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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Bob Iger’s Bonus….Your alcohol purchases at work…or maybe not.

Disney World! Home of the $10 margarita! I wish I was making that up. A millionaire would balk at what Disney charges for a drink. At first I thought Disney was making big bucks on booze. After all, the profit margin on a $10 margarita has to be ridiculous. I can make a margarita at home for about $1.25. $2.00 if I use good booze. However, I don’t buy in bulk. My guess is Disney is paying $1.00 tops. That’s a $9 profit.

My guess is that Disney is trying to make a large profit while control consumption. Why else would price a drink at that level? Yes you’re a captive audience but think of the other places where you are a captive audience. How about Jetblue? They charge $3 for that margarita and there is no better example of being a captive audience. That leads be to believe that Disney doesn’t want a bunch of drunk people in their park. Guess what…you failed! If someone wants to get drunk you’re not going to stop them! What you are doing is limiting your overall profit. The people who want to get hammered are in the minority (I hope). A drink with a $10 price point only prevents the average Joe from getting drink number two. There are a lot more Joe’s than drunks in the park (again - I hope).

There are ways around buying booze from Disney. Here they are:

1. Bring a flask – You can get a good old fashion pocket flask for next to nothing online. Pick your own poison. The odds of Disney security finding it are nil. Just drink it fast there are cameras everywhere. Or wait until lunch and pour your rum in your coke. The other option is to drink it in the bathroom where there are no cameras stall but that’s just gross

2. Slip some nips in. How is this different from sneaking a flask into the park? The point of smuggling in nips is not to drink them straight. It’s to enhance the pathetically weak Disney drink and turn it into a drink actually work $10.

3. Start the mission impossible theme music please... Go to a resort with a concierge. The best one for this is the Contemporary. 1 - Wonder around the lobby until someone gets on the elevator. 2 - Follow them onto the elevator. 3 - If they do not use their key card to select their floor get off on the second floor. 4 - Take the escalator down to the lobby (this is to help avoid the attention of security). Repeat steps 1 through 4 until someone uses their key card for the 12th floor. 5 – Follow the person off the elevator on the 12th floor and take a right. 6 – Walk straight right into lounge. If you do this between the hours of 5pm and 10pm you can get your hands on some booze. Five to 7 is beer and wine 8 to 10 is the hard stuff. The key is to walk purposefully. If you hesitate you'll draw attention. I should also mention you won't be getting Bud. Sam Adams and Heineken. Woohoo!

4. Make friends with someone with a prosthesis. This only works if they have a hollow leg. You can sneak one good sized bottle or a bunch of small bottles in. I recommend the large bottle. It makes less noise.

(I cannot stress this enough - the above is for entertainment only! Even though it may be tempting, please do not steal. It's not nice.)

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