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Thursday, March 31, 2011

Movies You Didn't See: The Sorcerer's Apprentice

As most of you know the Sorcerer's Apprentice failed at the box office.  Most of you know this because you did not see the movie.  Did you miss anything?

No.

There is a reason no one bothered to see the Sorcerer's Apprentice.  Because it was a bad movie.  I don't know who Disney's has been hiring to either write their scripts (or edit them) but they need to clean house.

The major issues with this movie start right off the bat.  The first ten minutes are so far fetched that most people can not make a connection to the movie.  The first ten minutes are heavy duty fantasy and they don't work.

Oddly enough the next twenty minutes are very good.  Once you hit modern days there is a short stretch that is enjoyable.  The problem is they don't carry the momentum this section of the movie provides. It hits a high note when the main character and his romantic interest are in his lab for the first time. After this the movie becomes stale, stupid, and at times outright boring.

Sadly the movie keeps stinking right through the end.

This isn't the only movie that Disney released recently the seriously bombed.  Next time we'll look and see why The Prince of Persia was a horrid mess of a movie.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Walt Disney and Salvador Dali: Oddest Couple Ever?

If you've never heard of Destino don't be surprised not many people have.  Destino was a film short that was created by Walt Disney and Salvador Dali.  No I didn't make that up they actually did a project together.

I'd never heard of this combo from the Twilight Zone until I saw a brochure advertising a showing.  At first I did what everyone else does when they heard about the clean cut Walt and the...demented Salvador working together. I reacted in disbelief.  Then I realized I had to check this thing out.

After watching Destino I was even more confused.  It's an animated feature but it's possibly the most twisted Disney related film I have ever seen.  This short is full of bizarre animations and stylized artwork.  That should really be no surprise if you know anything about Dali but I thought Disney would counter him a little. 

The other odd thing is the history of Destino.  I think it might just hold the record for production time.  58 years.  I'm not kidding from beginning to end it took Destino 58 years to be released.  It was started in 1945 but because of financial woes it was shelved because it was considered not financially viable.

How did it find the light of day again?  To make a long story short - Roy E. Disney found it and kick started it. Thanks to him it was released in 2003.

If you want to see Destino I'm sure you could find clips of it online somewhere but I have to warn you.  Do not have any young children around when you see it.  In one of the scenes someones face melts off.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Photo of the Week - Funny Sign In Norway


I challenge you! Read this sign without laughing! There are so many things about this sign are ironic.  Such terms as fast-paced, journey, and of course modern are so inaccurate they are astonishing.

And don't forget! Supervise children at all times! Otherwise they might fall asleep.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Disney's First Online ADR System

Less than two years ago Disney finally joined the 21st century and allowed people to book Advanced Dining Reservations online.  Many people were excited about this and said "They finally started doing this!"

The funny thing about that is this isn't the first time Disney has offered an online ADR system.  When I heard about the "new" online system I thought "It's about time they brought it back."

True Disney never allowed you to book reservations over the internet before this but they did do online ADRs.

At times Disney creates something so advanced they don't realize what they've done.  They might create something and think it's something people might use for a few minutes or they might do something just to show it can be done.  That's the true story behind the original ADR system.  I doubt Disney knew what they had created or that they would be bringing it back on a huge scale nearly two decades later.

Yes I said two decades.  To find the original ADR system you need to go back days of CommuniCore.  If you don't know what CommuniCore is it's what existed before Innovations (82-94).  Back in the day when tube socks, sweat bands, and leg warmers were in vogue Disney created one of the first online reservation systems for the general public.  This is amazing considering the the internet didn't exist yet (if it did less than 0.1% of Americans had access to it).  This is amazing considering MSDOS was the major operating system and most Americans had no idea what a computer network was.  In fact most Americans didn't even own a PC yet.

The system wasn't all that advanced.  Basically it let you make reservations at one of the World Showcase dining locations with a computer.  Of course being in a deek (Disney Geek) family we had to use it.  Back then it you didn't really need to make reservations unless you were going to the Hoop Dee Doo but we still wanted to try it.

Hind sight is 20/20.  If I had know what that system would one day become I would have had my parents take a picture of my sister making us a reservation in Morocco.  Sadly though I don't have a picture of this system.  However, Google is your best friend.  If anyone can find a picture of it, let me know.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Lumberjacks Protest New Le Cellier Dinner Menu

A group of smelly Lumberjacks recently showed up in Epcot to protest Le Cellier's new dinner menu. 

"We feel this new menu doesn't represent a classic Canadian Steakhouse.  Know what I mean, ehh?" stated one of the protesters.

As many know Le Cellier recently overhauled their dinner menu after raising the cost of dinner to two Disney Dining Plan credits and labeling the restaurant as a Signature Dining location.

The new menu which can be seen here, was overhauled to better reflect an upscale dining experience.  In the process some new menu items were added, some taken away, and the price adjusted on others.

"When I look at this new menu I see a lot of tree hugging hippy crap and not a lot of the good old soul food that we hard working individuals love to eat while watching hockey," explained a lumberjack with a massive mullet.

The lumberjacks were really drawing a crowd in the Canada Pavilion.  Between the flannel shirts, work boots, and hillbilly waterfalls many people have been showing up to take photos.

"It's great!  Some of them even brought their hockey sticks in case it got cold enough for the world showcase lagoon to freeze over.  I get the feeling none of them have ever been to Florida before," said one of the many Epcot visitors gathered to watch the protesters.

It's not known if anything will come of the protests but for now the Canada Pavilion will have some extra entertainment for everyone to enjoy.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Photo of the Week: Mini and Mickey

It's that time of year again so here is another photo from a past Flower and Garden Festival.   They normally do a great job on the Festival but sadly reports have been surfacing that suggest that Disney really mailed it in this year.  It seems like that's been the trend lately.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Disney Announces First Ever Bad Bus Driver Challenge

In an effort to gloss over the problem, Disney has announced that it will be holding it's first ever "Bad Bus Driver Challenge."

The challenge will pit all Disney Bus Drivers against each other.  Each driver will be judged and given points based on dozens of different criteria including - ability to induce nausea, gas peddle pumping, aggressive driving, speeding, grumpiness, sudden and unexplained breaking, and collisions. 

The drivers will will lose points if they are courteous, a defensive driver, properly dressed, refrain from offensive speech, and interact in a positive way with the guests.

"It's a real mixed bag.  We have dozens and dozens of drivers who could really run the score up.  The driver who wins will really have proven something.  It's hard to standout as being the worst when the bar is set so low," explained a Disney bus driver trainer, one of the Three Blind Mice.

Some bus drivers are complaining about the challenge and said it makes the ones who care and take their job seriously look bad.

Others are elated about the challenge. "I just can't believe it.  After all of those years of scaring and making people sick with my driving I finally feel like someone is taking notice!  For the first time in my career I'm actually happy about going to work.  I don't even need to drink on the job to cope anymore," stated one of the most notorious drivers.

The winner of the challenge will receive a plaque with their name on it, a new shiny crash helmet, and a pack of Juicy Fruit.

At the end of the day it might be best to stay off the roads in WDW until the challenge is over.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Photo of the Week - Old School Castle

This photo is straight out of the 80's.  You'll notice that the colors have changed a little over time but other than that it's the same old castle.  You might also notice that this angle is an angle you've seen over and over again.  Even back in the 80's Disney had their Kodak photo spots.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Renewing Your Passport Just Got a Tiny Bit Easier

Renewing your passport is right up there with going to the dentist, getting an annual exam, and buying a car.  It's just an awful process that no one wants to do.

First you have to fill out your paperwork and hope the governments instructions are less convoluted than usual.  After spending a ridiculous amount of time attempting to translate a bunch of forms that were designed by someone with anger issues you are a third of the way through the process.

Another part people dread is having to get a passport photo that meets the governments requirements. This normally requires going to one of the many places that do it, deal with someone who is barely earning more than minimum wage and is has about five seconds of training, and then hoping your photo is accepted by the government.

Next you have to mail your application in with your old passport.  Unless your trust the postal service with your life you make sure to pay through the nose and send your application through certified mail. If you send it normal snail mail you are a braver individual than I am...or mentally ill.

That process would be bad enough if you only had to pay for the shipping but you have to pay over $100 on top of this. That's enough to make a nun curse like a trucker.

Is there anything that makes this process easier?

I was determined to find something so I started looking around. I found a website that said they would help you take your own photo and then if you paid the $8 for the photo from them they would certify the photo and guarantee the government would not reject it.

I know $8 is a few dollars more than most places but if I could do it from home and have it be guaranteed why not try it?

I went through their process which was fairly easy. In the end I got to choose between having them mail me the photo (if I paid shipping) or they'd send it to a number of local photo processing places.  I decided to have it sent to Walmart.

I went to pick it up.  It was ready when they said it would be ready and it was under my name.  I thought there were going to be no problems.  The only problem was the Walmart employee who decided to let me know they looked at my photo and  it was all wrong.  They said it was too dark, there was a shadow on it and it wasn't the right size.  I explained that the photo was guaranteed.  She gave me more lip. At this point I really wanted to ask her why I should I trust her over the website.  After all she looked like she'd been run over by life and then flushed down the toilet.  I bit my lip though  so I further explained that I run a travel blog and wanted to share my experience with everyone.  That shut her up.

I mailed everything in a sure enough six weeks later I have my new passport.

If you want to try this service just click here.

It's not a bad service and it makes the process a little less painful.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Mickey Arrested After Shocking Find in Demolished House

Fan favorite Mickey Mouse was arrested and charged with counterfeiting after a shocking discovery in the basement of his recently demolished home.

Authorities were called to Mickey's demolished home in the former Toontown Fair area of the Magic Kingdom in Walt Disney World around noon yesterday. A trap had been discovered in the ruins which led workers to a vault containing hundreds of counterfeit mouse ears.

"We knew something odd was going on when Mickey kept trying to scale the fence to get to his house in the former Toontown Fair," stated head of security Grumpy Dwarf.

The street value of the ears is estimated to be around 45,000 when compared to the ears Disney sells in their stores.

"I never thought knew there was so much money in ears.  I've always stuck to smuggled gems but now I'm thinking twice," stated Doc Dwarf.  

Authorities would not comment on how long they feel Mickey had been bootlegging the ears but did say all the facts would be brought to light when the trial starts.

If convicted on all charges Mickey could be facing a prison term of 5 to 10 years.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Why Can’t You Swim in the Lakes?

Most people who visit Disney World spend their time in the parks, shopping, dining, or a number of other activities.  However you won’t find anyone swimming in the lakes.   In fact you will actually find signs that tell you to stay out of the water. 

Why can’t you swim in the lakes?

There is no one reason; there is actually a lot of reasons.

First of all, the lakes in Disney World see a lot of boat traffic.  Disney does what they can to keep the water clean but pollution still happens.  Between fuel, oil, and other stuff the water isn’t as clean as you’d like.  Another issue on that level is how the lakes are fed.  There are two major types of lakes – spring fed and runoff fed.  Spring fed lakes are some of the cleanest lakes in the world. Runoff lakes are not the cleanest.  Runoff lakes pick up everything on the way and dump it in one place.

Next you have wild life. All the birds relieving themselves in the water are actually the least of your worries in this category.  The two you need to look out for are alligators and copperheads (also known as water moccasins).  Alligators normally only bother you if you bother them or stumble onto them.  As you know a bite from an alligator is not fun.  It normally isn’t fatal but if they nick an artery you’re in trouble.  Copperheads are in many ways the worse of the two.  They are a poisonous snake found in many parts of the U.S. Normally their bite won’t kill a grown up.  However for seniors, children, and those in frail health that snake bite can easily prove fatal.

The final issue is only a major worry in the summer.  In stagnant lakes with lots of leaf litter on the bottom a certain amoeba can flourish.  During the colder months it’s rather inactive.  During the summer it activates.  This amoeba isn’t a problem unless you accidentally get water up your nose.  Every year there are a few cases where this happens and someone ends up fighting for their life in the hospital.  This amoeba gets up your nose and starts to flourish.  Its food is what is in your head if you catch my drift.  Yes it eats your brain and can kill you.

So now you know why to stay out of the water in Disney World.