ahead of its guests, they just mask it well.


Mr. Toads Wild Ride: Ok this isn’t on the level of others but I have two reasons why it should have stayed. It was the only ride ever in which you died and went to hell. That makes it beyond unique. Here is my other reason. You replaced it with crap. I’m sorry but at its best the Pooh ride breaks even with Mr. Toad. If you’re going to replace a classic it better be an improvement.

The World of Motion: The song was great, the scenes were funny, and it was a classic Disney experience. Granted the World of Motion was getting old but that’s not an excuse. There are a lot of rides that are far older that are still around. According to many, GM is responsible for the death of this ride. It was time to re-sign and they wanted something new and flashy. Because they had the money, Disney was more than happy to jump on that band wagon. What we got as a replacement isthe most over hyped, over rated, attraction in Disney history.

The original Pirates: I like the new Pirates. I think they were some great additions that improved the ride. What runined those improvements is the fact that Disney knocked the teeth out of Pirates. They made it so PC that it’s just not funny anymore. Face it. It’s only a matter of time before the fat lady in the “take home a wench” scene is replaced and the sign is changed to say "Marry a Maid". Everything else that was funny was removed to avoid offending anyone. Like the fat lady chasing the pirate. That was classic!

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