Late last week an
The vampire who wants to remain anonymous stated that he was prevented from entering the
“I wear a mask and cover my body from head to toe because of an allergy to sunlight that most vampires have,” stated the vampire. He went on to explain that exposure to sunlight can cause severe pain and even death.
Security turned him away for security reasons according to head of park security Doc Dwarf. “We can’t let people go walking around in the parks dressed like that unless they at least let us check them out. The vampire was unwilling to remove his mask to let us do our jobs.”
There was also some concern about bulges in the vampires outfit. “Those were blood packs. It was my lunch. It’s not like I can survive on turkey legs like everyone else,” stated the vampire when asked about the odd bulges.
The vampire is asking for 5 million in damages which he said are due to the utter embarrassment he was subjected to and the shocking lack of compassion the security officers displayed.
“I’m not doing this for the money. I’m doing this for vampires everywhere!” the vampire stated in his press release.
When asked why he couldn’t just go to the parks after dark like all the other vampires, wannabe vampires, and silly Goth kids, he responded with “no comment.”
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